Parenting

The past week or so has been somewhat of an interesting experiment and a whirlwind of exerted energy from this pregnant mama! :)

My sister began researching certain personality traits of highly sensitive and spirited children after speaking with a friend of hers and my curiosity led me to do the same.
Hannah-Kate is definitely not considered a Highly Sensitive Person but her mama sure is! Ha! Imagine that! ;)
But my research on trying to better understand my child and how she thinks led me to try to discover what is behind her extreme physical/tactile behavior. And let me stop right here just to be clear, I was and am in NO way searching for a label to put on my child to make myself feel better as a parent. Nor do I even really think she fits the bill of any one "label" or "Personality" I was and am simply trying to be sure that as we move more into training, teaching, and disciplining Hannah Kate, we are not breaking her spirit or trying to change her personality or individuality and so that leads me to try to understand what is behind her behavior. Why she does the things she does.

AND... My research has been magnificently helpful. For whatever reason, my daughter has a deeper and more intense need for tactile/physical sensory input and output.
This week after reading signs and symptoms of this intense need I began to see the difference between tantrums and sensory need melt downs.
Here's the difference:
When HK is upset that she can't have her way or being your ordinary toddler with ordinary frustrations she will fall to the floor and throw a whiny fit for a few minutes.
When she is in need to extra sensory activities she is fussy and takes to impulsively hitting a toy against the wall. Even the toy slamming against the wall is helping that sensory input in a small way. The impact, the vibrations etc.
I started really paying attention to how many times a day my daughter asks to "go bye-bye" or play with playdough or bubbles or paint or play outside.
Literally from the moment she wakes up she is asking for one of these things.
I changed my perspective this week from seeing these as childish desires as more needs in her life. I looked up activities and crafts and set out to do several each day.
I stopped telling her not to do things like clearing off book shelves and dumping all of her toys out or making other messes and simply focused on helping her learn to pick it all up when she's done.
I started some "toddler massages" to help her calm down and really focused on understanding her and why she does what she does and the affection and outpouring of both of our hearts trying to work on the same page has been astounding. She even started sleeping better both during naps and at night!

I'm going through a parenting book in my ladies Bible Study that I'm kind of having a hard time with because it doesn't seem to leave room for this kind of thing. I feel like we really need to feel confident that we know and understand our children before we go about trying to shepherd and discipline them.
My daughter's extreme need for physical and tactile input is taxing and downright exhausting some days, and I do run out of ideas and energy sometimes to keep her sustained and I'm going to be honest, I'm anxious to have several plans in place for how to keep giving her what she needs when her little brother arrives but I LOVE this about her. She is intense and passionate. Her passion for her desires and needs and her zest for life comes from her Mommy. And her tactile and physical learning comes from her Daddy.
And knowing this about her early, and preparing ourselves for homeschooling makes me feel like we have already rescued her from being wrongly labeled and misunderstood in today's world. She is unique, and has a very special personality that I want to cultivate and help thrive. I don't want to crush her spirit, change who she is, or frustrate her with discipline to make my life easier. Having kids is something many people do, and it seems easy in our society.
Loving, training, and raising kids Biblically and as Jesus would, THAT'S hard. But more than worth it!
Understanding Hannah Kate in this special way this week and loving her physical needs as they lead to more and sweeter physical affection has just burst my heart open to grow in love for her more than I thought possible. As I get to see more and more of who she is becoming I just love her more and more.

I'm so thankful for a loving God who not only made us all so uniquely but cares about and understands our unique needs and desires.

I'm excited about figuring out who Levi will turn out to be. I am officially in the final stetch of the third trimester and I am so excited!
This Christmas is just going to be so full of so much joy! I'm not even sure my heart can handle it! ;) (Of course it can!)
I get to see how my little man is measuring and coming along tomorrow! I can tell he has grown significantly. And am pretty certain he is more than healthy based on his kicking activity.
I love seeing him though, I love day dreaming about the day he will arrive and adding him to our little family at my favorite time of year!
My little Christmas present. :)