Last Year, This Year, Next Year...

This Christmas caused a lot of genuine gratefulness in my heart and reminded me of where I was last year. I am so glad God answers prayers and our wonderful church reminds us of that.

On the Sunday before Christmas we were reminded how powerful prayer is and how we tend to use it as a last resort, when there's nothing else to do but pray: And in reality prayer is our greatest power. We then learned how God provided the land for our new church building for exactly the amount of money our congregations has pledged, as well as answered a prayer of who our new family pastor will be, and it happens to be one of our favorite couples at church who has prayed and counseled with us in the past.
After service Ryan and I decided we would ask that person to pray with us on behalf of Nonnie, who had been sick with pneumonia and complications from it and was in the hospital, not doing well at all.
The next morning my dad announced that she was doing better and she could recover at home for Christmas! I know my whole family was calling out to God on her behalf and I know he heard us!

It makes me think of this whole year. Last Christmas was very difficult for me. I had a precious little boy whom my whole family had come to love as part of the family and I was given fair warning that he was to be reunited with his own family in the coming months after Christmas.
I remember feeling so lonely and worthless, dead inside as a woman, and crying out to God to let that be the last Christmas I felt that way. Let that be the last Christmas still pleading for a child of our own. I asked for the some thing several months later on Mother's Day. "Please let this be the last time this day is so painful to me. And a month later, just before Father's Day, God answered our prayers that we had been praying for nearly 2 years with the most exciting joyful news we could imagine. We are going to have a baby!

Several months later I found myself feeling lonely in a different way. Alone in an apartment, in a town I was unfamiliar with, no friends or family near by or "on-call" so to speak like what I have always known and my heart grew heavy. I prayed that if there was any way for us to get back home before the baby was born that God would make it happen.
And he did!
Not only that but the time we spent away in Houston was very valuable to our spiritual growth and in our general maturity. We have changed for the better and got to return with fresh new perspectives just in time for Christmas.

This year has not been easy but it has been a beneficial journey filled with answered prayers that reminds me to live life prayerfully and not to be afraid to ask for big things.

This Christmas was even more enjoyable than an ordinary Christmas in light of the sorrow I experienced last year and how different this year felt from that.

Ryan and I will have our Goals Meeting for 2013 sometime this weekend and I'm so blessed to go into that with such a fresh and grateful perspective, knowing how God really does answer our prayers.

So Much Joy...

Since we have been back in our home, I have enjoyed more sleep every night! Last night I think I slept for 10 hours!

I think Hannah Kate is going through a grown spurt, I'm suddenly getting tired spells again and she is stretching and kicking quite a lot! :)

I LOVE not having any clutter in my home! Thanks to all the premove donations and organizations, moving in and getting settled has been a breeze! And everything is so organized! I love it!

My sister helped me put together Hannah Kate's crib this week! And I put together her little book/toy hutch, and installed her carseat in the van!

I'm refraining from taking or posting any pictures of her room until it is complete! Her rocker should arrive by the end of next week, and her linens won't come into play until after our baby shower on the 10th of January, plus, I probably won't get her mattress until closer to my birthday. So the final reviewing of her room will probably be just a few weeks before she comes!

Speaking of... Ryan and I are getting so excited about our precious little girl! I had a great check up with our awesome nurse yesterday! Got the schedule for our birthing class next month and realized that we are only about 8 weeks away from meeting our little girl! 2 months!

There is a pack and play and a little bedside cradle in our master bedroom for her to be with us the first few months. She has her swing and bouncer all set up in her room, and we have another shower coming up!

We are so blessed!

My husband is working on his garage this weekend. He has really done a lot of cleaning and organizing. He is staining the floor this weekend and when it's done it will be so awesome! And we will have an amazing place to work out without leaving home!

I cannot believe Christmas is on Tuesday!

I'm really craving some cranberry juice right now.

I'm thinking my Dad and I need to go see The Hobbit next week.

My tummy is huge! Ryan thinks its funny. It is pretty funny when it's lopsided due to a little head poking out. :)

I am so very grateful for my life, full of so many blessings!

THANK YOU JESUS!!!

I am SO overwhelmed with peace and joy that I could just cry! (Maybe that's the pregnancy hormones, but I'm not even kidding!)

My bed has never been so soft and comfortable as it was last night after a nice bath and clean new sheets. My aching body was down for the count at 8:30pm!

My husband is SUCH a hard worker and just continues to make me swoon in the way he does every day things. I'm so in love with him and look forward to seeing him in his new role as "Daddy"

My family ... we are just rock stars! In about 4 hours we had everything moved in our home, my awesome sisters and mom cleaning, doing touch up paint on the walls, putting books on shelves, hanging things etc. We got so much done and had so much fun doing it too!

Thanks you Jesus for this home, for being able to live here again, with a fresh new perspective!

Thank you Jesus for my Husband and my family whom I love so very much!

Thank you Jesus for Hannah Kate (WE ARE 31 WEEKS TODAY!) and for her room and the blessings of being able to prepare for her arrival!

Thank you Jesus for an AWESOME Doctor (Who we see on Thursday) that makes me feel confidant and at peace about having our sweet girl in a safe and joyful environment.

Thank you Jesus for this Christmas Season. Life has been so crazy that I haven't been able to enjoy it as much as I normally do but now that I'm home and near my family, I'm loving the Christmas cheer!

I am so grateful for everything we have! I could keep going but I do need to get back to work on getting this wonderful house organized before Christmas! :)

HAPPY MONDAY!!!

Random Thoughts

- It's Wednesday! The day after tomorrow we make our fist "moving trip" to Austin to drop off Ryan's work van!

- Tomorrow is Ryan's last day of school until January!

- I am so thankful for my Mom's Netflix account and for being allowed to use is these past few weeks.

- Because it's been cold this week I have stretched normal sweaters and long sleeved shirts over my pregnant tummy and have been presently surprised at how they've worked out for me. I've never had a skin tight wardrobe. Good thing!

- I am SO freaking excited to be coming home this weekend I can hardly contain myself! I am SEARCHING for things to do to pass the time, particularly productive ones but until Friday I really can't do much.

- I am already SO thankful for things I took for granted when we lived in Pflugerville! I can't wait to take better care of my home, I will never complain about having to simply open the back door for my dogs to go out. I can't wait to have a room dedicated to my sweet girl and all her things and see the beautiful decor come together! I'm so thankful for our master bedroom and can't wait to prep that for Hannah Kate's arrival. I will be so grateful on Monday when I do the grocery shopping and don't need to waddle up the stairs with all the groceries. I am sorry I ever took anything about living there for granted and SO glad I get to go back and really appreciate it!

- I can't wait for our next Doctor's appointment! It's a week from tomorrow and it will be our first one back home! And my OB is pretty sonogram happy and I LOVE seeing my baby so I'm hoping for another peak at what she's doing in there.

- I can't wait to see family and friends and enjoy the holiday season back home!

- I'm so looking forward to and pretty much relying on my Mom and sister helping me figure out where to best put furniture and get the house set up, particularly in the master and baby room to prepare for life with a newborn.

- I'm so excited about the timing of our move. To get to have our baby in the hospital with the Dr we wanted, to have sisters close by who not only stay at home with their babies like I will but also have some of the smaller things in common, like cloth diapers! To have an immediate support group so close by and help if the diapers throw me the first week or so. SUCH a blessing!

- Our kids will be so close to their cousins! Makafui and Hannah Kate might end up in some of the same homeschooling groups later. And if not I'm sure we will plan some family field trips with brothers, sisters, cousins etc. How cool it will be to raise our families so close together with some of the same big parenting decisions! :)

- I'm so looking forward to getting back into our church.

- Justin's Christmas Eve party is gonna be so much fun!

- Christmas day is going to be the bomb!

- My husband is so sweet and hard working.

- I'm so glad his commute and his school nights will be much easier in Austin.

- As anxious and impatient as I am to get back to Austin, I am so grateful, so blessed, and so very happy. Thank You Jesus for bringing us back home!

30 Weeks!

Today marks 30 weeks of pregnancy! 10 weeks feels so long and yet so short all at the same time! It feels long when I think of how many days that is and how long we have to wait to meet our baby girl. But that same amount of time feels like nothing when I think of all that's to happen between now and then! Moving, Christmas, family time, setting up our home again, a baby shower, birthdays, and the BOOM! It's February!
We are very excited about Hannah Kate's arrival and are so looking forward to meeting her.

We are also T minus 5 days from our move! I have made a list of things to do to prepare and I'm hoping it'll last me all week.

You know those people who ask for help moving and you show up and they haven't even packed? Yeah I'm like the opposite of that. Ryan keeps looking for things around the apartment to find out that they are already packed up. I like to be prepared and I hate doing things last minute even if it is last minute items that need packed. Our kitchen has the bare essentials and hardly enough food for the rest of the week, our bathroom is being stripped of almost everything today and since we are down to our last week, I'm going to see what we can't live without for a few days! :)

This morning I am enjoying 40 degree weather in a warm outfit with the balcony door open and a cup of hot cider. NOW it feels like December! I hope this lasts for a while.

Yesterday Ryan and I went over to the Briar Forest house. That house is where Ryan grew up and it's been years since anyone has lived there. It has foundation problems that are down right scary. The doorways are crooked the floors lean to various sides and the cracks in the walls and ceilings are pretty monstrous.
But we have been blessed by this vacant house by being able to store things in the separate garage (that oddly enough has it's own slab without foundation issues) and by being able to glean from the house. Hannah Kate's dresser was a buffet table being stored in the garage, and yesterday we chose 3 very nice ceiling fans to remove from the house and bring home with us next weekend. One to go on our back porch! I'm very excited about that and so proud of my husband for being so resourceful!

Today I'm on a hunt for Trash bags, Duct Tape, and Butter.

And I'm considering going ahead and packing up the cable and internet equipment and shipping it off before Friday just to have it out of the way. I wonder how difficult life would be without TV and internet... maybe it's worth finding out how dependent I am on such entertainment. ;)
But not until I'v had our mail forwarded and chosen a new provider for internet back home.

That's all for now, Happy Monday!

Life To Music

Today I decided to do life with a soundtrack. I have been doing my everyday things, including grocery shopping with my ipod and a good playlist. I'm previewing the peaceful/encouraging playlist I created for labor. I've already decided to take a song or two off but I've noticed that for the most part it is very relaxing and has already calmed some of the everyday anxieties I've been feeling with everything going on.
Music is so powerful and I have always just loved it.
I play Christmas music while doing laundry, dishes, vacuuming and sewing projects, and having my soundtrack today has just reminded me of the peace that comes from knowing Christ. I just get so caught up in everyday life that I forget that my heavenly father has me taken care of.

These passed few days have been especially hard for me. I feel so isolated because not only has Ryan been working far away and late (which is a blessing for our finances) but also several of my family members are going through rough times and we lost our Uncle Jimmie.
My family always rallies together in hard times. Like when my Nonnie went to be with Jesus, there was so much precious family time and gathering around my mom.
It brings me to tears that I haven't been able to hug my Daddy in so long but especially in the midst of him losing his baby brother. I cannot imagine.
Knowing how my family proudly deals with hardship and not only not being a part of that but also being separated from my husband so much this week has just made it difficult to battle emotions.
But my God is big, and in charge. And I can't help but think that my family going through so much... job difficulties, layoff scares, insurance and financial problems, and now losing Uncle Jimmie... is in part spiritual warfare. Bad things happen as a result of sin in the world and are not always caused by Satan but I can't help but think that the love and strength and faith that pulses from my family as a whole, is a threat to the enemy. But he will be sorely disappointing when he remembers how strong we are and how our love and encouragement for each other is just magnified in difficult times.
I'm so proud of my family, and this week, being separated from them has been the hardest since moving here but I'm down to a single digit count down. 9 more days until we are back home for good.

And in the mean time, my soundtrack for life idea is keeping me going and reminding me of this verse that I'm taking as my shield and comfort this week:
"You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You."
- Isaiah 26:3

Over The Hump

It's Wednesday! That means we are halfway through the week and closer to the weekend! This is good for me since things will pick up a little more next week as we prepare for the big move.

Last night was a tough night. It had been cloudy and dark and rainy all day long and I received that sad news that my Uncle Jimmie had gone to be with Jesus. He was only 53. I have a lot of funny and fond memories of my Uncle from when I was a child and my heart went out to my Dad and Nonnie and I hated not being near family, especially since Ryan was gone at school and I was alone.

I ended up trying to take my thoughts and feelings captive and made Muddy Buddies and listened to some good music and went over the my mother in law's house to just get out and away from my lonely apartment.

Tomorrow I'm going grocery shopping for the last time here in Cypress and I'm trying to be strategic about it where the groceries stretch an extra two days but no further than that as we will be moving and I don't want to move or throw away food.

I am preparing another "pre-move load" for Ryan and I to take to our storage unit in Round rock this weekend. Without the dogs and with all the seats folded down we can fit nearly two truck bed sized loads in our mini van. That way we can be certain that the 26 foot truck we reserved for next weekend will fit all of Ryan's work out equipment as well as all of our furniture and other things.

I watched my first episode of Downton Abby last night. I will continue watching but I am, as of yet, undecided on whether or not I will jump on the band wagon. Maybe I was too distracted to really get into it last night?

I've been struggling a bit with anxiety lately. I think it's because so much is changing and is about to change and in the midst of all that i'm alone most of the time with little to do to occupy myself.
I think a lot of my anxieties are also coming from being pregnant, in third trimester and not having access to any birthing classes until next month, as well as not being in the same town as my OB or my family.
I think once we move and the excitement of Christmas is here and I get to see mt Dr for the first time since actually moving back to Austin, most of that anxiety will subside.

I've been keeping up with my blog so much better lately even if I don't really have anything exciting to say. This is probably out of boredom and a lack of activities to occupy myself with.

Goings On

So even though we only have 2 more weeks here in Cypress; Ryan was feeling festive and wanted to decorate our apartment balcony with Christmas lights! A great idea but a difficult one as we discovered there is no outlet on the balcony to plug the lights into.

We did however, take a string of lights from our Christmas box and strung up our little pine tree. It's not your ordinary Christmas tree but it came with ornaments on it and we intend to plant it when we get home. Having lights on it certainly does make it a little more joyful in the little space.
I also put my Martha Stewart wreath on the door.

In other news, we have been growing increasingly more excited to have our house back with the exclusivity of the neighborhood and the fact that there are still no adjacent houses right next to us yet. We are not anti-social but our apartment neighbors have really taught us the joy we've experienced in our independence from other people right next to us.
Here's my "sh-peel" and let me just say, this is not a bash on apartment living as a whole because I've stayed with people at apartments that are nothing like this one and don't have issues like we've had here.
Our downstairs neighbors are a young couple of chain smokers. They smoke all throughout the day and going to my car or out on the balcony has become an irritant as I'm super sensitive to cigarette smoke. They also have a dog who is taken in the front of the building to poop on or just next to the sidewalk. If it's not a stepping/slipping hazard it becomes an issue with flies because they don't pick up after their pet!
Our upstairs neighbor is a female sex addict. We have met her and she seems like a very nice lady but she doesn't do ANYTHING quietly. I always know when she is doing her laundry (Which is often in the middle of the night) rummaging around in the kitchen, slamming cabinet doors etc. or just walking around up there because she is so loud.
Her private life is no different, and she typically conducts her "business" between the hours of 11pm and 4am during the work week when we are trying to sleep.
However on the weekend we have noticed 11am 2pm 4:30pm random daytime "activities." But no one has ever seen anyone go up or come down from visiting her apartment.
Ryan things she hires jigalows (sp)

Either way, between the neighbors he happened to get sandwiched between, the water and electricity problems, as well as other poor management issues we've had with this specific apartment... we are SO ready to get home! And I'm ready for our big pups to have their yard back! I'm ready to stop having to take them up and down the stairs every 2 or 3 hours and pick up after them with little black bags. (Ryan will scoop the yard with a shovel once a week when we are back home.)

I'm also SOOO ready to redecorate our home! And to see Hannah Kate's room come together! I've gathered so much for her already in the way of shower gifts, furniture, decor.... I can't wait to see it all come together!

Speaking of our precious baby girl, we are 29 weeks along today! Just 11 more weeks to go! The other day I asked Ryan: "Can you believe it's already December?" And he thought for a minute and replied: "Yes, and I wish it were the end of February."
"Why?" I asked.
"Because I'm ready to meet my little girl!" My heart melted! I LOVE his anticipation and excitement and genuine impatience and love for her.
I have unfortunately developed a few stretch marks but when we are sitting on the couch together watching the Texans, he will go get my cream and put it on my tummy for me. He's such a sweet man.
And even though we have 11 weeks left (give or take) I can definitely tell we are coming to the end of pregnancy with Baxton Hicks contractions, an ever growing belly, and a general sense of feeling heavier and having to work harder around and with my body shape to do everyday things.

12 more days until the weekend of the big move! Lots of driving to happen over the next two weekends but once we are there, it will be so worth it!

DECEMBER!!!

Happy 1st of December! I'm so excited about the start of this month! So many happy exciting times ahead.

Today Ryan and I took our van, packed it full of boxes and smaller items and made a day trip to Round Rock where we got a storage room and unloaded it all. It's amazing what we can fit in our van with all the seats down in the floor! More than the bed of a truck for sure!
We plan on doing this again next Saturday so that 2 weeks from today we are only worrying about furniture and loose items like clothing etc. We have ordered a 26 foot truck and are having to plan very carefully how we do everything so that it all gets there at the right time.

I'm so excited to be moving things back to my home town. I can see Hannah Kate's room coming together in my mind and we have already received so much for her!
I'm hoping these next two weeks just fly by and we will be back home in no time. Then I have just a week to try to get the house unpacked and set up with window treatments, wall decor etc. before Christmas! And I definately want to be able to relax and enjoy Christmas so that is my goal and I will find a way to get it done!

15 more days! :)

The Excitement Of Getting Ready!

Well, there certainly is a lot to be getting ready for; and the joy and excitement of it all is making me giddy! First off: Getting Ready for Hannah Kate! I got some great maternity shirts that I had been wanting for a while now, and really kind of needed and I love them! One of my favorites is black with pink and silver detail that says "Princess in Progress" Wearing it kind of makes me extra aware of my precious baby girl! We are only 12 weeks away from meeting our sweet daughter and with one shower down we are still receiving items in the mail, stocking up her stuff for the move and working on her nursery.
My mom got all the fabric for her curtains, bedding etc. on Black Friday and I ordered her rocker special order several weeks ago. Her crib and toy/book cabinet are waiting at my mom's house and I just finished transforming an old buffet table into her dresser/changing table!

We are so excited and can't wait to have her room all set up and ready for her when she get's here!

That's another thing we are getting ready for! We move in 17 days! In preparation we have been selling things on Craigslist, booked our moving truck, will be getting a storage room in Round Rock and taking a few trips up in advance to be sure we can get it all there, and I have been organizing and packing and donating like crazy! I am SO excited to get back home, be near family, be in MY home, get everything put away and organized and start perfecting Hannah Kate's room!

Getting ready for Christmas: this is more of a heart/spiritual preparedness. I LOVE this time of year so I am definitely preparing with Joy in my heart but I am also challenged to remember what Christmas is really about and to be focused on the right aspects of the season. We already have all of our Christmas gifts ready and waiting at Gigi and Pop's house for Christmas morning, and we will be all moved in (hopefully) and relaxed, ready to spend our last Christmas before parenthood with each other and family.

I am SO ecstatic about everything coming up and so blessed that I have enough to do in the mean time that I am not just bored out of my mind counting minutes until either Ryan get's home or our move back home.

28 WEEKS!!!

Today we are 28 weeks along! Only 12 more weeks before we are full term and ready to meet Hannah Kate!

We have had quite the holiday weekend! Let's recap:

Wednesday was nice because it was like a Friday. I got back from Austin where I had a fabulous time with my mom and sister and a wonderful doctor's appointment that confirmed both Hannah Kate and myself are stellar in the health department! :)
I got to show Ryan and his mom our ultra sound on DVD and then Ryan and I enjoyed a relaxing evening at home, slept in late, and headed to Thanksgiving at Gran's.
We watched the Texans game (We are so going to the super bowl!) Had the turkey and fixins. And then transitioned into a family baby shower for Hannah Kate! She got so many wonderful things! We got a great head start with her car seat, bouncer, sleep and play rocker, swaddles and bath stuff. I'm so grateful! And had so much fun I can't wait for the next shower in Austin! :)

Friday was a great relaxing day of sleeping in and enjoying extra time with my hubby. We spent some more time with Gran and Grandad and Allison and Bob and came home late but still got plenty enough sleep for Saturday! We moved from the briar forest garage to the 290 garage so that when we move to Austin in 20 days we are only moving from one area.
This was a very good thing because it showed us that there is no possible way we can move all of our stuff in one trip. We packed a 16 foot truck full of stuff just from the briar forest garage. We are renting the largest truck possible (26 foot) for our move and we just cannot expect to fit a couch, two beds, and the rest of the apartment etc in an extra ten feet.
So I think we have decided to try for me to make two trips in the next 20 days with the van packed to the max with boxes and smaller items to put in a storage room so that we decrease what we take on moving day.
We may also have a friend with a truck coming up from Austin to help. Then I think we can be moved all in that weekend... except for Ryan's silly work truck.

After we got all moved in the 290 garage we got some lunch and had our Christmas exchange! That was so much fun. Allie got really into it and I'm glad we got to make it happen because with our move just 3 weeks away and everyone's busy schedules, I wasn't sure it would get to happen in person this year.

So I have got from searching for projects to keep me busy until we move to having long lists of to do's to prepare for the move. I have more things to organize with the baby shower and Christmas and now that we know we are going to have to rent a storage room and make some extra trips, I have some planning to do, not so mention actually organizing what can go down to a storage room and what needs to stay until moving day etc. Plus I have errands to run, bills to pay, furniture to redo etc.
But I am more than thankful for all of it because I was asking God to help me find ways to be productive and not be bored or too anxious for future days. I'm enjoying everything in it's time and then the time just flies by!

Well, this post is far too long as it is and I have plenty to do, so HAPPY CHRISTMAS SEASON!!!

In The Home Stretch!

Today I am 27 weeks pregnant which puts me into my third and final trimester! I can hardly believe it! In 91 days I will be full term and ready for Hannah Kate to arrive at any time! It's gone by a lot faster than I would have though in some cases but a lot slower in other ways.
When I think about what's going to happen over the next few months I know these last several weeks are going to wiz by!

For instance: It's Thanksgiving week! Today I super clean the apartment and get all the laundry done because I won't have time to do it before Thanksgiving. Tomorrow morning I get up and head out to Austin for a big doctor's appointment and an overnight stay with my parents. Wednesday I head back to Houston in time to meet my hubby after work and TA-DA a long holiday weekend begins!
Thursday is not only Thanksgiving at Grans but a family Baby Shower for Ryan and I. We might just take a look at Black Friday ads and venture out... or not. We will see. But we should get plenty of family time over the weekend. We are also going to be moving all the big bulky furniture from Briar Forest to the 290 garage so we can better hose/clean things off and get organized for the move. This will make things SO much easier because the 290 house is just 5 minutes or so from the apartment and now we will only be moving from one area, instead of having to take a moving truck all the way to the other side of town.
It also gives me a work place to get started on my changing table/dresser for Hannah Kate's room. I'm really excited about that because I've run out of things to work on up until a week or less before the move so it gives me something fun to do with my time!

I know this week is going to fly by, what with Ryan off so much and fun family affairs going on and then we are officially into the Christmas season! And even today we are only 26 days out from our move home! After this week we start the 20 day count down and that's when I can get back to work on getting things ready! (or at least, within that amount of time. I got a good head start so only last minute stuff is left to do as far as the move goes.)

All these count downs! 3 days until Thanksgiving! 26 days until we move home! 36 days until Christmas! And 91 days until we will be able to meet our precious baby! And between Christmas and Hannah Kate's due date we have New Years, Birthdays, Valentine's day, and right about the time she is expected to arrive, our anniversary! :)
This last trimester will be full of joy and life and love and family! I'm so excited! And so very grateful!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING WEEK!!!

Exactly One Month From Today....

Today is November 15th. On December 15th we will be packing up one GIANT Penske truck and our awesome mini van (with all the seats down!) and heading back to Austin!

Now that we are just 4 weeks away, we have done a lot of prep to make this move easier. I have learned SO much from all of our moves!
Grocery shopping is different now. I try only to buy things I am SURE we will consume before the move and am especially careful with cold foods. I'm not planning on moving anything edible! It's one less thing to deal with. So the pantry and the freezer/refrigerator were all cleaned out before I went shopping today, we have gone through clothes, books, movies, closets, cabinets, under the bed containers, boxes etc and have gotten rid of things in EVERY category and then reorganized or repacked it.
Yesterday I went through the bathroom supplies. Hair products make up etc. I let it add up when really it should get thrown away and sorted, and I was about ready to box it up when I realized I was out of tape.
But Ryan came home with a Walmart gift card from work! We got to grab some fun things as well as a few little things before pay day.

Today I was planning on using our last box to box up the bathroom things we don't use on a regular basis and on my way out to grocery shop I noticed a small stick of unused packing boxes near a dumpster in our complex! Score!

We are both SO ready to get back home we are ahead of the game! Our electricity and water have already been pre set up to start back in Pflugerville on appropriate days. I am scanning the best deal on internet services to have one some out and hook us up on move in day, we have already ordered our truck and started packing and grouping our things for an easier move, and we have even already recruited a few loving helpers for move in day.
My big brother is doing his best to be here to help Ryan pack up the truck before we head out but his work schedule is crazy!
I can pack up the van by myself it's mostly loose items, clothes, decor, baskets etc. All the delicate things will be in my care. The truck will have furniture and boxes.

I get so excited organizing our return home and I'm so glad we get to be back in time to enjoy some of the Christmas holiday before it's over!

This Time Last Year...

On November 11th 2011 Ryan and I officially became foster parents with our very first placement. At about 10pm our case manager, a CPS worker, and two little boys showed up at our door. The youngest of the two in the arms of the CPS worker wearing too small PJs with cars characters on them and wrapped up in a fuzzy blue blanket. He had smiling eyes, a happy face and fuzzy hair that was to die for.  He let me hold him right away and I realized just how big he was. 9 Month old Julienn came into our lives that night, along with his 3 year old uncle Cesar, who only stayed a few days before returning home.
JJ however, he changed our lives! I think of him this time of year and it just hit me that we had only had hime a few weeks before Thanksgiving but by that holiday, everyone was in love with him and captured by his charm and exuberant joy. What a precious, precious boy. I miss him so much! And realized what we had with him to it's fullest extent only after he was gone. If I had it to do over again I would have done better by him.

We get into things like service and charity for one reason or another. We got into fostering because God told us to but we did think about how much we intended of helping and blessing the lives that came through our home and really, we were blessed, we were touched, and we learned so much from such precious little children who had been through much more than I ever had.

Julienn will be two years old about the time Hannah Kate is due to arrive. I can hardly believe it! I wonder what he looks like now, how he's doing, if he speaks English as well as Spanish etc. I had no idea what a permanent effect loving him and caring for him for only 6 months would have one me. He left a little chubby hand print on my heart and I will always think of him.

But soon I will have my own baby to love and care for and look after, and devote my time and effort to. Without CPS, without visits and regulations and agencies. Just my husband, our daughter, and me.
I don't know if our fostering days are completely over yet or not. I wonder that a lot. But Ryan and I are both certain that it will be a good long while before we seriously begin considering something like that, or adoption, again. We will be giving all of our time and attention to Hannah Kate for a while.

I do cherish my JJ memories. I believe he had a special impact not only on Ryan and I but our families as well. He was a hard boy to upset. Always so happy and bubbly, everything was always just fine in his little eyes. I love that. I hope to adopt that spirit and outlook on life. So much joy.

Homeward Bound!

Well, what a week it has been! Full of prayer and planning and good conversations between my husband and me. We found out after lots of back and forth communication with our tenant that he will be able to move out just in time for us to move in. This was a huge anxiety of mine as I'm just so ready to be done with temporary living and moving! One thing that I treasure is that while praying for this to work out I specifically prayed that because it's a favor to us for Steve to break the lease, that his move would some how bless him. We found out that his new place is not only more central to his job but very close to some old buddies he's been trying to reconnect with and he is very happy with the move. :)

We expected to be rushing to move in and get settled just DAYS before Christmas but found out this week that Ryan finished school December 13th, and starts his job in Austin December 17th which means we will be moving December 15th and 16th. A week before we thought we would be able to! This brings both blessings and conflict. It means we may have more help moving in the house, and we have more time to get settled before Christmas. But that weekend is the Nutcracker weekend here in Houston. The Nutcracker ballet is a tradition in Ryan's family and while circumstances mean we will have to miss this year, it was also the planned date of our Houston baby shower so that sort of got messed up. We also need to find a time to have a Christmas with our family here in Houston before we leave.
That being said, I am relieved that we get to be out of this apartment a week sooner. Don't get me wrong I'm not against apartment living, we are just disappointed in this specific apartment as our water and electricity have been turned off and gone out several times and the construction has been non stop and we happen to be completely surrounded by smoking neighbors. Plus, our apartment doesn't hold enough of our kitchen stuff to really feel settled so we've been living in a state of temporary inconvenience and  I'm just so ready to have all of our things in one home again, not 4. :)

So all in all, I am happy we get to move in sooner, I'm just bummed that it interfered with family plans here in Houston. Hopefully it will all get worked out. We were trying to have two showers so no one had to drive the distance between Austin and Houston but it may be easier for some Houston family to come to Austin for a shower in January, I don't know. I just want everything to be easier on the people trying to bless us with showers. I feel bad our move messed that up.

I realized that the day we move home I will be about 31 weeks pregnant! How is that possible?! I'll only be about 9 weeks away from meeting our sweet girl! (give or take a few days)
I'm nearly 26 weeks today but 31 just seems so much closer! :) 8 weeks after Christmas we will be on the watch for little Hannah Kate, in our hometown with our favorite OB, in our own home, with my mom and sister just a drive away.

All this craziness with the move and overlapping the last few months rent with the first few months mortgage puts us in a very tight budget but I'm actually thankful for that! It's forced us to be wise and disciplined with the money God has entrusted us with and more creative and purposeful with our time.
We have a 3 month plan in place and scheduled weekly budget meetings and a list of free entertainment ideas to keep us from blowing the budget. We do much better things with our time like reading out loud, finding free museum days, working out together, planning gardens, playing board games, couples bible studies. Our budget is giving us this amazing opportunity to become closer and more engaged that going out for dinner and a movie, or as we've done, renting a movie to watch at home.
We even cooked a big breakfast dinner last night and it was great! We may go on a picnic today.
I love my husband so very much and love that we are learning these things before Hannah Kate comes!

I feel so blessed, more than content, very happy and at peace!

Thank you Jesus for all that we have!

Election Reflections

Let me just say that I hate politics! I have hidden and nearly unfriended people from facebook because over the past several weeks it has been used as a platform not only to endorse certain political figures but to slander the opponent as well.

I was as informed as someone like me can be about the huge issues of our nations and the platforms of the candidates. My husband did research and we spoke with people we love and trust and we did our part and voted (Though I'm not sure mine was counted because I voted out of district.)

Now we have our President for the next four years and while I may not have voted for him or agree with his policies, he is still our president. A national leader, and as far as I'm concerned he should automatically have my respect, simply because I am to respect the authorities.
It makes me sad to see and hear such negative and unChrist-like remarks from Christians, not only aimed at our President but at our country for "choosing" him.
Has anyone stopped to think that if God didn't want him to be our President He could have prevented it? Maybe what is to come is all a part of God's plan for this nation. I don't know, I don't understand half of what this could mean for our future and as soon as my husband and I have the chance I know we would love to sit down with Mom and Dad Brown and pick their brains on the matter knowing that their central focus is not on man but on God.

I am disappointed. Not so much in the outcome of the election but in the reaction of so many of "God's People" The world already views us as people of hate, condemnation, and hypocrites. We are already working against things we are not, and when we react against our nation and it's leader we are not doing the Kingdom of God ANY favors.
"They will know we are Christians by our love" And yet Christians can be some of the most ruthless politically envolved that I have ever known.
Our faith and the actions that spring forth from that faith should set us a part from the world in such a way that presents light in the darkness. But where is our faith if we are so changed, enraged, or in despair over the outcome of who our earthly leader is? Is he not human? Because God is immortal, way beyond anything of a human! And as far as action; what good is complaining and spreading fear over what is to come? That is the wrong action in my opinion because who can know what is really to come?

I am not saying that I have no anxieties about what is to come. I know it might get a lot harder, and I have some fear of hardship, however, that fear is leveled with the faith I have both in my amazing God and my incredible husband who have provided for and looked after me and will continue to do so.
There is nothing qrong with being prepared but perspective is so easily lost.

Christians should not be just like the rest of the world except that we go to church every week. We should be defined by the God who saved us and therefore be living our lives for Him and with His Kingdom at the fore fronts of our minds, and not be caught up with the day to day life of this world.
God is bigger, and we should be better.

That is all.

25 Weeks

It's strange, I've been pregnant for over five months now but just suddenly feel very pregnant. Physically. Ryan is very amused at how tight and round my stomach is getting and how powerful and more frequent Hannah Kate's movements are becoming.
It's a precious thing that I am so grateful for, feeling her inside, knowing that she's growing and developing on track; falling more and more in love with her every day.
Yesterday Ryan told me he loves her so much already and just can't wait to meet her, to hold her, to see her. His excitement and brimming love for her already brings me so much joy. I always knew he would love her but as husbands aren't the one carrying the baby I had been prepared for it to take him a little longer to be as excited as I am. Or maybe even to have to see her to fall head over heels. Not my husband. And I'm so glad!

We finished reading The Magician's Nephew last night and I never realized how many parallels there were between the children's story and the Christian life. Hannah Kate loves family reading time. She gets to hear both of her parents read aloud to her even before she is born.
We start The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe tonight and at this rate we will be through the whole series before she is even born! Then I think we will move to baby board books.

I do feel very pregnant now... I think I just noticed that I walk differently, sit differently, lay differently... I'm now to the point where I have to change things to accommodate my growing mid section. It makes me smile.

We have about 15 weeks left before we meet our precious little girl. (I'm guessing closer to 16 weeks but we will be full term in 15 so that's what I'll count to.)

At Thanksgiving we will have about 12 weeks left.
At Christmas we will only have about 8 weeks left.
And on Ryan's and mine birthdays only about 4 weeks left.
Somewhere between Valentine's Day and our 3rd Anniversary our sweet girl will be born. Which I think is sweet because with Valentine's day before her birthday and her parent's anniversary after, her special days is surrounded by love. :)
Her official due date is February 18th, but based on measurements and more informed calculations it's closer to February 20th. Neither of which really matter because babies are hardly ever born on their due date.

I am excited to meet her but am not really rushing it. I want her to be healthy and that's all that really matters.

I think I am more anxious to get home. Once I'm back in my home town where our real doctor is, the one who's been there from the PCOS diagnosis and all the fertility challenges, the one who doesn't hide his faith in Jesus and has the best Nurse Practitioner ever who just happened to be a foster mom when I was and became a very sweet friend to me, then I will feel even more at ease. I trust those people and feel taken care of. Once we are back home my favorite NP will take us through our birthing class and I will feel more prepared.
Beyond that, once we are home I'll be near my family again! I'll have my beautiful mother just a short drive away with her bountiful wisdom, experience and sweet encouragement. I'll have my wonderful father with His loving insight, spiritual direction, strong prayers, and special "Daddy Comfort" that got me through so much growing up.
I'll have my awesome siblings who will be great aunts and uncles and some of which already have little cousins waiting to meet Hannah Kate for play dates and mommy get togethers.
I'll have what's been a  huge support group to me all my life and I can't wait. Neither can Ryan! He is so excited to get back home to family too! I know he's looking forward to Christmas and more Mom and Dad Brown talk time about homeschooling and the future of our nation.
And I know he will feel more at ease about his wife and his daughter not only doing okay but thriving at home while he does his part os provider and dutifully goes to work and school.

Getting home in time to have everything ready for Hannah's arrival means peace for both of us. Well, all three of us really! With my daughter inside of me I'm sure she senses a more relaxed mama.

So that is what I am thankful for today. Peace from God through the gift of family and home. And in the meantime, I'm also thankful for the patience to be able to look forward to going home while still living out the rest of our time here. And I'm thankful for how quickly time is passing and the holidays to keep as busy and happy and GRATEFUL!

Thoughts

- Something about the red Holiday cups (And not working at Starbucks) makes the drinks taste better at this time of year.  :)

- I'm so glad it's  November! I love this time of year, I hope the weather gets cooler very quickly.

- It's possible Ryan might be able to take off the day of my appointment to make a day trip with me to the OB in Austin. At least we still wouldn't have to board the dogs. We will reevaluate when we get closer.

- Ryan and I are both trying to be better stewards in life. One thing we have concentrated on is wasting time with too much media. We are not against TV, video games or internet (obviously) but it does become so much a part of our daily routine that we have decided to get more creative and purposeful with our time.

- One thing we have started doing is reading out loud together. We started with Narnia (We like to include Hannah Kate, she can hear us reading!) We are reading the Magicians Nephew

- With less media and more one on one time we find we have more to talk about. Like what books and movies we want or don't want our children to take part in. I love parenting discussions because they get pretty deep but we always seem to be of one mind :)

- We've also started Study Dates! Neither of us are natural studiers but Ryan is studying to get his own HVAC license so he can start his own business on the side and be more comfortable taking on residential jobs. The test is tough and he has LOTS of material to go over. Only 40% of people pass the first time.
While he studies (if he doesn't need my help) I am writing a novel which I hope to sell and bring in a small income. It's a lofty dream but if I do get published with one book it just makes it that much easier to get published with another and it's something I can do while still being a full time Mom.

- Our first Study Date was telling. We are making progress but it will take us both a while before we can really hammer down and get more done in select periods of time.

- I need more personal projects. Ryan is gone more lately and I've run out of things to do. I've done all the organizing/decluttering I can do, and I don't want to start any projects that just clutter up the place again. (Like craft projects that just eventually get thrown away.) But I definately need something to keep my mind and hands busy to pass the time... Hmmmm...

-Thanksgiving is gonna be here before we know it! I have soo much to be Thankful for! I can't wait to be back home with my parents and family and raise our daughter and other children back home!

Anxieties...

I've gotten pretty good at "Putting My Big Girl Panties On" up here in Houston being on my own so much, but one thing I've noticed is that sometimes being an adult gets confused with stuffing my feelings.
Having anxieties and worries and emotions doesn't make a person less mature, it's what we do with those emotions that shows our maturity level.

Over the past two days I have really been struggling with some honest anxiety and have been doing what I know to do and talking it out with my Hubby and doing my best to lay them before the lord.

I had a pretty good Doctor's appointment with my original Dr back in Austin on Monday. They were happy to have me back and I am happy to be back with that office and that Dr. I definitely feel like I'm getting better care with them than I was here in Houston.
But here are some of my concerns:

- I couldn't ignore the number on the scale because they have you weigh yourself in the bathroom and report the number to the nurse... This number makes me cry... maybe I'm just hormonal and maybe I have just always really struggled with my weight and it's very difficult for me to put it into perspective during pregnancy. I was not at my ideal weight before pregnancy and my last Dr was very rude about how much I've gained and I can't put it out of my mind.

- The next appointment I go to is my glucose screening and I am so afraid I will find out I have gestational diabetes because I'm a fat undisciplined cow! If I find out my pregnancy becomes more risky due to diabetes I will feel like a mommy failure! I am eating better and Ryan and I go to our little apartment gym 3 times a week and I ride a bike for about 40 minutes. I don't know how much good that's doing though...

- Another few things that will be happening at my next appointment is a redo of my stage 2 sonogram because my Dr doesn't really trust the care I got here, (which I don't blame him! They have still yet to transfer my medical records and ignored a fairly important test that came back abnormal.) and it makes me sad that Ryan can't come to this appointment because this doctor does their big sonogram in 3D which Ryan has said he would love to see.
They are also going to do some further testing on the abnormal screening I had back in my first trimester which is another thing I really wanted Ryan to be with me for.
Without going into detail it's the second abnormality I've had in this particular area and my Dr is concerned that no one did anything further here in Houston and it could mean something pretty scary; like cancer or more difficulty having future children. This makes me sad and nervous but really just bummed that my hubby can't be there.

My whole next visit is just full of emotional triggers and I have to be fasting beforehand and when I think about it all I just want Ryan to be at my side. But this is a part of being an adult. We can't afford to board the dogs again or for him to take a day off of work with the move coming up and Hannah Kate coming not long after that.

The upside is, this should be the only visit like this that we will be driving in from out of town to make. And I have my mom in town there.

The move and organizing our finances is another anxiety of mine but as we have a little more control over that, it's not quite as scary, just a lot of hard work and sacrifices.
It pretty much means we won't be back in Austin (except for my Dr visit) until we move down there at Christmas. The gas and dog boarding don't fit in the budget when we factor in the expenses of moving right at Christmas. But once we are home I will feel like I can breathe easy again and it will all be worth it!

I'm so Thankful we have a God who understands our human anxieties and emotions and invites us to give them to Him so we can have more peace.
I can't wait to be at home, to have my husband and my family all in one area again.

The Journey Home

"The Journey home, is never too long, your heart arrives before the train"

I've been thinking about this song over the past few days. This line is very true. No matter how long or difficult, it's always worth it to come home, but I really get the second part: "Your Heart Arrives Before The Train." I am SO ready to live back in Pflugerville, back in my home, being close to all my family and friends, going back to our church, our small group... and I'm beyond blessed that we even get to come home but now that I know we are, I find I am very impatient. Every time we go back it just feels like home and I get super excited all over again but we have to come back to Cypress again until the time is right.

It seems so far away, and yet the months are progressing swiftly. 53 days from now we will be packed up in a giant truck headed back to our neck of the woods. That seems like AGES away, especially given how close it is to Christmas! I hope I can get us settled in just a few days so we can enjoy Christmas a bit more.

That's another thing. Since we move just days before Christmas, this will be the only time in my life that I will not decorate for the holidays the Sunday after Thanksgiving. This does make me a bit sad but I guess it's one less thing to put away after Christmas and before Hannah Kate comes. I'll just have to enjoy other people's decor.

One of the upsides to all of this is that I get to go back to my OB who helped us through our fertility issues and followed us on our journey to even get to have Hannah Kate!
This is a huge blessing! I was not happy with my OB here but didn't really know what to do! I never saw the same person, everyone was a bit cold and insensitive to particular things like weight gain, and they blew off what I am seeing now as something more of a concern.
So, I had a wonderful doctor's appointment yesterday! I got to see my sweet girl! And for the first time she was sleeping while we peeked at her. She sleeps with her arm resting over her head just like her mommy! :)
My doctors were so happy to have me back!
The stressor of this aspect is the transfer of funds from my last doctor to this doctor and getting our finances sorted out medically. I also had to work out what I hope is ONE more traveling appointment for the end of November. And unfortunately it means Ryan can't be with me but after that we should be back in town for the rest of the appointments.

53 days sounds like a lot, but 8 weeks doesn't! In about 8 weeks we will be home. :) So I have 8 weeks to continue my organization and packing. The more I do now the easier unpacking will be back home.

Time for some "To Do" and "Check" lists! :)

Halloween

I both love and hate this time of year.
Fall has always been my favorite season what with gorgeously poetic scenes of colored leaves, cool breezes and the natural tendency to reflect upon life and thankfulness.

Halloween, however, is a different thing. It came up this past weekend with "Mima" as our little niece Allie is two and gets dressed up in ADORABLE little costumes and I believe goes trick or treating. I'm not judging, because I don't think this is a "cross to die on" so to speak. But with some things that are in stores and shows and movies on TV and Ryan and I's very different growing ups, we have discussed our take on Halloween and Ryan's mom asked about it.

Our kids will not go trick or treating, we will not celebrate Halloween and we will definitely not take part in anything creepy. I still remember stories my brothers told me in the spirit of scaring on Halloween. (They got in trouble of course but teenage boys will be what they are.)
I had nightmares for years as a young child. I had to have a very specific night time routine that consisted of prayer time with my Daddy, (usually holding me in his lap and praying over me) a tape of my Nonnie reading scripture and peaceful stories, and the light still on. I went to bed an hour earlier than my other siblings so that I was asleep by the time my sister came on and needed to turn of the light and the tape to be able to get to sleep herself.
I don't blame my bad dreams on Halloween but it certainly does provide plenty of material for nightmares. I've always been real sensitive to dark things and maybe that's some hidden spiritual discernment that God gave me to help balance out some of my naivety.

Whatever the case, I was never upset about not going trick or treating, other kids costumes would have scared the bejeesis out of me! (Heck I didn't even like being down stairs when they came to our door for candy!)

I did however LOVE an excuse to dress up as some beautiful princess of a far away land and we did that in the fall time at church festivals and outreaches where no one dressed as anything scary and what we were celebrating was The Harvest time! Not dead things and evil spirits!
But I dressed up more times not related to Halloween too. I dressed up until I was a teenager! :) And this aspect, and the celebration of the fall time, "The Harvest" The Bible refers to so often, THAT I'm okay with.

Ryan and I both agree, in situations like this, err on the side of caution. Don't mess with evil spirits or anything that seems to be more of Satan or the world than of Christ.

So that's how I feel about that!

Weekend Review

- Recently my sweet Husband suggested we go to Starbucks for a little date and discuss how we are going to do things better once we get back home to Austin. Particularly when we get back into our home. We have both said that we want to be way better stewards of God's blessings than we were before, so unaware of all that we had. It was a great date!

- Ryan spoke with our renter yesterday and it sounds like we've worked out that we can move back in to our home in December! Steve, (the renter) is beginning his search for a new place and as long as he can have his deposit back from us in time to give it to his new place, he is fine with it, however there is also the matter of him actually finding a place before December 22nd so I don't feel like it's a sure fire thing just yet. I'm still praying. Scott took a picture of our backyard the last time he was there to mow and it has made an amazing recovery!

- We got to spend some good time with Ryan's mom, sister, and niece this weekend and we had a good time! Of course we discussed our move and they were understanding but disappointing. Allison had begun to get used to seeing us the whole time she's in town as we live just down the road from her house here in Cypress and Melissa noted that since we've been in town Allie asks for Ryan and I about 3 times a week.
We have gotten closer to that sweet little girl but not that these relationships have been strengthened, moving back to Austin won't change things too much. We will do better about keeping in touch and exchanging pictures and making visits (When Hannah Kate is well adjusted to life... and the car.)

- A while back, we went to an outdoor shopping center in Sugarland with Melissa and Allie. Ryan decided he wanted to be in charge of Allie and let us girls do a bit of shopping. To keep Allie occupied when she got a little fussy he pointed out acorns and they sorted a bunch of them into piles. I am so proud of my hubby! He got creative and the activity he taught her is a great manipulative to help her grow. Unfortunately she doesn't like to leave the acorns when it's time to go, and apparently she hasn't passed up noticing acorns anywhere since. So in Mima's houses and Melissa's there have been acorn collections and suddenly little white larva worms began to appear everywhere.
"They are coming from the Acorns!" we figured out. I pointed to the little holes in the tree nuts and Allison asked me how I knew that's what made those holes and that's where they were coming from.
My answer? "I was homeschooled!" Haha

- I am so excited about meeting Hannah Kate! 17 weeks seems so far away! But then, it doesn't seem that far at all! What with holidays and moving and birthdays and showers and before I know it she will be here!
I can't wait to be back home! She will get to know Makafui and Sophia and all her aunts and uncles and we get to go back to sweet Doctor and nurses who helped us through the most difficult journey in our lives!

- Today I'm going to Macy's with some Macy's Money my mother in law gave me. I am in desperate need of maternity pants. I only have one pair of jeans that fits right. I have lots of tops and a good amount of dresses but I'm hoping to find another good pair of jeans and a good pair of black slacks.
Yesterday I bought this Liz Lang maternity dress from target for only $14! I'm going to the Houston Opera next Tuesday while Ryan is at school with an old friend of mine. I'm planning on dressing this up for the occasion.

- This week cannot go by fast enough. Thursday I'll be baking up a storm! And Friday we get on the road for a fabulous weekend in Austin, and just like last time, the weather will be superb!

Thursday!

Thursday is the mark of the last long day before our weekend arrives. I typically spend Thursdays grocery shopping, cleaning, doing laundry, cooking up a big meal that makes left overs and any other task that makes me feel productive and produces more organization in our living space.

Yesterday I got a head start by going through all of the clothes we have here at the apartment. Everything hanging up, everything in the drawers, and even the off season items in boxes.
We got rid of A LOT!
I noticed I had a lot of stuff from high school which I guess being 23 that's not really THAT bad, but several items were faded, a little too skimpy, a little too young, or just wouldn't fit a new mommy.
So we not have two small bags and a BIG overflowing box of Goodwill donations. And it makes me so happy to know that we will not be moving any of that back to our Home in Austin.
That felt SO good I decided I want to go through EVERYTHING like that and try to cut things nearly in half! So we went through our movies and got rid of anything we deemed unwholesome or simply boring, today I am going through a huge suitcase full of books, and by happenstance we have gotten rid of a whole box of kitchen things! (Nasty Bug Infestation on that one.)

I love the feeling of getting rid of junk. It makes my life feel cleaner! And it's not just because we are moving... I'm ahead of the game there because we've got two months, but still!
We are already receiving things for Hannah Kate, Christmas is coming up and after that Ryan and I both have a birthday in January and we will have showers for Hannah Kate.
Just a few short months after we move we will have collected a lot of new things, and I am no a hoarder. I grew up with a wise and organized Mommy who taught us to clean out our closets before Christmas. Make room for the new by getting rid of the old.
And even new stuff I am getting more choosy about. We all have those sweet people in our lives who give us very thoughtful gifts but those gifts never really have a place in our home for one reason or another. Well, Ryan and I both had a hard time getting rid of those things when we first got married because they were gifts! But if a year later they are in the same closet, it wouldn't have mattered if we did something with it a week after we got it.
We have always been on the same page about not allowing our children to become materialistic in this age of so much stuff, so we are starting before Hannah Kate even gets here. If we don't use it more than we store it, it doesn't have a place in our home. (With a few small exceptions)

Well, time to start my day! I'm off to the store.

Coming Home - Hurdles

Ryan had several conversations with people yesterday and we did a lot of thinking and research. The biggest hurdle has been cleared! The Austin Union WILL allow Ryan to finish his 3rd year of school out in Austin!
Another hurdle that seems mostly jumped is that Austin Johnson Controls said they would take him back, it just has to be cleared by higher authority, which I'm not seeing being a problem but we would still like a full and confident yes on that front.

Here are some other hurdles we are looking to tackle and in prayer about:

- Ryan is going to sit down with Houston Johnson Controls to explain the situation to them. We need them to be understanding and helpful because there is paperwork involved in transfers where both Houston and Austin branches need to communicate to get Ryan back to Austin.

- Timing! Technically our rent here is up mid to end January, but due to semester timing and saving all time off for Hannah Kate's arrival, we need to plan on moving the weekend before Christmas. So we are going to sit down with the apartments and see what we might be able to negotiate.

- Housing! We have a renter under contract until mid July. Ryan spoke with him last night about breaking the lease in December and he is considering it. This would be the best thing as Hannah Kate is due in February and being able to break the lease and move home would cut out a move and mean we get all of our stuff settled in one place and have our massive back yard for the dogs which will make my new mommy life SO much easier. Not to mention only setting up Hannah Kate's room once!

- Doctors. This wouldn't keep us from moving home but it IS a part of the transition. I am planning on calling my insurance and possibly an OB today to see about money that we have already paid towards our delivery if we were to switch OBs. As soon as we have fully confidence that we can move back home I will switch back to my OB back in Austin and just plan trips to Austin to go to my appointments until we move back home. This is more a complication that I'm praying will be a smooth transaction.

-Moving Expenses! Moving is not cheap! Even when you do it yourself. And we are going to have to move from 3 different locations here in Houston back to Austin all in one day. We are already working on our financial planning to be ready for a big move but renting a truck and paying for all the gas and having to get internet and electricity and all that set up again is money out of pocket. So we are planning accordingly but praying that God would give us wisdom and discipline to save as much as possible between now and then, as well as really good deals on uhaul etc.
(I also applied for two different short term nanny positions that just run from the beginning of November until about the time we would pack up and move. 8 weeks of being a nanny right before all the craziness would help us SO much financially so I'm praying for one of those to come through!)

So this is where we are. It's not easy but it will be so worth it to be back home by Christmas! I have missed my home so much! And I'm not talking about the brick building in Pflugerville. I mean the familiar areas, the sites and smells. MY FAMILY, my friends, our church! Everything! I cannot wait to get back!
I know there are still things we have to get through to feel fully confident that we get to come home but... Thank You Jesus, for making a way for us to come home!!!

Roadblocks, Reevaluation, & Renewed Life

Well, What a week! We have been searching for a more permanent home for our family here in Houston since August. We have put offers on nearly 10 homes! We were told "yes" on SEVERAL and they all fell through. Everywhere we turned we were met with roadblock after roadblock and they were all different! Some issues we had were with banks due to foreclosures or short sales, other issues were with the actual seller or other people with better offers, and then we started having real issues with our own realtor. All of this hardship in looking for a permanent place made us stop and pray and consider, maybe God is telling us to wait and listen.

That's what we did. We began praying, and considering what other options God may be trying to show us. And the less time, energy, and emotion we spent on looking for a place to live, the more time we spent talking openly with one another and really exploring what God's will is for us.
We have learned through good advice, good literature, and life experiences, that God rarely spells things out for us in letter soup or something. So we go back to what we know about God and what we know God's will is for all His children, and began examining our lives since we have been in Houston.
What we realized, when we allowed ourselves to be brutally honest is that our quality of life has decreased. We see each other less due to commute and school starting later here, the traffic is a huge stress for Ryan and the isolation has been a major source of anxiety for me. We have tried earnestly to plug into a church and find friends and that too has been one disappointment after another, draining us of energy. And all the added stress of everything that comes from living here has taken away from our marriage.
With Hannah Kate on the way we realized that if we have given it everything we have, and this is our quality of life... it's not the place for us.

HOWEVER, we do not believe that our move here was a mistake. Ryan and I both believe God was teaching us several good but hard life lessons all in one, before our first child arrives. Lots of good growing up, spiritually and just maturity wise.
We both miss our home and family and friends and church back in Austin. We know where we will stay (mostly) we know what church we will go (back) to, we will instantly reconnect with family and friends and those all seem like open doors to me!

Even just thinking about going home gives me a renewed frame of mind. I have been fighting off so much fear and anxiety about having my first baby so far away from the support I always pictured having!
And not ALL of that anxiety has left me as, to make that happen, the union back in Austin has to let Ryan transfer back in the middle of a school year, which, because they are a union, isn't looking so great. He makes the call tomorrow and we are just praying our butts off!
I really want to have Hannah Kate back home!

Here's hoping... and more importantly, praying! God can do big things! God does big things!

"Feels Like Home"

This weekend Ryan and I got to go down to Austin. The first time together since we moved back in June. The weather was absolutely PERFECT for October, and a rarity in Texas. Driving down 130, passing out Pecan Street exit and then the Kelly Lane exit and out shopping center etc, was very strange after being gone even only several months. And in Mom and Dad's neighborhood there are what feels like a hundred new homes and features!

My mom and sister and I spent Saturday registering Hannah Kate for all the fun and lovely things she will need. I think I look at my registry every day just to go over what I have picked out for her and imagine what it will be like when she is here.
Ryan and I are both getting so excited and it is SO precious to me to see how excited Ryan is to meet her! The other day he said "Come out Hannah, I want to see you." I had to remind him that we don't want her to come until February because she has much more baking to do but we are officially on the other half of the waiting game at 21 weeks. Just (about) 19 more weeks to go. But I do LOVE his Daddy heart and enthusiasm and I loved seeing him with his little niece and nephew. He loved seeing them!

But while we were out shopping for Hannah Kate, getting a girly lunch, and finding fabrics for Hannah Kate's custom designed crib bedding, Ryan was out with his best friend Scott, enjoying the amazing weather with some baseball and a man lunch. It was good for him!

Saturday afternoon we got to visit with Joe and Sara and Sofia and Joe and Ryan talked shop a bit. Work stuff and family/dad stuff. Joe asked Ryan a little about the permanency of his Job down here in Houston and if we plan on moving again. To which Ryan said: "If we move again, it will probably be down here."
This made my heart glad! I have been trying so hard to be content here and find good and joyful things about God's plan for us here but I never allowed myself the glimmer of hope that it might only be temporary. That maybe we will end up back home in the Austin area.

Sunday morning was relaxing and brought up some incredibly awesome conversations with my mom and dad and Ryan and I got excited for our future, and our growing little family. When Mom and Dad went to church we got ourselves some Starbucks and had some of our own really good conversations and decided we are not going to sell our home in Pflugerville.
It has been such a burden and stress to find a home here for the start of our family. And if we do decide to move back home, we have a place for us there. So my prayer is that God supplies the right renters until, (Lord Willing!) we get to make it our own again.

Ryan's job and education here are such a blessing and that plus the growth as individuals and in our marriage has been great. It hasn't been easy, or fun, but we are seeing good fruit. I do not doubt that this is where God has us for now. But once Ryan is done with school and is officially a journeyman, and we may have baby number 2 on the way, our options are open, and back home sounds like a good place to go from there!

After our lovely time at the Pumpkin Patch and getting to see Jeremy and Avery (Who make a stunning couple!) Ryan and I got back on the road. And as we passed by Pflugerville again I simply noted: "This is wonderful weather. This weekend has really made me miss it here. My whole family loves this time of year and relishes this kind of weather. This feels like home." I was not lamenting, just cherishing! And to my surprise my sweetie replied: "I miss it here too. I guess it is true, you don't know what you have until it's gone. But I think it helps that everyone in the family is now in a pretty happy, pretty healthy time in life."
Our conversation went all over the place after that and Ryan went on to tell me that he really does love Houston and I wouldn't expect anything less. I think the reason why I love Austin is because I grew up there, and most of my family is there. Why wouldn't Ryan feel that way about his hometown?

And we both agree that if we moved back to Austin in 3 to 5 years it wouldn't be because Houston didn't work out! It would be because that was the length of time our family needed to be in Houston! If not for the extreme growth in adulthood right before our first baby, or the most excellent teaching, training, and experience Ryan is getting as he works towards becoming a journeyman.

I just feel refreshed and patient and strong knowing that we may be going home, at least what I call home, sooner than I ever allowed myself to think.  :)

Happy October!!!

I LOVE this time of year! I want to wear sweaters that are orange and red and mustard yellow! I want to be outside in the mornings and evenings when it's like 70 degrees! I want to see pumpkins and taste apple carcinoma and pumpkin spice type treats. Mmmm!

Hannah Kate loves this type of stuff too! I've only actually felt her move inside of me twice until last night. I think I felt her two or three times last night alone! She must know we are going to see Gigi and Pops this weekend! :)

I got to talk to my big brother yesterday and that was very nice, we should do that more! But he's a very important, very busy person!

I have Christmas gift ideas pretty well planned out, and have already set aside gifts for my oldest brother, and my sister, her husband, and little M. I'm gonna say that's pretty good progress considering the lack of wish lists that need sent out!

My Bible Study is AMAZING! Now, I don't like to make infamous normal people like me, especially biblical teachers because the Bible talks about that, but I am really enjoying Beth Moore's study on James. And she was in Starbucks right before study. Apparently she has an office in Houston. I didn't see her, some other ladies did but it reminded me that, even if I had seen her, I wouldn't care. Just like I wouldn't really care if John Piper walked right up to me and asked for directions or something. Now if Jesus were in Starbucks, that would be a whole different story!
But anyways, this James study is SOOO good and I LOVE the structure and accountability of the workbook and homework. For me, daily Bible reading easily becomes a task to check off a list. When I have a work book with thought provoking questions, several verses to explore, and lots of writing to do, I really feel like I had a good quiet time!

I LOVE planning out Hannah Kate's room! It's proven to be a challenge with the furniture and limited funds but i get so excited to think about the time actually being here when the room I've had in my head for so long gets to come to life! ... if only we can get into a house... LOL

Which brings me to this! I'm going to see the investor house we have been talking about for a while. And if everything works out budget wise we will make an offer. Budgets are hard and there is a lot that affects a mortgage payment and here homeowners insurance is much more expensive than Pflugerville. Plus now there is mortgage insurance that wasn't around when we bought our first home. That adds like $130 a MONTH! So frustrating! But anyway, if we can get this house I will be so happy and be able to relax so much better!

Well, I'm rambling and have plenty to do today so I'll end here.

HAPPY OCTOBER AND FALL TIME!!!

Precious Little Girl!!!

We will be 20 weeks on Monday and we found out we are having a daughter! We are SO thrilled! Just before the sonogram appointment Ryan and I were tallying the votes of boy/girl predictions. And though the majority vote was boy, Ryan said: "Your mom and sister are the only one's who think it's a girl." I responded with: "Yes but my mom was wrong about both Sofia and Makafui." To which he said "Right, which means she's gonna be right about us. You can only be wrong on a 50/50 guess so many times." LOL My husband cracks me up and we both still went into the appointment leaning more towards the guess of boy and were both very surprised! But NOT disappointed! Ryan does hope to be the first out of he and his sister to have a boy but that is still a possibility and he is already so smitten with his little girl!

My confession is that when we first found out we were finally pregnant, I tried so hard not to desire one gender more than the other. I am SO sensitive to the feelings and emotions of children, even unborn, and I never want any of my children ever to feel like they weren't wanted at any time in their lives.
I struggled with this during the early weeks because most of our foster children were boys and I began longing for the frills and curls of a little girl. I wanted to look at tiny dresses and accessories for a baby girl the moment we found out we were pregnant. I was so concerned about being disappointed if it was a boy. I prayed and gave my anxieties to my most gracious God and he assured me with a precious dream that I will love my baby be it boy or girl more than anything in the world. (save my God and my Husband) So in my mind, I was about to be thrilled to work on trees and birds in our nursery but instead I was thrilled and surprised to find that it will be red poppies with all the girly frills!

Knowing that I have a little daughter on the way changes the way I feel about my pregnancy drastically. I don't know if it just hadn't really set in because of the long waiting or the crazy change of atmosphere shortly after finding out or being terrified of losing what we had just gained.... but whatever the reason, SHE is so much more real to me now than ever before and I am so excited!

I went to right down the precious memory of Thursday in my journal and happened across so many pages of despair and heart cries to God for understanding and patience in the waiting part of our journey. Re-reading some of those agonizing entries, recalling the tears, anger, and sadness. The unmet longing in my heart to be a good mommy, like I believed God had called me to be... All of those intense and painful emotions and entries MAGNIFIED my joy and gratefulness of the memory I was about to record. I was overwhelmed with a gratitude that hadn't clicked yet, and with the realization of just how glorious and victorious this baby girl is to us. When Ryan got home from school I was thrilled to tell him about it and he smiled and spoke sweetly to our sweet girl.

To this day I still don't understand why God had us wait, and I still currently live in situations that I know are God's plan for our family but are difficult and make me sad. The difference is: NOW I have the patience and the experience to truly rely on God, and know that He really does love us, and His master plan really is better than anything we could come up with on our own.

19 weeks!

Today we are 19 weeks into pregnancy! I'm so excited because on Thursday we get a little more insight into who our Baby is! Boy or Girl! I am so thrilled because this just makes everything so much more real and exciting! And it means that gender specific shopping and planning can begin! Yay!

Along with that exciting news, we have MORE good news from our Realtor. Down the street from the house we almost got in Fairfield, (the neighborhood we LOVE) is a house owned by an investor that is currently being rented out. The tenant will be out October 2nd and that week we are scheduled to view the house. The investor is planning on replacing all the carpet and painting all the walls before selling, and our realtor thinks we can get granite and back splash in the kitchen as well and buy the home before it ever hits the market! AND keep it in our budget! What's even better is that all the common areas are already tile or wood, and all the bedrooms will have fresh carpet for us! With the painting the investor will do, we will be move in ready, and he says he can get it all done in time for the closing date we wanted! (November 2nd!)
PLUS this house is 500 square feet BIGGER than the one we made an offer on, and has a bigger back yard, and needs much less work!
SO hoping this one pans out! Wouldn't that be just like God to be like "Yeah this neighborhood is great, but there's a better house just down the street for you."

Happy Week!

Life

So we no longer have a house. The offer that was VERBALLY accepted came back with added negotiations, one of which being, the fridge stays for an extra $1000 from us... it's a 2 year old fridge, not worth that much. They also added $1000 to the list price of the house.
Not only was our realtor furious but so was the seller's listing agent. What the seller did was just rude and ridiculous and even the listing agent said our offer was more than acceptable. So We turned down their counter offer and they may come back and accept our original offer but until then, we are back in limbo, waiting. And I'm hoping we can still hang onto our close/move in date even as the days pass. I really want to be settled by Christmas.

That's life I guess. We are hopeful that we will still find a home in this gorgeous family friendly neighborhood and our realtor is confident that we will. But yet again, I find myself waiting... only this time, I find I am more patient. God will provide, just like He always has.

If Jesus, the son of God was born in a manger, which was sufficient for Him, THE SON OF GOD! I know my precious baby will be provided a place. And I know God knows my Mommy's Heart desires, and he cares about them. We are well looked after. Even when the going is a bit rough.

This weekend in Galveston will be so refreshing, and even the timing of this marriage conference is another reminder that God really does have wonderful timing for everything in our lives.

Celebrate!

I am 18 weeks pregnant today! And I have felt my baby move a few times! I have had dreams about the baby being a boy and dreams about the baby being a girl! I started out thinking my Precious is a girl! Then I thought it would be a boy! Now I have 10 days to wait and see and I have absolutely NO idea what gender our baby might be. What a surprise! I just can't wait to know if we are having a son or a daughter and start choosing names and talk to the baby more specifically about more specific things. I'm SO excited.

We got a house! A contract was accepted that we are happy with! We are going to need to find a refrigerator and soon and oven, but we are thrifty! The house is small and simple but has a lot of potential and is set in a neighborhood that to me, is like walking through a fairytale forest! It's SO beautiful! 
Just look at the pine trees in our front yard!

This weekend Ryan and I are going to Galveston for a Marriage conference, and I'm very excited. We are even staying in a hotel! I think it will be so good for us, and we will enjoy it even more now, knowing our home search is over. We really did our research and feel confident we found the right place. We viewed 37 houses! And we traveled tons of neighborhoods and have put so much time into this search. It feels good to take a deep breath and know that I'm going to live in the most peaceful, gorgeous, family friendly neighborhood in Cypress.

Next weekend, we will find out the sex of our baby and do our nursery furniture shopping with Melissa, my sister in law, who has insight on the best places to shop for baby furniture in the area. That will be exciting!

The first weekend in October Ryan and I are going to Austin for a visit! I'm so excited to get to spend some time with my parents and siblings. And to see our little niece and nephew who have grown so much! And to show my Mom and Sister some of my decorating ideas and pictures of the house and neighborhood.

We have a great several weekends ahead! :)

Random Thoughts...

- I think we found our new home! The house is going to need a few little projects to be really what I want but it's not far from it! - The neighborhood of the home we are making an offer on today is like from a fairy tale! It's gorgeous and wooded and has all sorts of trails and parks. We are really buying into the neighborhood than a specific house. - I love this weather! But I hate that our downstairs neighbors can't go 15 mins without smoking up a storm! Don't they have a job or places to be or something? Every time I open the balcony to enjoy the breeze and let the dogs rest out there, I'm closing it again and having to get rid of cigarette smoke in my apartment! But soon, we shouldn't have that problem. - I felt my baby kick last night! I don't know if it was really a kick so much as just baby movement but it's the first time I've ever felt anything like it and I'm so thrilled! - Next weekend Ryan and I will be on the beach in Galveston enjoying a marriage conference get-a-way! - In 13 days Ryan and I get to see our baby again! It's been several weeks since we've had a sonogram and the pictures weren't my favorite. Plus this is the big one! We get to find out if we are having a son or daughter! :) - a few days after the big sonogram, my sister in law is taking me to go look at nursery furniture! Hopefully we will have an accepted contract and a move in date so we can actually get some planning done. - the following weekend my sweetie and I get to visit Austin and family! We are so excited to see our niece and nephew as they grow so much at this time! And I'm excited to work on our baby registry with my mom and sister! - At the end of October we will go back to Austin for another visit to see my Nonnie! - Hopefully November 2nd will be our closing date and we can move in to our new home the next day and get settled before the holidays. - If we do get that closing/move date it really works out that this year Thanksgiving is in Houston so I can keep getting settled and by the time we head to Austin for Christmas I should be done with all the organization.

House Hunting

Well, Ryan and I have basically been looking for a permanent place to live ever since we moved to Houston. With the help of research, discussions, and realtors we decided the best thing for our family on a number of levels is a house. We have been looking for a house for several weeks now and it is exhausting, especially with a baby due shortly after the Holidays. I want to be in a home with everything in its organized place and the baby's room ready and waiting for baby well before the baby is due. We are definately more informed and detailed about our search as we made several fist timer mistakes with our first home in Pflugerville. But that does make the search more difficult. Today we are viewing at least six homes and I am hopeful. Ryan and I don't sleep well in the apartment with all the little noises and details to get used to and the dogs really need the backyard. Plus we would really like to enjoy some of this fall weather in a home, on a porch, or with the windows open. I want to get the packing and unpacking over with and let the home making and baby preparing begin! I can't wait to have a room designated for Baby so we can start thinking about furniture and design and all the fun exciting things about preparing for our first little one! Here's hoping today is the day!