Spiritual Stuff and Random Thoughts

- Fear has been a hot topic in my life lately. It's come up in sermons, in a Bible Study Ryan and I are doing together, with my mom and sister and in my own life.

- I realized recently that my greatest fear in life is losing a child. I've known some awesome Christian families that have lost children as young as 12 and 16 as well as several families who lost a baby before birth. I pray that God would never let me walk there. And I'm learning to roll that fear over to God when it strikes, and every time I hear of someone's loss... it strikes.

- I'm so grateful for my sweet healthy baby girl. (We may be headed to the Pediatrician today to double check a rash that was supposed to clear up over the weekend but didn't) I'm thankful for good health care too.

- God has really been reaching out to me right where I am in life. I'm finding it hard to sit down and have regular quality Jesus Time with my little one and yet I feel like little things are drawing me to Him. Things like a fairly accurate Bible TV show, a Study Ryan and I can do together and switch off with the Baby. It's a DVD/workbook format. Small group and church are both encouraging and convicting.

- Yesterday Ryan and I took Water, Coke, and Doughnuts around to all the construction workers building homes around us. It's crazy how fast our street is developing. That really helped my attitude about the noise. These guys are hard workers and were very grateful for the treats and it humbled me.

- The Bible Study Ryan and I are working on is bridging a gap between us. It's about evangelism. One of the first exercises was to tell each other the first thing that came to mind when hearing that word. My big hearted husband said "Obedience, making disciples, sharing God's love etc" My answer? "Annoying Solicitation" I know, that's not the kind of response a Christian should have about something that is so clearly laid out in the Bible, I have been jaded by approaches past churches have taken... So this is the gap we are bridging... How is God calling us to Share Him in our daily lives.

- We are getting rid of TV. This is a personal conviction we have discussed and believe is right for us. We don't think TV is wrong and we will continue to watch movies and Netflix but in a limited amount. We want to be more productive when we are together; spend time connecting with one another and our sweet little girl.

- I mowed the back yard this weekend. My husband didn't really like the idea but I had a long week of a lot of just me and Baby and I needed a break. Mowing was not quite like vacuuming the yard like I expected and I felt like I might die from allergies afterwards, but I got a good work out and a better appreciation for what my husband does! :)

- I want to join the YMCA this fall once Hannah-Kate is on solid food and sitting up etc. I see this as a very productive thing for us as Ryan will be back in school after the summer break and I will have lots of time to kill. I also know a couple of cool ladies who have memberships I'd love to team up with.

- I've been thinking about what my role in my family should be... I think God is showing me

- My husband is a hard worker, and a dedicated man. These are great traits that are hard for me to appreciate all the time because it seems to mean I see less of him... working on this...

- What's the difference between being: Loving, Clingy, and Co-Dependant? Where might I fall? ... exploring this...

- Someone blogged about Mom Jeans  :) ... Heck I'd just like to fit in to Mom Jeans... what's worse is maternity jeans when you aren't preggers anymore! Hah!... I suck at losing weight  : /

- I really enjoy time with my mom and sis, if something should happen to change how much time I get to spend with them... I will be sad.

- It's my first Mother's Day this Sunday! :) I'm super excited! It's amazing how 1 day out of the year can go from excruciating to exhilarating. I'm so glad I get to be a Mommy.