Here's What's On My Mind Today...

I hate politics and I hate overly opinionated conversations about politics on social media and in public conversations.

I put that pre curser out there because I'm about to address a part of a speech our president made. As I present my opinion and feelings on the matter I want to make it clear that what I am attempting to address is my decision to stay at home with my children. I am not in any way trying to bash our president and I in no way see this as a part of a "Mommy War" or have any negative comments for working moms.

Let me start with what Obama said:
"And sometimes someone, usually mom, leaves the workplace to stay at home with the kids, which then leaves her earning a lower wage for the rest of her life as a result. That’s not a choice we want Americans to make."

USA Today released an article a few months ago with the most recent statistic that only 29% of mother's with children under the age of 18 are stay at home moms.

Our society is not quiet about how it values education, career, and money over being in the home, especially as it relates to women as we strive to "prove our equality" and so it seems wrongly assumed that those of us who do CHOOSE to stay at home are stupid and ignorant of the sacrifices of our decision to stay at home.

Let me just say that this is NOT the case. We have every right to make this decision with our husbands and for our families and this decision is just as valuable and well thought out as the mother's who choose to go back to work.

I personally, have known since I was 9 years old that I wanted to marry a wonderful man, have some amazing children, and spend my time investing in them and our home. I'm living my dream!
I CHOSE not to go into debt for a college degree because I KNEW I wanted to devote myself to my children full time and I knew I wanted to have children young.
I made sure my husband knew this about me and supported that decision within the first two weeks of dating!
We BOTH understood since before we were engaged that we would eventually be a one-income family WITH CHILDREN. And we BOTH valued that decision.
We have always known that because of this personal priority we will never have a lavish life style, but we will always have just enough. (Unless God decides to bless us more immensely than he already has!)
This sacrifice has always been well acknowledged and accepted as we made our decision.
I knew from my teen years when I decided not to pursue a college degree or corporate career that I would lead a very different lifestyle from that which is more common and valued in our society.
This is something I struggle with daily. I have dealt with more comments and situations where I felt my choice was deemed wrong or a waste or unintelligent for one reason or another and am constantly fighting to remind myself that my value and worth is not in a degree or career but in Christ alone and my choice to stay at home with my children is just as valuable as the choice of those who decide to work outside the home.

I am not ignorant. People who don't care to understand why women WANT and CHOOSE to stay at home are ignorant and frankly the idea that the reason women shouldn't have to choose to stay home is because they will make less money seems to indicate that my time with my children is not as valuable or more valuable than money! WRONG!
My time with my children and my CHOICE to make them my career will ALWAYS be more important than a second income or having more money!
And raising them the way my family deems best is contributing to the future of our country by investing in the next generation!

I am PROUD of my HARD decision to stay at home with my kids and I am PROUD of my husband for taking on the role of provider by himself and standing beside me united in OUR decision to have me stay at home.

It is a sad day to me when such an important leader makes such an ignorant statement of an already persecuted 29% of Mom's. Don't make our decision seem forced. Don't make our decision seem wrong or less important or uneducated and don't you dare try to take that decision away.

Okay, it's out, I'm done.

So Much...

I'm not very good at blogging more regularly but things have been pretty crazy lately.

My church is going through Ephesians right now and is in a mini series about spiritual warfare and the armor of God and as such I am seeing a lot of life in a different way, wondering what spiritual warfare might be underlying in the circumstances I'm observing or experiencing.

My husband's sweet family has been through a whirl wind this past week as his step father went to trial for his indictment and verdict. The trial was with a jury and he was found guilty of insurance fraud. We know this to be false but it doesn't matter in the eyes of the law/government. He and his lawyers are working on an appeal but right now it looks like all of his assets will be taken and he will be given a prison sentence in February. This news has just devastated the family and really put Bob on all our hearts. He does not currently have a relationship with God so we are just covering him in the prayer that this would be his "Come to Jesus moment" and we do believe that God is calling to him and things are heading in that direction.

This past week Ryan was on call and worked a lot! The days that he was at home he happened to be very sick which means this 8 months pregnant mother of a 20 month old shouldered a lot of extra responsibility.
I'm also struggling with allergies pretty terribly and am limited in what I can take and my toddler doesn't seem able to sleep through the night anymore.
Needless to say, this Monday rolled around and I am already exhausted and extremely behind in house work.

Then my Monday decided to take a downward spiral when I got a call from my gastro dr that said they finally got all sorts of test results back that pointed to there NOT being a problem after all so they have no idea why I've had a terrible bout of illness in all three trimesters of this pregnancy even though it doesn't seem pregnant related.
I called my husband on my way home from Costco to tell him this news and my sleep deprived, sick, pregnant, mommy brain completely missed the fact that the light I just went through was RED! I got honked at and pulled over by no less than THREE police officers (THANK YOU JESUS AN ACCIDENT DID NOT TAKE PLACE) who were all quite angry with me and didn't seem to care that I was scared, 8 months pregnant and with my toddler and made a mistake! My dad saw all the officers and was worried so pulled into the parking lot to make sure I didn't get arrested or something where he would need to take Hannah Kate! I felt sad and stupid and Lord knows this ticket does not fit in our budget nor does the added stress and time of trying to take defensive driving and making it to a court house with a toddler 6 and a half weeks before giving birth!

THEN I take HK to the YMCA to meet the deadline to sign her up for All About Me for tomorrow and while I'm holding her on my big pregnant hip, filling out the paper work with one hand she leaks through her diaper and pees all over me. No big deal! I hold it together and decide it's much easier to change her and me than having to get her car seat out of the car, take the cover off, wash it, put it back together and back in the car.
At this point I decided I needed a LARGE starbucks drink and my favorite ham and swiss Panini so I go through a starbucks drive through on my way back home and by the time we get there I have drained my fully caffeinated, full of fat and calories drink and save my special sandwitch for after I get HK down for a nap.
I go into my house and find my psycho dog decided to play like a toddler while I was gone and scatter HK's toys and two packages of clean diapers all over the floor! (such clutter!) The dishes are overflowing from my sink onto my counter, the dishwasher needs unloaded and messes all over my house are just screaming at me.
My toddler was wound up and took forever to finally go down for her nap but when she did I went to my room, sat on my bed and took a bite of my special lunch.... which was NOT what I ordered!
This was turkey with something sweet and a bunch of yucky red bell peppers! NOT what I wanted!

My back hurts, I have to pee every 10 minutes and I feel I will never get on top of my crazy to do list.
This is a Monday for the records!

But.... God is bigger, tomorrow is a new day, and I can do this!

Parenting

The past week or so has been somewhat of an interesting experiment and a whirlwind of exerted energy from this pregnant mama! :)

My sister began researching certain personality traits of highly sensitive and spirited children after speaking with a friend of hers and my curiosity led me to do the same.
Hannah-Kate is definitely not considered a Highly Sensitive Person but her mama sure is! Ha! Imagine that! ;)
But my research on trying to better understand my child and how she thinks led me to try to discover what is behind her extreme physical/tactile behavior. And let me stop right here just to be clear, I was and am in NO way searching for a label to put on my child to make myself feel better as a parent. Nor do I even really think she fits the bill of any one "label" or "Personality" I was and am simply trying to be sure that as we move more into training, teaching, and disciplining Hannah Kate, we are not breaking her spirit or trying to change her personality or individuality and so that leads me to try to understand what is behind her behavior. Why she does the things she does.

AND... My research has been magnificently helpful. For whatever reason, my daughter has a deeper and more intense need for tactile/physical sensory input and output.
This week after reading signs and symptoms of this intense need I began to see the difference between tantrums and sensory need melt downs.
Here's the difference:
When HK is upset that she can't have her way or being your ordinary toddler with ordinary frustrations she will fall to the floor and throw a whiny fit for a few minutes.
When she is in need to extra sensory activities she is fussy and takes to impulsively hitting a toy against the wall. Even the toy slamming against the wall is helping that sensory input in a small way. The impact, the vibrations etc.
I started really paying attention to how many times a day my daughter asks to "go bye-bye" or play with playdough or bubbles or paint or play outside.
Literally from the moment she wakes up she is asking for one of these things.
I changed my perspective this week from seeing these as childish desires as more needs in her life. I looked up activities and crafts and set out to do several each day.
I stopped telling her not to do things like clearing off book shelves and dumping all of her toys out or making other messes and simply focused on helping her learn to pick it all up when she's done.
I started some "toddler massages" to help her calm down and really focused on understanding her and why she does what she does and the affection and outpouring of both of our hearts trying to work on the same page has been astounding. She even started sleeping better both during naps and at night!

I'm going through a parenting book in my ladies Bible Study that I'm kind of having a hard time with because it doesn't seem to leave room for this kind of thing. I feel like we really need to feel confident that we know and understand our children before we go about trying to shepherd and discipline them.
My daughter's extreme need for physical and tactile input is taxing and downright exhausting some days, and I do run out of ideas and energy sometimes to keep her sustained and I'm going to be honest, I'm anxious to have several plans in place for how to keep giving her what she needs when her little brother arrives but I LOVE this about her. She is intense and passionate. Her passion for her desires and needs and her zest for life comes from her Mommy. And her tactile and physical learning comes from her Daddy.
And knowing this about her early, and preparing ourselves for homeschooling makes me feel like we have already rescued her from being wrongly labeled and misunderstood in today's world. She is unique, and has a very special personality that I want to cultivate and help thrive. I don't want to crush her spirit, change who she is, or frustrate her with discipline to make my life easier. Having kids is something many people do, and it seems easy in our society.
Loving, training, and raising kids Biblically and as Jesus would, THAT'S hard. But more than worth it!
Understanding Hannah Kate in this special way this week and loving her physical needs as they lead to more and sweeter physical affection has just burst my heart open to grow in love for her more than I thought possible. As I get to see more and more of who she is becoming I just love her more and more.

I'm so thankful for a loving God who not only made us all so uniquely but cares about and understands our unique needs and desires.

I'm excited about figuring out who Levi will turn out to be. I am officially in the final stetch of the third trimester and I am so excited!
This Christmas is just going to be so full of so much joy! I'm not even sure my heart can handle it! ;) (Of course it can!)
I get to see how my little man is measuring and coming along tomorrow! I can tell he has grown significantly. And am pretty certain he is more than healthy based on his kicking activity.
I love seeing him though, I love day dreaming about the day he will arrive and adding him to our little family at my favorite time of year!
My little Christmas present. :)

SEPTEMBER!!!

I love September! It's the start of everything new!
A New Season, New weather! New Bible Studies and Mom groups. New opportunities, goals, and projects!

Friday was my first Mops meeting of this school year and it was great. I'm really hoping to get connected with some new friends and get some great advice and encouragement for everyday living!

Today I attended the first Bible Study at the church Ryan and I have been loving and it was pretty amazing.
There were only 3 other ladies there this time but at least 3 ladies let the leader know they would miss, so more ladies to meet next time! The leader has a 2 year old daughter and the other two moms have two kids each 22 months apart! That's how far apart in age Hannah Kate and Levi will be! And they aren't far ahead of us as both second kids are still babies! I'm really excited for this opportunity as I have been praying and searching for Mom Friends in my stage of life for a while now.
These women were warm and welcoming and easy to talk to. I felt so at ease and am so excited to have this to look forward to every Tuesday morning! :)

I also have new goals to achieve and so far so good!
I am getting back to my novel and my husband is really great at helping me stay productive. I got a new lap top so I can write at the YMCA after my little work outs and before I pick up Hannah Kate and we are establishing some writing and reading time in the evenings after Hannah Kate goes to bed.
My goal is to have the rough draft finished or nearly finished by the time Levi comes!
That's a LOT of writing to do in the next 14ish weeks! But I've been really enjoying it, and this particular book is one I've been trying to write for several years now and this is the farthest I have gotten on it. With my husband helping me keep a good pace and the positive feelings I get from accomplishing each writing goal, I think I might actually finish this venture! And even if nothing ever comes of it, finishing it would be a goal met! And that is accomplishment enough when your other accomplishments include making people! ;)

Diapers, Pull ups and Panties Oh My!

Well, it has been a full week of hard core potty training with lots of messes and ups and downs.
My biggest failure this week has most definitely been my lack of patience and the presence of frustration. This has brought me to tears as I saw it cause stress in Hannah Kate and regression in making it to the potty.
Friday night I sat in my bubble bath lamenting my failure as a Mommy to my husband and he tried to help me think through the best way to proceed. We had a long weekend ahead with my partner here to help.

I began to think about the most difficult or frustrating aspects of our weak and explained them to Ryan.
- I can't get anything done because she will have an accident if I'm not right there with her (She was going naked.)
- We can't leave the house without lots of stress and mess which makes for very long days. (We were using thick training panties when leaving the house, and HK always had several accidents)
- HK has a terrible diaper and yeast rash from the wet panties and just very sensitive skin which is near impossible to treat when she runs around naked sitting all of the floors and sofa and potty.
- But above all I feel like the number one set back was me. I just couldn't seem to handle the emotions as a mommy trying to potty train and I'm hoping a lot of that is pregnancy hormones.

SO, with all of these things in mind and my sweet and patient husband behind me with full support and a long weekend available to work it all out; we decided to move forward in potty training and move forward with an off brand of Pull Ups!

This would make leaving the house a lot easier but still allow HK to learn how to take off and pull up her pants. It also takes the pressure off of both of us to force pottying and stressing about "if it's time to pee pee" and makes it easy it brush off accidents. It ALSO makes it where I can slather HK's little bum in ointment without it getting all over the place. (Not to mention it keeps her more comfortable and helps keep her hands off infected areas.)
I struggled with this decision because of bad reviews about how this delays training and is expensive. However we didn't want to give up and this Mommy was hating the emotional toll on both me and HK so longer wasn't an issue for me as long as we could both relax a bit more.

To my surprise Hannah Kate embraced the "Pull Ups" She seemed more relaxed and confident immediately but didn't stop telling us when she needed to go, in fact she communicated even better. Everyone has been more relaxed and stress free and HK has only had accidents twice this weekend, and that was when she was with Gigi and in the church nursery and she still had successes in both environments! This is the best break through we have had this week with no signs of letting up!
Once her accidents stop nearly completely we will move to the training panties and then the normal cotton ones. Hannah Kate seems to do better in smaller steps rather than drastic changes.

We are ALL very excited about this and feel like we can resume normal activities this week.

In other news!

Hannah Kate met her new cousin for the first time, and she is obsessed with her! She asks to hug her when she is around and says hi to her and "I wudge you Bebe" and lays her head on her little tummy. :) This was SO encouraging to me as HK is a little easily excited and ... well boisterous. We have been working with baby dolls a lot lately to prepare her for her little brother and it seems she is learning very well! She was SO sweet to her baby cousin and likes to talk about her now. She will be so excited to see her again today for her naming ceremony. :)

Potty Training Days 2 and 3 (and other stuff)

I'm pretty sure Potty Training is THE hardest thing I've had to tackle as far as parenting goes.
This has been a very emotional (possibly hormonal) 3 days.

Yesterday felt like a bust, I felt like a complete failure as a Mommy and really just wanted to give up. Hannah Kate had more accidents than victories and stopped communicating about her need to go. I got frustrated and impatient with the regression as day 1 seemed to go so well and unfortunately I failed at hiding that frustration and my poor girl got stressed out and emotional. (I cried about pressuring her and worried about damaging her emotionally.)

This morning I began with prayers of patience and endurance but most of all a light hearted, care free attitude to focus only on the positive achievements of the day and not to be upset by the set backs.

Last night Ryan and I had discussed what might have caused the set backs and it seems it was the underwear that either delayed or completely did away with HK's communication. She seemed very confused and stressed out by it. Especially when accidents happened. It was also worsening a rash we are trying to get rid of so I decided to let her go naked again this morning and she did great.
In the first few hours she had one or two accidents and 6 or 7 victories! But it wasn't long before I noticed some symptoms that made me feel like Hannah Kate might be sick and need to see a Doctor. I waited until nap time and as that drew nearer she seemed to go down hill. Clingy and fussy and very congested, rubbing her face and eyes and falling asleep nearly instantly.

While she was asleep I made an appointment with her pediatrician and packed a diaper bag full of training pants and waterproof covers and also moved one of our potties to the van.

My poor girl has two nasty ear infections and possibly pink eye in both eyes. Two antibiotics later and several stops and tries on the potty and wet undies later; we were back home and at it again. She is doing pretty well and the pediatrician recommended we stick with being naked at home if not just to clear up her poor rash.

Tomorrow I have my mid pregnancy sonogram scan and I WAS going to let HK play at the YMCA and now I'm forced to make a last minute decision about whether or not to leave her based on what her eyes look like in the morning. Its possible it's all just the ear infections, but what if she did/does have pink eye?
AND what do you do with a very active, potty training 18 month old during what could be a long wait and long appointment at an OB office?

oh that we had a trusted sitter who would be willing to come to my house and patiently work with HK on potty training while being aware of her discomfort of ear infections while I go take care of her little brother at my appointment.

We are working on finding a good sitter like that. In the mean time I'm trying to come up with several game plans for the morning.

In other news! ....

I have yet to get sick again and feel like the odd chance of this mysterious illness running it's course and leaving me alone might have actually happened!
Yay!

Potty Training and Other Things

What a Day!

Well, after weeks of watching, listening, and really paying attention to Hannah Kate's "readiness signs" extensive research and encouragement from our pediatrician we decided to take the plunge into potty training! Yes, at 18 months old!

Hannah Kate has been interested in the potty for months and she first started connecting the dots by watching the dogs go out and hearing us use the word "potty" and singing Tank's "Potty Chant" with Daddy. She observed Mommy and Daddy go potty and after a few catches from near bath tub incidents, really enjoyed the "success" of being help over a toilet to poop. From there it just escalated. Her "Potty vocabulary" grew and she began telling us when she had a dirty diaper and when she was going number two etc. She even began adding a bed time trip to the little potty before her bath and was successful every time! After that she began randomly telling us she had to potty and we took advantage and let her try to go on a potty whenever we could, and most times, she did! (Even in Houston this last weekend, without a little potty!)

So; as soon as we got home yesterday at about 4pm, we decided diapers are only for sleep times until we tackle those as well. We put HK's potty in the living room and stripped her down to a t-shirt and began the messy and stressful task of potty training.
She did okay the first night. But given all of her random success and her readiness signs I think I had unrealistic expectations and I felt very guilty for the feelings of frustration I had.
After a long bath and more reading/research about potty training I realized this was a process and I needed to remind myself that the first few days were going to be rough with up and down progress.
I felt better before I went to bed and started today brand new!

The morning went great! We tried a mixture of cotton panties, training underwear and nothing at all. The first few hours were very successful, but after that Hannah Kate seemed to lose interest and had several accidents where she even told me "uh-oh" I held in my frustration and echoed her "uh-oh, let's try to get the pee pee in the potty" I reminded her. At nap time I lamented to my husband a little, and my sister, and was helpfully reminded that this was the first real day of potty training and we were fairing pretty well.

After her nap HK went potty and I put her in training pants with a plastic diaper cover over it and we went to find some books to read about pottying! We brought her potty and I put her on it every time we arrived at a store and before we left. She had several accidents and one GREAT success of keeping her pants dry and going on the potty in the van!

The potty books are really helping and from about 4pm today and on into the evening HK went hours without accidents and lots of successful trips to the potty! We ended on a really great note and I'm feeling very encouraged.

In other news; I realized today that I left my wallet in Houston! We were going to have to drive overnight and back to get it when my Mother-in-law rescued us by asking a friend to run over to her house and get it to have it express shipped to us!
SO glad we don't have to make a round trip to Houston!

AND!!!

I have a new niece! She is so adorable! And I've only gotten to see her once because Ryan was working late last week, and then we went out of town and now I'm homebound to potty train Hannah Kate BUT I get to bring tem a meal Friday night and I hope to get some snuggles in :)

Catching Up / 18 months old!

Okay I fell off the blogosphere!
And doing so led me to realize how much I am NOT documenting! And I want to be able to recall all the fun things Hannah Kate is doing and learning.

She turns 18 months old tomorrow! Her check up is Thursday and then I'll have some stats but she is so darn beautiful and adorable. (Which serves her well because she certainly isn't still, or easy.)
She is fun and funny.
She loves to have people's attention and make everyone laugh. She has an extensive vocabulary but the phrases I hear the most from her lately are "I wudge you!" and "I howed you?" (Translation: I love you, and, I hold you, or basically, will you hold me?)
She has become VERY affectionate although not so much in the quiet snuggling sense as much as the loud and active. She wants to be help so she can force a rocking motion and sing our family song that ends each phrase with tickling, or throw herself back to hang upside dawn out of our arms. She wants to be chased and she wants to climb... on EVERYTHING!
She is a pinball bouncing energetically from one thing to the next leaving little hurricane messes in her wake. She is very girls and seems to exclaim "Pietty!" every time I do her hair or put her clothes on, but she is not dainty, nor is she gentle. She is a rough and tumble adventurer and keeps her mommy on her toes!

She is growing and developing so much and so quickly I think her development, especially in the emotional categories, gets a bit overwhelming.
We are working on age appropriate discipline and praying that God meets us where we are and compensates for our weaknesses and covers our family and parenting with grace.

This last week was rough on us all. After 2 weeks of on again off again illness, I got a really bad spell of it on Wednesday which led to dehydration and premature contractions, and inevitably a trip to the ER. I was quickly sent to labor and delivery to make sure Levi was fine and not trying to come 18 weeks early. He wasn't, and I was given ant nausea meds and IV fluids and sent home, where I ended up sick all night and made arrangements to see a specialist the very next day.
I went through extensive interview questions with the doctor and underwent several blood tests before finally getting home Thursday evening.
Friday morning began with vomiting and I quickly took my Zofran and was rescued by my brother who lives down the street and took Hannah Kate so I could rest.
The weekend was recovery and I spent a lot of a time on the couch but definitely felt like I was on the mend. Today I felt back to normal and was feeling like I might finally be over all this miserable illness when I got my results back from the doctor. It turns out the some enzyme in my pancreas is low and some protein is high and my blood test shows an infection somewhere and inflammation. However because the blood test is so broad they can't pin point what kind of infection and inflammation or where it is in my body or how to treat it without further testing. Testing that they can't do until I get sick again, and given my blood tests, I most likely WILL get sick again... not the news I was hoping for.

Ryan has also been working a lot of over time this summer, so with Mommy being sick and Daddy being gone Hannah Kate sure has been feeling the upset in her normal routine.

But she is so strong and tough and she is bouncing back and hopefully with the foresight of knowing more sickness is ahead for me, I can prepare with hydration, get the tests done and get on the meds again quickly with as little discomfort and family upset as possible... Pray for us...

One Year

I have not been able to stop thinking about all the many things that have happened in our lives as a little family this past year.

Yesterday was Hannah Kate's 1st Birthday! Saturday is her party and I'll post another blog after that but before all the hoopla and celebrations, I've had some quiet moments to play a memory wheel in my head.

I was talking with Ryan about it just last night. About the day HK was born. And yesterday I kept looking at the clock and thinking back to where I was at that specific moment. Even now I still know I was in the hospital trying to settle down for the night... and I can't help but feeling the world is not right; that I get to look back at these precious memories in light of my family's recent loss.

God is so good to love on my family the way he has. And to be so present in Joe and Sara as they rejoice in my sister's pregnancy and Hannah Kate's first birthday. I love my family so much! And am always reminded why and how much I love them when we have to come together because of something terrible.
I see God in so many ways in the lives of my family and those around us. And I am blessed.

Hannah Kate is developing like crazy! She can walk now though she tends to choose to fall towards her target or crawl more than walk.
She LOVES the park and to swing and be outside. And much to Mommy's dismay, her favorite way to explore the world is to taste it! Sand, grass, leaves, dirt, whatever she can get a hold of goes in her mouth!

She is talking a lot more. She says "Mama" "Dada" "Bye-Bye" "Ba" (Bath) Makes lamb/goat noises and proclaims "Ta-da!" as well as imitates most sounds she hears.

Her hair is growing long and thick and curly! It's beautiful and she is getting better and better at sitting through her daily hair-do! :)

She has become VERY affectionate lately and I am just soaking it all up! She loves to give hugs and kisses and pats. She picked up on us patting her back to get her to sleep and to comfort her when she cries and when she is comforted enough she pats my back and giggles. She pats the dogs as she has noticed Ryan and I doing that but she hasn't quite made the connection that people don't like to be patted in the face. Even if you just can't reach their head or back!

I love my sweet baby girl, and cannot believe it has been a year since she was born. Time really does go by so fast! I'm trying to take it all in and not miss anything and I hope keeping up with this blog more frequently will help me do that.

Here's To Hannah Kathryn Anders! Now one year old!

Precious Baby Naomi

On February 7th we were gifted with a brand new baby niece. She entered this world in body only, her sweet little spirit already in heaven with Jesus.
My amazing Sister-in-law shares her story in her blog: Feels Like Home


There are so many questions in my mind to our great God and I know nobody really has those answers.
I have been blessed to see my family come together, lean on each other and grieve together.

My heart aches for my little niece and breaks for my brother and his precious family.
I wish there were words I could say, things I could do... but I know there is nothing.

The siblings created a small reflection area in Joe and Sara's back yard with my parents the other day. My brother Justin felt like the tree we needed in Naomi's honor should be an olive tree. I found the very last one in the area and it is perfect. Justin and Kim found a strong and handsome wrought iron bench and Bethany is working on a plaque for it.
I wish I would have taken a picture. It was beautiful.. It IS beautiful and peaceful just as intended. There is a little dove wind chime in the pot where the tree is that makes a sweet little tinkling song.

Justin had mentioned that Olive trees were full of meaning and symbolism and he was right. I did some research and Olive trees are full of hope, prosperity, faithfulness, light etc. And it's all very Biblical.
But the most symbolic, perfect little picture that I found the other day was straight from scripture.

Psalm 52:8 says:
"But I am like an olive tree, THRIVING in the House of God!
I will forever trust in God's unfailing love"

A Bible commentary I was reading even expounded in this way:
"I am safe and happy, notwithstanding the effort made by the enemy, the informer, to secure my destruction. I have been kept unharmed, like a green and flourishing tree, an olive tree protected in the very courts of the sanctuary, safe under the care and the eyes of God."

This brought me to many tears, feeling as though the words could have come from sweet Naomi. Reminding us that she was taken directly into the arms of Christ, spared completely from the imperfections and darkness that dwells in our world. Completely pure and untouched, unharmed, safe in the arms of our dear Savior.
I picture her there with Jesus. Giggling and smiling, loved even more than we can imagine.

My heart is still heavy as I know many others are as well and we still grieve in Naomi's absence but I am comforted to know that she is THRIVING like the olive tree in the presence of God in Heaven, though forever in our hearts here on earth.

A Quick Recap and Update!

I'm Back!

The Holidays were super busy and them life just got away from my so here is a brief recap!

Christmas in Houston:

We have a new Nephew! Matthew!

Ryan and I celebrated our Birthdays a few weekends ago!

And Hannah Kate is Almost ONE!

This last thing is just so crazy to me! We did same awesome art for her upcoming party this evening and I made a million little sunshine confettis! I'm about to order invitations and food (Yes you can do it that far in advance.) I have all the decorations and matching "Mommy and Me" outfits :) And I'll soon be prepping the house for My sweet Mother-in-law and sister-in-law to stay with us over that weekend. And tomorrow I think I'm going to attempt a birthday photo shoot with my little angel! :) She is SO active and constantly babbling these days. She is getting very good at parroting back similar sounds and words and just growing up so fast in so many ways.
I can't believe it's almost been a year!
Her gorgeous curly hair is starting to lay down and is still as bouncy and curly as ever! Just getting longer! I am thrilled! She is beautiful and just grows more lovely everyday. She is VERY social and quite the performer! She loves to get out of the house and show off all her tricks to whomever will pay attention in grocery stores and restaurants etc.

She is quite the little escape artist! Even buckled in as tightly as possible she can manage to wiggle around and stand up in grocery carts and restaurant high chairs and is even getting closer and closer to wiggling out of her highchair straps at home!
I just ordered a chair from Buy Buy Baby that secures to the table that I'm hoping will keep her contained long enough for meals. LOL
She explores by tasting things and LOVES food! Especially pizza, blue berries, and Greek yogurt!

Well, that's all I have time for right now. I'll get better at updating from now on. I want to be able to look back at all my blog posts as the moments with my precious daughter just seem to fly by!