Yesterday we went to a behavior/child psychology class as a part of our Foster Care process. It was incredibly sad, moving, encouraging and insightful.
The statistics of developmental and behavioral problems that are directly related to disfunction in the home are astounding! And the amount of damage that can be done to a child in the first year of their life... Appalling.
See, a baby under 1 year old has very basic needs; food, sleep, cleanliness, and love. When a baby is neglected they stop crying for what they need. They won't cry when they are hungry and they don't learn that someone will care for them. This and even yelling and arguing on a regular basis in the home causes the brain to give off adrenaline and dopamine, the fight or flight chemicals.
When a baby experiences these chemicals the whole brain is focused on it and therefore causes all kinds of developmental delays!
Physical touch is extremely important to babies under a year old! The lack of physical touch itself causes developmental and emotional delays and problems.
This really spoke to me as my love language is physical touch. It really made me want to go back and tell Starry we would be happy to have babies! Just so I could meet those needs that impact the rest of their lives!
We studied scenarios that have actually taken place in foster homes, one of the most common is hiding food in bedrooms and stealing money. This isn't really about being defiant or acting out, it's about security to these kids because they don't know when they are going to be fed next or if they will come across a traumatic event that will make them want to run away from home with nothing but the clothes on their backs and whatever cash they can get in their pockets.
How sad is that? And these are really more of the minor situations we discussed. I won't go into detail about some of the more risqué issues we had to go over but let me just say, a lot of these kids end up with issues because of a lack of boundaries and scenery protection and have seen way more than their young eyes should have, giving them a confused and distorted view of sertain aspects of life.
I am feeling more and more like we are in the right place right now. And am beginning to see clear images of life in our home with foster children and how we might make big positive differences in the lives of these precious children through the power and direction God is giving us!
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Friday, September 23, 2011
A Comfortable Room for Kids
While trying not to allow myself to get to far ahead emotionally with our Foster Care process I do want to be prepared so I have decided how I want to outfit our extra bedroom in preparation to receiving children.
I went with something gender neutral and something I can use to help further little one's education.
This is the bed we want (It allows us to keep our current full size mattress.)
The bed is from Walmart and can be seperated into two beds if desired. Lots of use can come from it.
This is the bedding I've chosen from Ikea!
And of course I'll be bringing in color with the window treatments and sheet sets for the bed and accessories around the room. I found a twin sheet set that is bright orange at Walmart and bought it because it was on super clearance! I may do the bottom bunk in lime green or something.
Here are some pillows with colors I'd use and I would just buy some inexpensive fabric and make them myself!
And then some decor for the walls I think would be fun are this poster print and mirror, both from ikea and both sporting some fun and happy lime green colors! :)
So this is just a little of what I have in mind. I want to bring in some red and sky blue as well and get enough variety in color that any gender would be comfortable in the room. And I'm all about the bright colors because I think they help provide a "Happy Feel" to the space which would be so important to foster children!
I'm getting very excited about our process. My background check came through with a copy of my FBI finger prints from a previous position in child care so I don't have to get my finger prints done again which is great.
I finished the online Foster Medical training yesterday, we have an 8hr behavioral training tomorrow morning, and another training a week from Monday as well as CPR/First aid scheduled for this Thursday!
We are on a roll snowballing all of the things we need to get done to be placed.
We finish up our TB tests and get the paperwork tomorrow as well so we could easily be done with everything required of us by mid October, leaving only the home visits before we get placed.
So our plan to foster children for Christmas may work out after all! =)
I went with something gender neutral and something I can use to help further little one's education.
This is the bed we want (It allows us to keep our current full size mattress.)
The bed is from Walmart and can be seperated into two beds if desired. Lots of use can come from it.
This is the bedding I've chosen from Ikea!
And of course I'll be bringing in color with the window treatments and sheet sets for the bed and accessories around the room. I found a twin sheet set that is bright orange at Walmart and bought it because it was on super clearance! I may do the bottom bunk in lime green or something.
Here are some pillows with colors I'd use and I would just buy some inexpensive fabric and make them myself!
And then some decor for the walls I think would be fun are this poster print and mirror, both from ikea and both sporting some fun and happy lime green colors! :)
So this is just a little of what I have in mind. I want to bring in some red and sky blue as well and get enough variety in color that any gender would be comfortable in the room. And I'm all about the bright colors because I think they help provide a "Happy Feel" to the space which would be so important to foster children!
I'm getting very excited about our process. My background check came through with a copy of my FBI finger prints from a previous position in child care so I don't have to get my finger prints done again which is great.
I finished the online Foster Medical training yesterday, we have an 8hr behavioral training tomorrow morning, and another training a week from Monday as well as CPR/First aid scheduled for this Thursday!
We are on a roll snowballing all of the things we need to get done to be placed.
We finish up our TB tests and get the paperwork tomorrow as well so we could easily be done with everything required of us by mid October, leaving only the home visits before we get placed.
So our plan to foster children for Christmas may work out after all! =)
Thursday, September 22, 2011
What a Whirl Wind!
Well, Ryan and I met with Starry yesterday afternoon and in my opinion it went exceedingly well! We were told that as far as our extensive application and first meeting went, there was no indication that we should have any trouble being placed.
We were given a check list and a new packet of paperwork to take home and work on. Our check list is more than half way finished!
over the next few weeks we will be going to classes/training, getting our home health and fire ready and inspected, going over policies and procedures to sign and a whole lot of important little things. We were told that the length of our applications process is really up to us in the sense that, it is dependent on when we can get everything done. From there we will have two home visits and the paperwork from those has a 6 week time limit so we COULD have children at Christmas!
We will see, it's got a lot to do with when they receive children as well, but I'm still excited! I've gotten a lot done today and Ryan and I may get to check off TB tests and CPR and First Aid training tonight!
God is good! There are so many unknowns in life right now and yet I feel blessed with a sense of peace and confidence in God's mighty plans.
We were given a check list and a new packet of paperwork to take home and work on. Our check list is more than half way finished!
over the next few weeks we will be going to classes/training, getting our home health and fire ready and inspected, going over policies and procedures to sign and a whole lot of important little things. We were told that the length of our applications process is really up to us in the sense that, it is dependent on when we can get everything done. From there we will have two home visits and the paperwork from those has a 6 week time limit so we COULD have children at Christmas!
We will see, it's got a lot to do with when they receive children as well, but I'm still excited! I've gotten a lot done today and Ryan and I may get to check off TB tests and CPR and First Aid training tonight!
God is good! There are so many unknowns in life right now and yet I feel blessed with a sense of peace and confidence in God's mighty plans.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Honestly Me
Well, yet again it's been a good long while since I've blogged, but I figured my readers were few and probably already know what's going on with me anyway.
I'm not sure who all reads this, especially because I haven't updated in a long while, so I just figure I'm gonna document what God is doing in our lives. (myself and my sweet husband, Ryan)
So this is us, our journey as we seek to follow hard after Christ even when we don't understand His will or timing.
This is the honest me, true stories of life.
I guess what's on my mind most as write this is the current struggle/excitement in our lives and it's been going on for several months now but under wraps. And lately I have felt that I'd rather have more prayer than a private/exclusive part of life.
So here it is: This week we are meeting with Starry, a Children At Heart program for foster care. This is something Ryan and I have discussed on and off from the very first few months of our marriage. It went from theory to future to seeking God's will and timing, to scheduling an orientation meeting and filling out a 21 page application.
Now in recent months this has been more of a prayer walk and we believe that God has spoken to us through scripture and prayer that this is what He has for us right now. We don't even know if we will be accepted as foster parents but if we aren't we will know God just wanted us to act on His calling and be willing to serve where he leads. If we are accepted we will undergo 30 hours of training, several interviews and inspections and then be placed with our first foster children and we will be delighted! But I have to admit we haven't always felt that way and even now we are a little anxious about the possible future but know that God will equip us for what He has called us to.
In recent months I have been closed off to the idea of taking care of "other people's kids" and I believe this was do to the combination of too many years in childcare professions with very difficult situations and the fact that I am unable to get pregnant at this point in time.
The road to trying for biological children has been trying and emotional and has provoked me to ask a lot of questions; including "God, what are you doing? Why aren't you granting us children now when that's what I have felt my calling is ever since I was a little girl? What do You want me to do now, while I wait for my babies?"
Though it had to include a complete change of heart, (which God provided in full as I find myself completely thrilled and beyond excited browsing for bunk beds and kid stuff for future foster children,) I feel like God has answered these questions with the leading we feel to foster children.
In discussing this with Ryan we think it might be possible that we are struggling to have children right now because given our plan and our timing and our biological children, foster care never would have emerged from the "theoretical" position it was in when we first got married.
We don't know for sure but we do feel confident that at least being willing and ready and taking the first steps in becoming foster parents is what God is asking from us right now. What comes after is completely in God's hands, as is all of our life, including when we will get to have our biological babies.
This journey has definitely taught me a lot and continues to do so. I have learned and am constantly learning that God doesn't orchestrate life according to what I want but according to His will and purpose which the Bible says is 'perfect'. I am constantly reminded of my natural selfish, jealous, sinful nature and of God's gracious, loving, all-knowing will.
I know He's in charge and I know He loves Ryan and myself and knows what's best for us better than we do and some days that's all the comfort I need, but other days, even in the midst of my joy and excitement at the idea of having foster children for Christmas, I sink into the sorrow of longing for a pregnancy.
At my very core, I am simply human which means I have human emotions that range from ecstatic joy to deep sorrow and for whatever reason, God designed me that way and in the midst of either emotion I will cling to Him and the blessings He's given me in the comfort and encouragement of His word, and family. Both mine and Ryan's.
We are blessed.
And we are both extremely excited about our meeting with Starry this Wednesday! Starry works directly with the Texas Baptist Children's Home where I have enjoyed precious moments volunteering and working with the children there.
Here's to a new week, full of potential and possibilities. I am praying for amazingly huge things this week, not just for myself and Ryan but for my precious family members whom we love so much, that magnificent blessings would reign... And rain, this week! :)
Well, yet again it's been a good long while since I've blogged, but I figured my readers were few and probably already know what's going on with me anyway.
I'm not sure who all reads this, especially because I haven't updated in a long while, so I just figure I'm gonna document what God is doing in our lives. (myself and my sweet husband, Ryan)
So this is us, our journey as we seek to follow hard after Christ even when we don't understand His will or timing.
This is the honest me, true stories of life.
I guess what's on my mind most as write this is the current struggle/excitement in our lives and it's been going on for several months now but under wraps. And lately I have felt that I'd rather have more prayer than a private/exclusive part of life.
So here it is: This week we are meeting with Starry, a Children At Heart program for foster care. This is something Ryan and I have discussed on and off from the very first few months of our marriage. It went from theory to future to seeking God's will and timing, to scheduling an orientation meeting and filling out a 21 page application.
Now in recent months this has been more of a prayer walk and we believe that God has spoken to us through scripture and prayer that this is what He has for us right now. We don't even know if we will be accepted as foster parents but if we aren't we will know God just wanted us to act on His calling and be willing to serve where he leads. If we are accepted we will undergo 30 hours of training, several interviews and inspections and then be placed with our first foster children and we will be delighted! But I have to admit we haven't always felt that way and even now we are a little anxious about the possible future but know that God will equip us for what He has called us to.
In recent months I have been closed off to the idea of taking care of "other people's kids" and I believe this was do to the combination of too many years in childcare professions with very difficult situations and the fact that I am unable to get pregnant at this point in time.
The road to trying for biological children has been trying and emotional and has provoked me to ask a lot of questions; including "God, what are you doing? Why aren't you granting us children now when that's what I have felt my calling is ever since I was a little girl? What do You want me to do now, while I wait for my babies?"
Though it had to include a complete change of heart, (which God provided in full as I find myself completely thrilled and beyond excited browsing for bunk beds and kid stuff for future foster children,) I feel like God has answered these questions with the leading we feel to foster children.
In discussing this with Ryan we think it might be possible that we are struggling to have children right now because given our plan and our timing and our biological children, foster care never would have emerged from the "theoretical" position it was in when we first got married.
We don't know for sure but we do feel confident that at least being willing and ready and taking the first steps in becoming foster parents is what God is asking from us right now. What comes after is completely in God's hands, as is all of our life, including when we will get to have our biological babies.
This journey has definitely taught me a lot and continues to do so. I have learned and am constantly learning that God doesn't orchestrate life according to what I want but according to His will and purpose which the Bible says is 'perfect'. I am constantly reminded of my natural selfish, jealous, sinful nature and of God's gracious, loving, all-knowing will.
I know He's in charge and I know He loves Ryan and myself and knows what's best for us better than we do and some days that's all the comfort I need, but other days, even in the midst of my joy and excitement at the idea of having foster children for Christmas, I sink into the sorrow of longing for a pregnancy.
At my very core, I am simply human which means I have human emotions that range from ecstatic joy to deep sorrow and for whatever reason, God designed me that way and in the midst of either emotion I will cling to Him and the blessings He's given me in the comfort and encouragement of His word, and family. Both mine and Ryan's.
We are blessed.
And we are both extremely excited about our meeting with Starry this Wednesday! Starry works directly with the Texas Baptist Children's Home where I have enjoyed precious moments volunteering and working with the children there.
Here's to a new week, full of potential and possibilities. I am praying for amazingly huge things this week, not just for myself and Ryan but for my precious family members whom we love so much, that magnificent blessings would reign... And rain, this week! :)
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