Growing Pains

I've come to the point in my life where I've realized there is no typical growing up.
Everyone is different, and God grows His children in so many different ways.
The hard part is when you go through a growth spurt and some things in your life seem to change all of a sudden.

Let me get real basic in this blog:

I excepted Christ when I was about 7 or 8. I don't remember a whole lot of that experience but I understood that I was a bad kid. I got spankings everyday and I tried to be good, I wanted to please my parents, and out of frustration I came to the conclusion that no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't be good.
My parents taught me that I couldn't be good without Jesus in my heart, and when I understood what being a Christian meant, I accepted Christ as my savior.
But growing up is never easy and never painless. Just like growing physically, growing spiritually, and personally has these dramatic spurts that cause a person pain.
I went through a lot of difficult things; Some I had no control over, and some that were self inflicted, but through that, God has helped me grow dramatically.

I believe that God places people in our lives for a purpose, and that everything happens for a reason, or at least that "God works all things together for the good of those that love Him" (Romans 8:28)
Sometimes we need the people God has given us in different ways, at specific times, but often times if we ground relationships in something that is temporary, we lose our footing when things change.

I have some friends that were very encouraging and helpful to be when my life was... well, basically a living hell. Now granted, I caused much of my own affliction, but still these friends were important to my life. Well, without realizing it the relationship we had ended up being focused and grounded in my miserable train wreck of existence, and their desire to help, and encourage me.
Now, by the grace of God and nothing short of a miracle, I am a completely different person and in a totally different place in life! I'm happy, healthy, completely engulfed in the love I have for my family, surrounded by their love, and walking daily with my precious savior, in the assurance that I am where I'm supposed to be at this moment in time.

Well, that's a completely different picture from before. And along with that change of scenery, there's this new relationship in my life. I'll be honest it's not your typical romance.... IT'S SO MUCH BETTER!
We aren't following the world's depiction of relationships and dating.
After this man has been in our church and in our home for small group for about a year and a half, he went to my dad and asked to pursue a courtship. My dad gave his blessing and this man came to me. Fast-Forward about 3 weeks and we are both amazed and beyond blessed at what God has shown and given us. Our relationship has stayed Christ centered, our goal is to Glorify God, and we both have the desire to be in this relationship for the purpose of knowing if we are for each other in the covenant of marriage.
This whole thing seems a lofty concept for some to grasp, but not for me. I have been shown the amazing power of Christ first hand and I know in my heart that God is bigger than dating, he's bigger than time, mistakes, failures, and fairy tales.

I'm sad that these friends can't see this, that they don't really know how to be my friend in good times, that they can't be happy for me and trust that I am in God's will and in His hands.
My relationship with these friends is changing, in some aspects completely ending, in others, simply reevaluating and changing our foundation.
It's painful to have to grow so much faster than my friends, to realize that God's so much bigger than me, so much bigger than young adult "logic" while these friends seem to be drowning in their frustration with me, and "concern" in where my life is headed.

Despite these uncomfortable growing pains, I remain confident in Christ. I know I am in a good place, and even if my heart aches with the possible end of this relationship, I will stand strong with a smile on my face being so grateful for where God has placed me.
I'm so blessed to have such a family, such a God, and such a man!

Today's Bible reading is in Job, I felt like that was God's humorous way of saying: "Tiffany, buck up, smile, and be grateful for the many blessings I've given you, you have nothing to grieve over, not like my servant Job. Stand strong." At least... that's what I heard :o)

I'm still VERY happy and know I don't deserve what God has given me. I couldn't ask for anything more.
Jeremiah tells me "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you."
I'm good, all is well, and God is in control. (Good thing, cause I've learned that I totally and completely SUCK at controlling my life. LOL)