Hannah Kate is about 9 days old today. Ryan and I are learning a lot! And I've already been challenged with big Mommy decisions and difficult nights.
The first being whether or not to introduce a passifier. I decided to go for it once I realized we have a pretty good breast feeding relationship and only at night as that seems to be when she needs the extra comfort.
The first night it seemed to work really well and then last night she seemed totally uninterested and just wanted mommy every 20 minutes. Every night is different and I'm hoping last night was a fluke and maybe Hannah Kate just doesn't like sushi milk. Lol
Today is Ryan's first day back at work and it also happens to be a school night so it's a long and lonely day and a rather large adjustment to having him home with me. I wish we could both be home more but that's not realistic.
My sweet girl is being extra clingy today which; snuggle time I love, however I've been trying to sleep while she sleeps and i can't do that when she needs to be held all day. I've gotten a few good minutes of sleep though.
We are working on teaching Hannah Kate the difference between night and day. She has them backwards but right now we are just focusing on what is typical for her age. We don't want to rush or for e anything that she isn't ready for just for our convenience.
I'm learning so much as a Mom. I knew it wouldn't be easy and I knew I would love it but it's still so surreal to look into my daughter's beautiful face and see features of myself and my husband and so much innocence and love.
She is the most precious thing!
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Monday, February 18, 2013
Dates
Well, today is Hannah Kate's Due Date! (Though technically our OB ended up pushing it to Thursday, today is the day we have had in our minds since we found out we were pregnant.)
I'm hoping this little girl decides to show up today. If not; I have an OB visit tomorrow morning and I plan on discussing a possible induction. She seems so ready to come out but just slightly confused as to how to do that. LOL
Thinking about today and our due date has caused me to think about today's date in general. It's February 18th.
On this day last year I took a very disappointing pregnancy test and tried to go about my day as normally as possible. I was a foster mom and an 8 year old boy and a little guy who was turning 1 the following day so I had planned a big 1st birthday party for him and everyone was so excited.
I remember picking up the cake and food and setting up decorations with my husband knowing this sweet little man would be going home with his family in a few weeks and wondered when we might be planning a birthday party for one of our own children.
It was a rough morning and my sweet husband knew how to hold me when I needed to get my cry out and take care of the boys while I got myself together, and be super assertive during the party.
It was a great celebration and our families loved and celebrated little JJ like he really deserved and we had grown to really love him as our own.
Now that he's home I don't know what the rules are of posting pictures of him on the internet so I'll just play it safe and not post any of him but we still have them.
I think he may have impacted us more than we did him. And tomorrow he will be 2 years old! I wonder what he's like as a fully mobile toddler!
After JJ's birthday party we all dressed up in white and headed to a very special Baby Naming Ceremony for my little nephew Makafui.
I was thrilled to finally find out what this sweet little baby's name was but I was also really struggling with my emotions. This was a strong cocktail of emotions from getting another "no" that morning, to knowing that our days with JJ were coming to an end, plus all sorts of synthetic hormones I was on trying to get pregnant.
I was doing okay until my "Kryptonite" was mentioned. The story of Hannah in the Bible. How she cried out to God for a child and after years of waiting God answered her and she dedicated him to the Lord... I was so hurt in my heart that this was the only story in the Bible I would read, trying my best not to be angry with God.
After that I could not control the tears, was super embarrassed and felt horrible but we excused ourselves and once the boys were buckled up in the car and Ryan started to drive away I burst into tears and pretty much cried all the way home.
I have yet to face a more sorrowful journey in my life and today I am reminded just how much can change in one year.
A year ago today I wondered if I would ever have children of my own and how long God would call us to the difficulties of foster care and loving on children who eventually go home and doing the hardest part of taking care of them and having no legal say in what happens to them.
Today my biggest prayer is just that this precious gift; this beautiful answer to my agonized prayers, would just show up soon so I can walk, sit, stand, and lay down without wincing in pain! LOL And to be able to finally hold her in my arms, see her pretty face, how much she looks like her Daddy how much she looks like her Mommy, to kiss her, hug her and love on her like I've wanted to for so long!
If I do make it to my OB appointment tomorrow and they decide I'm far enough along to just have the baby, I think there is something special about Hannah Kate sharing JJ's birthday.
I know it's tomorrow but: Wherever you are, little man, I hope you have a wonderful birthday! That your life is full of love and that you are well looked after!
I'm hoping this little girl decides to show up today. If not; I have an OB visit tomorrow morning and I plan on discussing a possible induction. She seems so ready to come out but just slightly confused as to how to do that. LOL
Thinking about today and our due date has caused me to think about today's date in general. It's February 18th.
On this day last year I took a very disappointing pregnancy test and tried to go about my day as normally as possible. I was a foster mom and an 8 year old boy and a little guy who was turning 1 the following day so I had planned a big 1st birthday party for him and everyone was so excited.
I remember picking up the cake and food and setting up decorations with my husband knowing this sweet little man would be going home with his family in a few weeks and wondered when we might be planning a birthday party for one of our own children.
It was a rough morning and my sweet husband knew how to hold me when I needed to get my cry out and take care of the boys while I got myself together, and be super assertive during the party.
It was a great celebration and our families loved and celebrated little JJ like he really deserved and we had grown to really love him as our own.
Now that he's home I don't know what the rules are of posting pictures of him on the internet so I'll just play it safe and not post any of him but we still have them.
I think he may have impacted us more than we did him. And tomorrow he will be 2 years old! I wonder what he's like as a fully mobile toddler!
After JJ's birthday party we all dressed up in white and headed to a very special Baby Naming Ceremony for my little nephew Makafui.
I was thrilled to finally find out what this sweet little baby's name was but I was also really struggling with my emotions. This was a strong cocktail of emotions from getting another "no" that morning, to knowing that our days with JJ were coming to an end, plus all sorts of synthetic hormones I was on trying to get pregnant.
I was doing okay until my "Kryptonite" was mentioned. The story of Hannah in the Bible. How she cried out to God for a child and after years of waiting God answered her and she dedicated him to the Lord... I was so hurt in my heart that this was the only story in the Bible I would read, trying my best not to be angry with God.
After that I could not control the tears, was super embarrassed and felt horrible but we excused ourselves and once the boys were buckled up in the car and Ryan started to drive away I burst into tears and pretty much cried all the way home.
I have yet to face a more sorrowful journey in my life and today I am reminded just how much can change in one year.
A year ago today I wondered if I would ever have children of my own and how long God would call us to the difficulties of foster care and loving on children who eventually go home and doing the hardest part of taking care of them and having no legal say in what happens to them.
Today my biggest prayer is just that this precious gift; this beautiful answer to my agonized prayers, would just show up soon so I can walk, sit, stand, and lay down without wincing in pain! LOL And to be able to finally hold her in my arms, see her pretty face, how much she looks like her Daddy how much she looks like her Mommy, to kiss her, hug her and love on her like I've wanted to for so long!
If I do make it to my OB appointment tomorrow and they decide I'm far enough along to just have the baby, I think there is something special about Hannah Kate sharing JJ's birthday.
I know it's tomorrow but: Wherever you are, little man, I hope you have a wonderful birthday! That your life is full of love and that you are well looked after!
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Valentine's Day
Ryan and I thought it would be really sweet and whimsical if Hannah Kate was born the day we American's celebrate love.
It's 8:30pm now and even if I did happen to go into labor it would probably be past midnight by the time she got here so I guess it's time to move on from that hope.
I am just SO ready for this little girl to be here! And lucky me so is everyone else! I have been getting check up texts from one of my big brothers, encouragement texts and conversations to Hannah Kate to come out so her aunties can love on her! And her Gigi and Mima are both very excited for her arrival.
And above all her Daddy is so impatient (in the BEST kind of way) to meet his precious little girl.
Valentine's Day is a bit of a bummer when your better half has a long day of work and school and doesn't get home til 9:30pm and you are waiting for a baby to arrive, HOWEVER, it can be very motivating.
In an effort to encourage contractions, I started my day with a long brisk walk, then made a list of things that needed done and got on it. I did all the laundry, cleaned my kitchen and bathroom. Swept and vacuumed the floors, sprayed the outside of our whole house with organic bug spray, made a menu and grocery list, went to the store, unloaded groceries, planned a romantic late dinner with a special Valentine's Day dessert for my hubby and then danced myself silly after watching a youtube video of a pregnant woman who danced herself into active labor.
What came of all of this? A clean house, a finished to do list, a realization that I am a horrible dancer and even worse pregnant, and a few inconsistent and weak contractions.
But it made the day go by a lot faster and I feel very productive. Tired, but productive. And now I'm working on dinner for my Hubby and who knows, maybe by the time all the activities of today are over and I'm ready for bed... THEN Baby Girl will decide to come.
Who knows, in the the mean time, I'm so glad tomorrow is Friday and I get to be with my hubby for the weekend. This close to the end of our pregnancy I feel safer and more comfortable when he's with me. Maybe Hannah Kate does too and she's waiting for her Daddy to be around before she comes.
Happy Valentine's Day!
It's 8:30pm now and even if I did happen to go into labor it would probably be past midnight by the time she got here so I guess it's time to move on from that hope.
I am just SO ready for this little girl to be here! And lucky me so is everyone else! I have been getting check up texts from one of my big brothers, encouragement texts and conversations to Hannah Kate to come out so her aunties can love on her! And her Gigi and Mima are both very excited for her arrival.
And above all her Daddy is so impatient (in the BEST kind of way) to meet his precious little girl.
Valentine's Day is a bit of a bummer when your better half has a long day of work and school and doesn't get home til 9:30pm and you are waiting for a baby to arrive, HOWEVER, it can be very motivating.
In an effort to encourage contractions, I started my day with a long brisk walk, then made a list of things that needed done and got on it. I did all the laundry, cleaned my kitchen and bathroom. Swept and vacuumed the floors, sprayed the outside of our whole house with organic bug spray, made a menu and grocery list, went to the store, unloaded groceries, planned a romantic late dinner with a special Valentine's Day dessert for my hubby and then danced myself silly after watching a youtube video of a pregnant woman who danced herself into active labor.
What came of all of this? A clean house, a finished to do list, a realization that I am a horrible dancer and even worse pregnant, and a few inconsistent and weak contractions.
But it made the day go by a lot faster and I feel very productive. Tired, but productive. And now I'm working on dinner for my Hubby and who knows, maybe by the time all the activities of today are over and I'm ready for bed... THEN Baby Girl will decide to come.
Who knows, in the the mean time, I'm so glad tomorrow is Friday and I get to be with my hubby for the weekend. This close to the end of our pregnancy I feel safer and more comfortable when he's with me. Maybe Hannah Kate does too and she's waiting for her Daddy to be around before she comes.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Monday, February 11, 2013
Patience...
Well, obviously my last post was not the last pre-baby post.
I'm not gonna lie, I'm discouraged. Not in my baby or just because she isn't here yet. My body is totally tricking me and I'm feeling a bit jerked around.
Twice now I've had some episodes of some pretty powerful contractions and was hoping to go into real labor and it didn't happen. The first episode happened all night long with several early labor signs and nothing came of it but a very tired and very large mama the next morning.
We have been on long walks, I have bounced myself silly on an exercise ball, Ryan has tried acupressure massages and we have even prayed that this baby would come soon.
I know it's easy to look at my situation and judge me or say what I've heard from pretty much everybody... "She will come when she's ready"
But my feelings of impatience are not just about wanting to meet my baby. I'm beginning to get concerned....
See; I have a very short torso and I am getting bigger and more sore and tired and uncomfortable every day. Normal tasks are very uncomfortable and by bed time every night my ribs, sternum, pelvis, and back are all very sore and I'm very tired but tend to get very little sleep. This is concerning because I'm very aware of the marathon of birth ahead of me and I want my body to be prepared not already sore and worn out.
Everyday tasks are difficult and uncomfortable but I'm determined that today my house needs to be put back into order. (We tend to REALLY enjoy our weekends around here and don't pick up much, especially when we both think we are having a baby.)
But I want all the laundry done and the house nice and clean and then maybe, just maybe, Hannah Kate will feel ready to come out.
I really didn't want Ryan to go to work this morning. He didn't want to either, but there is still hope that we will have a baby before he has a long day of work and school to separate us.
I know people say this is the easiest way to carry a baby... I tend to disagree. I'd much rather my arms be tired than have so much of my body be so incredibly sore and sensitive.
Here's to hope in a new day, a new week, and hopefully, (Please Jesus!) a new baby!
I'm not gonna lie, I'm discouraged. Not in my baby or just because she isn't here yet. My body is totally tricking me and I'm feeling a bit jerked around.
Twice now I've had some episodes of some pretty powerful contractions and was hoping to go into real labor and it didn't happen. The first episode happened all night long with several early labor signs and nothing came of it but a very tired and very large mama the next morning.
We have been on long walks, I have bounced myself silly on an exercise ball, Ryan has tried acupressure massages and we have even prayed that this baby would come soon.
I know it's easy to look at my situation and judge me or say what I've heard from pretty much everybody... "She will come when she's ready"
But my feelings of impatience are not just about wanting to meet my baby. I'm beginning to get concerned....
See; I have a very short torso and I am getting bigger and more sore and tired and uncomfortable every day. Normal tasks are very uncomfortable and by bed time every night my ribs, sternum, pelvis, and back are all very sore and I'm very tired but tend to get very little sleep. This is concerning because I'm very aware of the marathon of birth ahead of me and I want my body to be prepared not already sore and worn out.
Everyday tasks are difficult and uncomfortable but I'm determined that today my house needs to be put back into order. (We tend to REALLY enjoy our weekends around here and don't pick up much, especially when we both think we are having a baby.)
But I want all the laundry done and the house nice and clean and then maybe, just maybe, Hannah Kate will feel ready to come out.
I really didn't want Ryan to go to work this morning. He didn't want to either, but there is still hope that we will have a baby before he has a long day of work and school to separate us.
I know people say this is the easiest way to carry a baby... I tend to disagree. I'd much rather my arms be tired than have so much of my body be so incredibly sore and sensitive.
Here's to hope in a new day, a new week, and hopefully, (Please Jesus!) a new baby!
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Progress! Ready for Baby!
Well, according to my Dr we are making great progress in Hannah Kate's arrival! I was told there is at least a 30% chance that she will be here by Wednesday! And if not by then, within the next few days following! I am hopeful! I would love to celebrate Valentine's Day with my husband and our sweet baby girl, so if she happens to come before or even on Valentine's Day I will be over the moon! I'll be thrilled no matter when she comes but I am definately encouraged by this forward progress.
I love spending quiet time in Hannah Kate's room. Her crib mattress came so the bedding fits better and the room finally feels complete! It's so beautiful and happy! I am so blessed by so much! I'm just soaking up every moment and thanking God for family close by, wonderful health care, my amazing husband who is just as excited and anxious to meet our girl as I am, our lovely home, our silly dogs, (one of whom is also excited for the arrival of a new human in the home!) our awesome church, new small group and ever growing list of new friends. God has just blessed us so richly and I don't want to lose sight of the joy he has given us in all of this!
Here's to this possibly being my last pre baby blog post! (probably not but I can't help but wonder.) from here on out I will be praying for an uneventful delivery that results in a healthy baby and healthy mama! :)
I love spending quiet time in Hannah Kate's room. Her crib mattress came so the bedding fits better and the room finally feels complete! It's so beautiful and happy! I am so blessed by so much! I'm just soaking up every moment and thanking God for family close by, wonderful health care, my amazing husband who is just as excited and anxious to meet our girl as I am, our lovely home, our silly dogs, (one of whom is also excited for the arrival of a new human in the home!) our awesome church, new small group and ever growing list of new friends. God has just blessed us so richly and I don't want to lose sight of the joy he has given us in all of this!
Here's to this possibly being my last pre baby blog post! (probably not but I can't help but wonder.) from here on out I will be praying for an uneventful delivery that results in a healthy baby and healthy mama! :)
Monday, February 4, 2013
It's The Little Things...
Life is interesting when you are hugely pregnant and overly aware of your pregnancy! LOL
Friday at about lunch time I realized that I hadn't noticed any baby movement. This is very rare for my baby as she moves tons every hour!
I drank a cup of coffee, a very cold root beer and nothing. After a brief call to my Mom I called the nurse line at my OB and left a message. While I waited for a return call I cried, prayed, and made a sandwich.
When the nurse called me back she asked if I had felt any movement and luckily I had but I wasn't very comforted because it was small movements and still very docile compared to what I am used to feeling. She told me to come on up to the office for some reassurance and that's exactly what I got.
We did a sonogram and saw her breathing and moving just fine! The ladies who work at my office are super sweet and understanding and they explained how babies take the swaddle effect in the womb when space gets tight and begin learning infant sleeping patterns so they go longer periods of time without moving.
The cool thing about my little scare is that Hannah Kate was measured again and she is "perfect" by the nurses terms and still measured 6 pounds 14 ounces on Friday so we are most likely preparing for a low 8 pound baby not 9 or 10 pounds (Thank You Jesus!)
So not only was I put at ease about the change in my girl's movements, but I was reminded of what incredible care I have in my OB team, AND was put at ease about Hannah Kate's birth weight.
Now I have more selfish reasons for wanting her to come before her due date. LOL. Mostly being that it feels like my body has simply run out of room to house her and I feel like a beached wale most days. It's uncomfortable for my back to sit. It's uncomfortable for my pelvis to stand, so I lay down a lot which makes me feel terribly unproductive and bored. LOL
I'm hoping this Wednesday's appointment shows some progress towards delivery as this week has been pretty uncomfortable. I'd like for the discomfort to be profitable. Knowing what my body is doing to help prepare for baby makes any minor ache or pain totally worth it!
Friday at about lunch time I realized that I hadn't noticed any baby movement. This is very rare for my baby as she moves tons every hour!
I drank a cup of coffee, a very cold root beer and nothing. After a brief call to my Mom I called the nurse line at my OB and left a message. While I waited for a return call I cried, prayed, and made a sandwich.
When the nurse called me back she asked if I had felt any movement and luckily I had but I wasn't very comforted because it was small movements and still very docile compared to what I am used to feeling. She told me to come on up to the office for some reassurance and that's exactly what I got.
We did a sonogram and saw her breathing and moving just fine! The ladies who work at my office are super sweet and understanding and they explained how babies take the swaddle effect in the womb when space gets tight and begin learning infant sleeping patterns so they go longer periods of time without moving.
The cool thing about my little scare is that Hannah Kate was measured again and she is "perfect" by the nurses terms and still measured 6 pounds 14 ounces on Friday so we are most likely preparing for a low 8 pound baby not 9 or 10 pounds (Thank You Jesus!)
So not only was I put at ease about the change in my girl's movements, but I was reminded of what incredible care I have in my OB team, AND was put at ease about Hannah Kate's birth weight.
Now I have more selfish reasons for wanting her to come before her due date. LOL. Mostly being that it feels like my body has simply run out of room to house her and I feel like a beached wale most days. It's uncomfortable for my back to sit. It's uncomfortable for my pelvis to stand, so I lay down a lot which makes me feel terribly unproductive and bored. LOL
I'm hoping this Wednesday's appointment shows some progress towards delivery as this week has been pretty uncomfortable. I'd like for the discomfort to be profitable. Knowing what my body is doing to help prepare for baby makes any minor ache or pain totally worth it!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)