Preparing for Marriage

If you are married or looking into marriage please respond.

What is preparing for marriage? What works? Is premarital prep and counseling really about reading books and answering questions?
Honestly I like going through questions with my fiance. It kinda feels like a game!
How do we feel about this that and the other, who takes out the trash, turns off the lights, decorates the house, does the yard (once there is one.) These are great questions! Things you don't want to be surprised by once living together.
But I find myself with a list of books to read that keeps getting longer as people give their input. I don't mind reading, in fact, my job gives me plenty of time to do so but a lot of these books, I'd like to do WITH Ryan and he doesn't have the same availability.
I'm reading my word and thinking constantly about my roll as wife.
I think about how I'm going to cook, shop, do laundry, decorate our living space, respond to Ryan under all possible circumstances.
We've talked about the important stuff, we are CURRENTLY working on finances and discussing where and how we will live in a way that is wise and God-honoring.
But I somehow feel... unprepared.
I feel lonely... I think I'm selfish...
I've never EVER wished to be an only child! I can't imagine life any differently, BUT, when I think about some of the silly times I've had just me and mom and the questions I've been able to ask and the things I've found out...(YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE....) Sometimes when I come home I selfishly expect no one else to be there, for her to be in a happy mood, and for us to be able to talk.
But, I have several brother's and sisters, my mom has a lot on her plate, and sometimes I don't even have anything to talk about, I just feel more prepared to be a wife when I talk to my mommy... That sounds dumb but really it's because she is such a good wife I think I just want her to rub off on me.

In my dream world this is how it works:
Ryan's schedule is predictable and so our planning is so much easier.
I get off work and head home, open the door put my things away and sit down with my mom.
At that point we discuss some wedding planning and then it's class time. We talk about menu planning, grocery shopping, recipes, chores, fun things to do that don't cost money, how to stay on top of a budget, what to think about when planning honeymoon, family planning, etc.
In my dream world my mom does all the work... that's horribly selfish.
I never know when Ryan's going to be home or if he has something planned on the days I see him, I've kind of just learned to adjust to his schedule and I think I'll be better at it once we're married but we're still engaged and I still want time with my family and balancing things out, figuring out what I want and what I need to do to make it happen is hard.
Life is messy, I've never been naturally neat... me and life... make BIG messes.

Here's what I've learned. God places people and resourses in our lives at the right time for very good reasons. How and if we use them is up to us... sometimes the time in which we have these resourses is limited and we don't realize how long we've had them until we almost can't have them anymore... or maybe that's just me... wouldn't be surprised.

Finding a perfect Godly balance to living life isn't easy.
Relating to everyone in a Christ like manner despite how we feel or are treated or what the situation is... whatever... just isn't easy.
I'm human, I get mad, I feel hurt, I don't wanna be just as nice to my friend who's being difficult and harsh, as I do to my friend who's just sweet and easy to get along with.
That doesn't mean I don't love them equally. Or that I shouldn't treat them both with the same amount of love and grace.
God calls us to do hard things... I don't always get it but I'm sure there's some reason for it. ;)

How does one prepare for marriage? Where is the balance between the almost and the not yet. Almost everyone I know who's married went from living on their own to living with their spouse. And that's cool but I want a good picture of living at home and spending time with your family while still giving ample time to preparing with Mr. Fiance.
I want both parties to feel like they're getting enough of my love and attention and I want to feel like I'm getting enough of both parties without offending one or the other or both in the process.

God, you're a perfect God. Neat, organized, all knowing... why messy life? Really? Cant you clean it up and make it a bit simpler?
Or at least just show me how to navigate it.

Married? How's it going? What are the top 3 things you've learned since being married? What was the best thing you did to prepare?
What advice can you give me?