So Hannah Kate had her 6 month appointment today and the pediatricians office staff has FINALLY started calling her Hannah-Kate instead of just Hannah! Woot!
She is mostly in the 50-75th percentile in everything except weight. She's 75-90th percentile there but still very proportionate and very healthy! Chunky in a good way!
She took her shots like a champ and promptly fell asleep on the way home just like Mommy planned! (I always ask for Tylenol before injections.)
Her sleep is still erratic no matter how consistent we are and I'm learning to roll with the punches and work on things one step at a time.
Life lately feels a lot like fighting, or at least like working hard... all the time.
We are working on getting Ryan's business up and running and are in the in between phase where he works his full time job and take side jobs for his business fairly regularly... I'm not sure I remember what a real weekend looks like anymore. I feel like a single parent some days.
I have had so many needles stuck in me in the past ten days it's not even funny and I have another couple of blood tests on Friday before I can schedule another appointment with my Endocrinologist and finally get a real game plan in place to start working on my PCOS.
I have started fighting my Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome on my own by eating a low fat low GI diet and I joined the YMCA and have been going pretty much every week day since.
I'm loving Body Pump and I'm already feeling better about myself in general. It's amazing what taking a stand can do for your general well being.
I'll admit, I have been fighting depression and a general defeatist attitude lately. I have felt weighed down and overwhelmed by a lot of things but particularly my health. And I felt like it wasn't really something to talk about because it has to do with ovaries...
Well forget that! If people can talk all about boobies in support of breast cancer then we can talk about ovaries in support of PCOS!
In fact, September is PCOS awareness month and the official color of PCOS Awareness is teal! (I'm gonna be wearing a lot of it now!)
I am fighting harder to lose weight than your average person. And losing weight and getting healthy is a fight to keep from getting diabetes, cancer, heart disease etc. I am 4 - 6 times more likely to have a heart attack than your average person, and 50% more likely to suffer miscarriages, and getting pregnant is a struggle as well. All of these things are a part of PCOS and insulin resistance and this information has beat me down enough! It's fighting time! I am meeting with doctors, getting tests done, working my @$$ off at the gym and completely changing my diet and eating like I'm already diabetic. (That's healthy!) I think Ryan and I may even take a family trip to Houston at the end of the month to take part in a PCOS Awareness 5K.
I'm not bearing this burden alone in secret anymore. My husband is a great support and there is a lot more support out there than I realized. PCOS effects 10% of Women in the US today.
The Motto on a ton of PCOS Awareness apparel is Fight Like a Girl! And that's exactly what I'm going to do!
Go Teal! ;)
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Monday, August 19, 2013
Half a Year; Hannah-Kate is 6 Months Old
Hannah-Kate turned 6 months old today! I can hardly believe it! I held a friend's new baby boy this week who was the same size as my little girl when she was born and it was so hard to believe that she was ever that tiny! Hannah-Kate is sitting up by herself for short periods of time, she is super good at rolling over both ways, she has figured out how to get on her hands and knees and sort of launch herself forward in a scooting movement, and looks about ready to crawl any time now.
She was a champ this weekend when Mommy and Daddy were both VERY sick. She nursed only when she really needed it (Not that she had much of a choice on the matter.) She was very pleasant and let Daddy put her to bed several times and even stuck it out with us at an urgent care facility so we could get back on track.
Of course the first night she only woke up once would be the night we were up puking in the bathroom, but I'm grateful none-the-less.
Today has been a recovery day. Lots of snuggles and baths and naps laying with Mommy instead of in the crib. I'm okay with that, I was only around her to nurse her yesterday as Daddy was the healthier of the two of us.
There are a lot of changes ahead for our little family and we are taking things one step at a time just trying to follow God through it all and be grateful for what we have.
Today I am so incredible grateful for my sweet baby girl!
Monday, August 12, 2013
Warning: Blog Vomit!
It's been a while since my last blog post. There is a reason for that. Things have gotten pretty crazy around here... unfortunately one of those "things" is me.
Prepare yourself for a therapeutic spew of sorts. (Therapeutic for me, sorry, not you.)
First; we decided to officially leave our home church. This was a difficult decision that we had been praying about for 2 months and felt like God answered through a sting of circumstances that are quite uncommon at said church and the timing was just "bad" according to our family pastor. Ryan explained over the phone that he felt like that timing was God's answer for us and that we harbor no ill feelings towards the church and see great things coming from said church. But a number of things just weren't adding up to the specific needs of our family in this time in our lives.
We parted on good terms, and I know God is leading us to find our church home/family but this was HARD. Ryan and I have basically been looking for a permanent church home since we got married. We have been looking for good friends to grow our family with, to encourage, and be encouraged by. Accountability partners, coffee dates, true friends. Ryan and I are VERY different in our church preferences. E.G
I like topical preaching, he prefers expository,
Worship is very important to me, I want something contemporary and skilled, People praising Jesus is all the same to him.
I've been burned by lots of churches in the past that makes me a little more picky (maybe judgemental if I'm honest) and warry about finding a church.
We both decided we want our church to be in our city so Pflugerville it is.
We both would like for there to be good Men and Women's ministries but especially Women's as I could really use more outlets and support while He is working.
I haven't left Hannah Kate in a Nursery yet so this feels like taking steps backwards because how am I supposed to feel safe leaving her for the first time in a church we haven't been going to for long?
And the anxiety ensues.
Also, Ryan got set up with a home warranty company as an independent contractor for his business. Apparently it started on Saturday because he got 4 calls in 48 hours as well as a friend of ours who's AC went out completely. They have two little girls and it was HOT. So Ryan worked all through the weekend and has side jobs after work today and tomorrow and that's if he doesn't receive more calls.
I have mixed feelings about all this. We both feel like a massive wave just came down on us, but it's like we have been in a drought before said wave so it's appreciated but a tad overwhelming.
I went with Ryan to our friends house while he fixed their AC and got to see him at work. He LOVES helping people. He LOVES residential work. He is good at it, he is satisfied by it and we both loved that we were able to help our friends, who are foster parents, keep those little girls cool without having to spend hundreds of dollars.
This kind of work is a ministry as well as a business and I could just see my husband thriving in it this weekend. I heard him on the phone with a customer helping him trouble shoot a diagnosis and his customer service and communication skills are excellent and he is so knowledgeable and honest. This fills me with pride. I LOVE these things about my husband. His work is hard, sacrificial, uncomfortable and when it's helping people, families, he feels so rewarded. I can't wait for him to get to do this full time. It's night and day different from working on Commercial HVAC.
What I'm not really excited about is how much he's going to be gone now, and how physically tired he will be when he comes home. (Selfish much? Yes!) But he has made it clear that while quantity of time may be difficult for a while he wants to make sure the time he does have with me and Hannah Kate is quality time. (What a man I have!) I will and am already missing my husband, and it is REALLY hard to have long days alone with a 6 month old who's sleeping habits are down right frustrating.
Which brings me to my next spew. I have been pleading with God, doing my research, watching my child closely, trying to stick to schedules and consistency to help both of us sleep better and longer and while we have good days... I can't seem to get anything to stick! This is one of the most frustrating aspects of life at the moment. (Or maybe it just feels that bad because I'm tired all the time.)
So in dealing with all of this anyone might be a little stressed and emotional right? (Someone say yes just for my sake.)
But I'm embarrassed and ashamed to admit that yesterday my poor husband had to help me get a hold of my emotions and point out that in a matter of a few hours I had gone from happy and excited about the business taking off and the money coming in to angry and frustrated with him for not helping me with something when and how I expected and with Hannah Kate not taking a nap, and then I got all sad and emotional about God only knows what... This isn't the first time this has happened and it makes me feel like a Psycho. My only comfort is that I can pretty much always take a step back and realize my emotions or moods are unreasonable. When Ryan asked me what was going on yesterday I pretty much burst into tears and told him I was a freak with hormone issues and didn't even really know why I was feeling the way I was... Poor Ryan.
I have an appointment with my Endocrinologist a week from today. I know extreme mood swings are a side effect of insulin resistance and PCOS so I really hope she can help me figure something out. I feel like the added stress of life is making all my endocrine issues worse and I'm trying so hard to stay in control of my emotions... see? I sound like a crazy woman again...
This thing is hard for me to deal with some days. Today is one of those days.
But to think about the silver lining, all of Ryan's work is providing us with the means to get a YMCA membership and one of the keys to living healthy is consistent exercise. Which is also great for stress, they have great childcare that my sister trusts which makes me feel better about leaving Hannah Kate for an hour so I can work out. This also means I get a break on long days that Ryan isn't home.
I'm also planning on getting into some Mom's programs and Bible Studies this fall to make sure I stay spiritually grounded and focused on God as well as just getting some support and added outlets in the midst of this crazy life.
Whew! I think I got it all out... now my mind doesn't feel so cluttered and I feel like my emotions just took a deep breath. Haha (Crazy much?)
Prepare yourself for a therapeutic spew of sorts. (Therapeutic for me, sorry, not you.)
First; we decided to officially leave our home church. This was a difficult decision that we had been praying about for 2 months and felt like God answered through a sting of circumstances that are quite uncommon at said church and the timing was just "bad" according to our family pastor. Ryan explained over the phone that he felt like that timing was God's answer for us and that we harbor no ill feelings towards the church and see great things coming from said church. But a number of things just weren't adding up to the specific needs of our family in this time in our lives.
We parted on good terms, and I know God is leading us to find our church home/family but this was HARD. Ryan and I have basically been looking for a permanent church home since we got married. We have been looking for good friends to grow our family with, to encourage, and be encouraged by. Accountability partners, coffee dates, true friends. Ryan and I are VERY different in our church preferences. E.G
I like topical preaching, he prefers expository,
Worship is very important to me, I want something contemporary and skilled, People praising Jesus is all the same to him.
I've been burned by lots of churches in the past that makes me a little more picky (maybe judgemental if I'm honest) and warry about finding a church.
We both decided we want our church to be in our city so Pflugerville it is.
We both would like for there to be good Men and Women's ministries but especially Women's as I could really use more outlets and support while He is working.
I haven't left Hannah Kate in a Nursery yet so this feels like taking steps backwards because how am I supposed to feel safe leaving her for the first time in a church we haven't been going to for long?
And the anxiety ensues.
Also, Ryan got set up with a home warranty company as an independent contractor for his business. Apparently it started on Saturday because he got 4 calls in 48 hours as well as a friend of ours who's AC went out completely. They have two little girls and it was HOT. So Ryan worked all through the weekend and has side jobs after work today and tomorrow and that's if he doesn't receive more calls.
I have mixed feelings about all this. We both feel like a massive wave just came down on us, but it's like we have been in a drought before said wave so it's appreciated but a tad overwhelming.
I went with Ryan to our friends house while he fixed their AC and got to see him at work. He LOVES helping people. He LOVES residential work. He is good at it, he is satisfied by it and we both loved that we were able to help our friends, who are foster parents, keep those little girls cool without having to spend hundreds of dollars.
This kind of work is a ministry as well as a business and I could just see my husband thriving in it this weekend. I heard him on the phone with a customer helping him trouble shoot a diagnosis and his customer service and communication skills are excellent and he is so knowledgeable and honest. This fills me with pride. I LOVE these things about my husband. His work is hard, sacrificial, uncomfortable and when it's helping people, families, he feels so rewarded. I can't wait for him to get to do this full time. It's night and day different from working on Commercial HVAC.
What I'm not really excited about is how much he's going to be gone now, and how physically tired he will be when he comes home. (Selfish much? Yes!) But he has made it clear that while quantity of time may be difficult for a while he wants to make sure the time he does have with me and Hannah Kate is quality time. (What a man I have!) I will and am already missing my husband, and it is REALLY hard to have long days alone with a 6 month old who's sleeping habits are down right frustrating.
Which brings me to my next spew. I have been pleading with God, doing my research, watching my child closely, trying to stick to schedules and consistency to help both of us sleep better and longer and while we have good days... I can't seem to get anything to stick! This is one of the most frustrating aspects of life at the moment. (Or maybe it just feels that bad because I'm tired all the time.)
So in dealing with all of this anyone might be a little stressed and emotional right? (Someone say yes just for my sake.)
But I'm embarrassed and ashamed to admit that yesterday my poor husband had to help me get a hold of my emotions and point out that in a matter of a few hours I had gone from happy and excited about the business taking off and the money coming in to angry and frustrated with him for not helping me with something when and how I expected and with Hannah Kate not taking a nap, and then I got all sad and emotional about God only knows what... This isn't the first time this has happened and it makes me feel like a Psycho. My only comfort is that I can pretty much always take a step back and realize my emotions or moods are unreasonable. When Ryan asked me what was going on yesterday I pretty much burst into tears and told him I was a freak with hormone issues and didn't even really know why I was feeling the way I was... Poor Ryan.
I have an appointment with my Endocrinologist a week from today. I know extreme mood swings are a side effect of insulin resistance and PCOS so I really hope she can help me figure something out. I feel like the added stress of life is making all my endocrine issues worse and I'm trying so hard to stay in control of my emotions... see? I sound like a crazy woman again...
This thing is hard for me to deal with some days. Today is one of those days.
But to think about the silver lining, all of Ryan's work is providing us with the means to get a YMCA membership and one of the keys to living healthy is consistent exercise. Which is also great for stress, they have great childcare that my sister trusts which makes me feel better about leaving Hannah Kate for an hour so I can work out. This also means I get a break on long days that Ryan isn't home.
I'm also planning on getting into some Mom's programs and Bible Studies this fall to make sure I stay spiritually grounded and focused on God as well as just getting some support and added outlets in the midst of this crazy life.
Whew! I think I got it all out... now my mind doesn't feel so cluttered and I feel like my emotions just took a deep breath. Haha (Crazy much?)
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Random Thoughts
Ever had a brain freeze from drinking a little too much of something very cold a little too quickly?
I get something similar when I try to retain too much information in a short period of time (Usually nap time!)
Research Headaches...Sometimes it's like trying to drink out of a fire hydrant.
BTW... ever wanted to see what that might look like?
Well... Happy Wednesday!
Google is a great resource but be careful what you search for... and how you word things... and typos... there is some crazy stuff on the internet! ...
Today's research has been a bit more encouraging. While more precise and complicated, and depending on my level of PCOS/Insulin Resistance, I should be able to get on the "Healthy Train" with lifestyle alone. No drugs. I'm of course still going to talk with all the proper medical professionals but I'm still encouraged.
Now if I could just figure out the correlation between my daughter's sleep patterns.... or Not-patterns since there really is no consistency.
You know what's ironic? When I was about 17 or 18 I was extremely vain and insecure... possibly even slightly narcissistic. My greatest fear in life was being fat and ugly and not having any power over it, or the ability to change it... seriously. That fear consumed me for a while.
And now 5 or 6 years later... to some extent, I feel like that is my life right now. No, I'm not completely powerless, but the difficulty losing and then maintaining a healthy weight has been pretty astounding to me.
This makes me sad, and I do feel quite insecure sometimes... but I'm grateful that my life holds so much more meaning now than what I look like.
And my drive to show my daughter that true beauty and confidence is in Godliness is a great "re-focus-er" during those times.
Love is amazing.
My husband is pretty perfect.
My daughter is a peach.
My God is good to me, and bigger than my problems.
Life is what I make of it, and right here, right now, I'm making life good.
I get something similar when I try to retain too much information in a short period of time (Usually nap time!)
Research Headaches...Sometimes it's like trying to drink out of a fire hydrant.
BTW... ever wanted to see what that might look like?
Well... Happy Wednesday!
Google is a great resource but be careful what you search for... and how you word things... and typos... there is some crazy stuff on the internet! ...
Today's research has been a bit more encouraging. While more precise and complicated, and depending on my level of PCOS/Insulin Resistance, I should be able to get on the "Healthy Train" with lifestyle alone. No drugs. I'm of course still going to talk with all the proper medical professionals but I'm still encouraged.
Now if I could just figure out the correlation between my daughter's sleep patterns.... or Not-patterns since there really is no consistency.
You know what's ironic? When I was about 17 or 18 I was extremely vain and insecure... possibly even slightly narcissistic. My greatest fear in life was being fat and ugly and not having any power over it, or the ability to change it... seriously. That fear consumed me for a while.
And now 5 or 6 years later... to some extent, I feel like that is my life right now. No, I'm not completely powerless, but the difficulty losing and then maintaining a healthy weight has been pretty astounding to me.
This makes me sad, and I do feel quite insecure sometimes... but I'm grateful that my life holds so much more meaning now than what I look like.
And my drive to show my daughter that true beauty and confidence is in Godliness is a great "re-focus-er" during those times.
Love is amazing.
My husband is pretty perfect.
My daughter is a peach.
My God is good to me, and bigger than my problems.
Life is what I make of it, and right here, right now, I'm making life good.
Monday, July 29, 2013
Monday Mommy Blues
I'm just gonna be honest and put it out there... it's been a rough weekend.
Hannah Kate's great sleeping lasted all of two nights and then we had another up every hour night followed by up every two hours... Being a Mommy is HARD! Trying to figure out what is best for your baby is HARD especially when your own needs are such a huge part of the picture, even when you try not to think about it.
I'm struggling with this not only in the sleep category but in others as well. I'm having a really hard time accepting my health issues right now. It would be easy to decide I just don't want to know anymore and ignore it but that wouldn't be good for anyone. The more research I do the more I wish I would have understood most of these things from the beginning. I would have done so many things different and possibly could have been in better overall health right now.
I couldn't get in to see an Endocrinologist until August 19th and I am just banking question after question as I continue to read and research.
I have noticed a lot of negative PCOS symptoms since having Hannah Kate but didn't recognize that's what they were until fairly recently.
The hardest ones to deal with are how my endocrine issues effect my moods and emotions. Especially with added stress like sleep deprivation. And feeling light headed and dizzy a lot is no fun either. Especially while taking care of a baby.
I can't help but wonder how good of a Mommy I've been these past five months and how much better I could have been had I known what I know now before I even got pregnant.
One thing that's weighing very heavy on my heart as I research, (and I plan on asking my OBGYN, Pediatrician and Endocrinologist about) is the effects of the medication I rather expect to be advised to take on my baby through nursing. Would it be wiser not to take the drug or wiser to switch to formula? If diet alone is not enough to stabilize all of these endocrine issues will I be the best mommy I can be without the medication? Is it better for Hannah Kate to continue nursing with a Mommy who might be overly stressed or spent? Or to have second best nutrition and a Mommy who is healthier...
I may be getting ahead of myself, or I may just be preparing and examining options before I'm officially presented with them.
I pray a lot, but I confess it's usually me asking something of God... and to be honest my spiritual life is certainly not what it should be for someone who has known Jesus as long as I have.
I have always struggled with why God let's us walk through painful and difficult places.
I ask God to help my baby sleep every night... and for some reason He doesn't see that to be what's best for me...
I ask God to take away health afflictions... and have ever since I found out I had PCOS... And apparently He knows better, and there's a reason He isn't healing me.
I ask God to bless us Financially and my guess is that He wants us to fully rely on His plan and provision and be happy with "Just Enough"
My heart is heavy today as I ponder these things and trudge through my day, chin held as high as I can hold it, trying to be a great Mommy even though I feel like I'm severely lacking on days like this.
God is bigger... Christ has overcome the world... I know He doesn't give me more than I can handle... but He certainly sees more strength in me than I do...
Hannah Kate's great sleeping lasted all of two nights and then we had another up every hour night followed by up every two hours... Being a Mommy is HARD! Trying to figure out what is best for your baby is HARD especially when your own needs are such a huge part of the picture, even when you try not to think about it.
I'm struggling with this not only in the sleep category but in others as well. I'm having a really hard time accepting my health issues right now. It would be easy to decide I just don't want to know anymore and ignore it but that wouldn't be good for anyone. The more research I do the more I wish I would have understood most of these things from the beginning. I would have done so many things different and possibly could have been in better overall health right now.
I couldn't get in to see an Endocrinologist until August 19th and I am just banking question after question as I continue to read and research.
I have noticed a lot of negative PCOS symptoms since having Hannah Kate but didn't recognize that's what they were until fairly recently.
The hardest ones to deal with are how my endocrine issues effect my moods and emotions. Especially with added stress like sleep deprivation. And feeling light headed and dizzy a lot is no fun either. Especially while taking care of a baby.
I can't help but wonder how good of a Mommy I've been these past five months and how much better I could have been had I known what I know now before I even got pregnant.
One thing that's weighing very heavy on my heart as I research, (and I plan on asking my OBGYN, Pediatrician and Endocrinologist about) is the effects of the medication I rather expect to be advised to take on my baby through nursing. Would it be wiser not to take the drug or wiser to switch to formula? If diet alone is not enough to stabilize all of these endocrine issues will I be the best mommy I can be without the medication? Is it better for Hannah Kate to continue nursing with a Mommy who might be overly stressed or spent? Or to have second best nutrition and a Mommy who is healthier...
I may be getting ahead of myself, or I may just be preparing and examining options before I'm officially presented with them.
I pray a lot, but I confess it's usually me asking something of God... and to be honest my spiritual life is certainly not what it should be for someone who has known Jesus as long as I have.
I have always struggled with why God let's us walk through painful and difficult places.
I ask God to help my baby sleep every night... and for some reason He doesn't see that to be what's best for me...
I ask God to take away health afflictions... and have ever since I found out I had PCOS... And apparently He knows better, and there's a reason He isn't healing me.
I ask God to bless us Financially and my guess is that He wants us to fully rely on His plan and provision and be happy with "Just Enough"
My heart is heavy today as I ponder these things and trudge through my day, chin held as high as I can hold it, trying to be a great Mommy even though I feel like I'm severely lacking on days like this.
God is bigger... Christ has overcome the world... I know He doesn't give me more than I can handle... but He certainly sees more strength in me than I do...
Friday, July 26, 2013
The School Of Life
I have a lot I kind of want to get out there in this post but since I'm writing while my baby is asleep I'm not counting on being able to mention it all.
We never stop learning. I have been out of any kind of formal educational classroom for years, but I've probably learned more valuable things than what I learned at any class at ACC.
God is teaching me the true meaning of love and support and submission through my husband's career. He just got his official license and we officially own Anders Air Conditioning LLC! I'm very excited about what this (HOPEFULLY) means for our family in 3 to 5 years but the means to get to that point bring me down.
I have been working on business cards, a website and a business e-mail! I am THE secretary and dispatcher as Ryan can't do personal business at work or from a work phone. We opened a business bank account yesterday, got a business computer and two books on the Quickbooks computer program. (Haven't purchased that yet.) All of this is fun and exciting to me! And the idea that in five or so years Ryan will be fully launched into his own business and not have to work as much and not have to go to school and be a part of our homeschooling etc... I love it all...
Here's where I get stuck: Over the next several years we have to endure Ryan working his normal 40hr a week job plus responding to every possible residential/side job AND going to union school twice a week. This means seeing him a whole lot less, and to be selfishly honest, it means a lot less help for me. This is hard for me. I am learning how to see that the end justifies the means, to put my big girl panties on, and find solutions to the problem.
The biggest problem being that outside of my husband and family, I don't really have support or friends or really anything to help on long lonely days. You'd think that's where my church comes in but they only really check in with me to solicit my service to the church which I'm not willing to leave my baby for. Maybe that makes me a bad Christian...
I'm planning on joining MOPS, (Mothers Of Preschoolers) Thrive, (another Moms ministry) Women's Bible Studies, and the YMCA this September. Hannah Kate will be 7 months old, eating lots of fun yummy food where she isn't solely reliant on me for nourishment and I expect her to not only be sitting up but also crawling by then and she will probably still be quite the hearty baby so hopefully I'll be a little more adjusted to the idea of getting a little more Mommy Time by being able to trust her care to someone else for an hour or two at a time.
Sadly, most of these things are not an extension of our church. I'm kind of sad about that. Like I mentioned, my church only seems to contact me when they want me to serve. This upset me the most when it was claimed that it's because they are so concerned about my spiritual growth.
They are so concerned that they want to get me plugged in to a service but haven't realized I've been absent for nearly two months, much less know what's going on in my life.
If they were really concerned about my spiritual growth they might check in every now and again without ulterior motives, and find out that life is actually kind of tough for me right now, and maybe see where I can get plugged in to find friends and support... Maybe that's a harsh and mean perspective of my church....
I went to the grocery store and spent way too much money on low glycemic index foods for my new diet. I discovered that PCOS and insulin resistance are not really fertility problems but pretty serious health issues that can cause all sorts of issues if not treated; you know, like heart disease, type 2 diabetes, etc... fun stuff like that. So Ryan and I are doing our research eating appropriately, scheduling appointments with the right kind of medical professionals and trying to get this under control BEFORE I'm at a higher risk for such things. But it makes me sad. It's a hard pill to swallow... I learned sad statistics that have only caused anxiety and I wish I could erase the information from my brain...
But onto more positive things! Hannah Kate's sleep had been gradually getting worse and I was disappointed because she used to be such a great natural sleeper and the whole time I was pregnant I prayed for a good sleeper and for the most part felt like God had answered that prayer.
For the past several weeks it has taken 3 - 5 times to get her settled in for the night, only to be up with her every 1 to 2 hours which means I wasn't getting any sleep.
It got to the point yesterday where I was near tears and told Ryan "I'm so frustrated and tired and out of patience that I just need you to take her so I don't say something in a mean voice to her." (She was being really fussy at the time.)
We had been praying over her every night that she would sleep well, and I began to look up sleep training methods. Ryan even implored me to let her cry for a little bit to see if she would go back to sleep. I lasted about 8-10 minutes before I went in and got her. I was so torn yesterday about the right way to sleep train a baby and just didn't know what to do!
We decided to try solids more than once a day, took Hannah on an evening walk, then food, then bath, then some snuggles before nursing and bed.
She went down at 9pm, got up at 2am to eat, went back down until 6:45 and then slept again until 9:30am!
It's amazing how different you can feel about life when you have slept! I feel amazing! I'm praying this is the first night of many good sleeps! Thank You Jesus!
One thing I know about life is that I will never be done learning! God is teaching me so much, and a lot of times the learning is slow. I have a lot of questions and most of them take time and experience to get an answer, but wisdom comes from such learning.
And no matter what life brings, God is bigger.
We never stop learning. I have been out of any kind of formal educational classroom for years, but I've probably learned more valuable things than what I learned at any class at ACC.
God is teaching me the true meaning of love and support and submission through my husband's career. He just got his official license and we officially own Anders Air Conditioning LLC! I'm very excited about what this (HOPEFULLY) means for our family in 3 to 5 years but the means to get to that point bring me down.
I have been working on business cards, a website and a business e-mail! I am THE secretary and dispatcher as Ryan can't do personal business at work or from a work phone. We opened a business bank account yesterday, got a business computer and two books on the Quickbooks computer program. (Haven't purchased that yet.) All of this is fun and exciting to me! And the idea that in five or so years Ryan will be fully launched into his own business and not have to work as much and not have to go to school and be a part of our homeschooling etc... I love it all...
Here's where I get stuck: Over the next several years we have to endure Ryan working his normal 40hr a week job plus responding to every possible residential/side job AND going to union school twice a week. This means seeing him a whole lot less, and to be selfishly honest, it means a lot less help for me. This is hard for me. I am learning how to see that the end justifies the means, to put my big girl panties on, and find solutions to the problem.
The biggest problem being that outside of my husband and family, I don't really have support or friends or really anything to help on long lonely days. You'd think that's where my church comes in but they only really check in with me to solicit my service to the church which I'm not willing to leave my baby for. Maybe that makes me a bad Christian...
I'm planning on joining MOPS, (Mothers Of Preschoolers) Thrive, (another Moms ministry) Women's Bible Studies, and the YMCA this September. Hannah Kate will be 7 months old, eating lots of fun yummy food where she isn't solely reliant on me for nourishment and I expect her to not only be sitting up but also crawling by then and she will probably still be quite the hearty baby so hopefully I'll be a little more adjusted to the idea of getting a little more Mommy Time by being able to trust her care to someone else for an hour or two at a time.
Sadly, most of these things are not an extension of our church. I'm kind of sad about that. Like I mentioned, my church only seems to contact me when they want me to serve. This upset me the most when it was claimed that it's because they are so concerned about my spiritual growth.
They are so concerned that they want to get me plugged in to a service but haven't realized I've been absent for nearly two months, much less know what's going on in my life.
If they were really concerned about my spiritual growth they might check in every now and again without ulterior motives, and find out that life is actually kind of tough for me right now, and maybe see where I can get plugged in to find friends and support... Maybe that's a harsh and mean perspective of my church....
I went to the grocery store and spent way too much money on low glycemic index foods for my new diet. I discovered that PCOS and insulin resistance are not really fertility problems but pretty serious health issues that can cause all sorts of issues if not treated; you know, like heart disease, type 2 diabetes, etc... fun stuff like that. So Ryan and I are doing our research eating appropriately, scheduling appointments with the right kind of medical professionals and trying to get this under control BEFORE I'm at a higher risk for such things. But it makes me sad. It's a hard pill to swallow... I learned sad statistics that have only caused anxiety and I wish I could erase the information from my brain...
But onto more positive things! Hannah Kate's sleep had been gradually getting worse and I was disappointed because she used to be such a great natural sleeper and the whole time I was pregnant I prayed for a good sleeper and for the most part felt like God had answered that prayer.
For the past several weeks it has taken 3 - 5 times to get her settled in for the night, only to be up with her every 1 to 2 hours which means I wasn't getting any sleep.
It got to the point yesterday where I was near tears and told Ryan "I'm so frustrated and tired and out of patience that I just need you to take her so I don't say something in a mean voice to her." (She was being really fussy at the time.)
We had been praying over her every night that she would sleep well, and I began to look up sleep training methods. Ryan even implored me to let her cry for a little bit to see if she would go back to sleep. I lasted about 8-10 minutes before I went in and got her. I was so torn yesterday about the right way to sleep train a baby and just didn't know what to do!
We decided to try solids more than once a day, took Hannah on an evening walk, then food, then bath, then some snuggles before nursing and bed.
She went down at 9pm, got up at 2am to eat, went back down until 6:45 and then slept again until 9:30am!
It's amazing how different you can feel about life when you have slept! I feel amazing! I'm praying this is the first night of many good sleeps! Thank You Jesus!
One thing I know about life is that I will never be done learning! God is teaching me so much, and a lot of times the learning is slow. I have a lot of questions and most of them take time and experience to get an answer, but wisdom comes from such learning.
And no matter what life brings, God is bigger.
Monday, July 22, 2013
5 Months Old
My sweet Girl,
You turned five months old the same weekend your Uncle Jeremy got married! It was a busy and exciting weekend for you but your aunts, uncles, and Gigi and Pops were there for you through out the weekend!
Here are some highlights of your life right now:
- You are on the verge of crawling! (Mommy is in NO rush!)
- You started eating rice cereal, (and like to feed yourself already!)
- You have GREAT dexterity and are very interested in long hair, faces, (especially Uncle Justin's and Daddy's) fingers, spoons, and toys.
- You are so strong you got a new exersaucer from Mima and love to play in that one and the one at Gigi's house.
- You still LOVE baths and being "Nekid"
- You have learned how to make all sorts of exciting new sounds and facial expressions!
- Your beautiful hair is getting longer and is still as curly as can be!
- You look more like your Daddy than your Mommy right now. I'm okay with that!
- Your gorgeous eyes are a deep dark green. I kind of hope they stay that way but you are beautiful no matter what color your eyes end up being.
- You are SO loved!
This week you got to spend time with family on Mommy and Daddy's side and everyone adores you!
Here are some pictures and videos to go with everything wonderful about you this month!
.JPG)
We didn't get pictures of every time everyone was loving on you, but everyone certainly had their fair share of snuggles with you.
You turned five months old the same weekend your Uncle Jeremy got married! It was a busy and exciting weekend for you but your aunts, uncles, and Gigi and Pops were there for you through out the weekend!
Here are some highlights of your life right now:
- You are on the verge of crawling! (Mommy is in NO rush!)
- You started eating rice cereal, (and like to feed yourself already!)
- You have GREAT dexterity and are very interested in long hair, faces, (especially Uncle Justin's and Daddy's) fingers, spoons, and toys.
- You are so strong you got a new exersaucer from Mima and love to play in that one and the one at Gigi's house.
- You still LOVE baths and being "Nekid"
- You have learned how to make all sorts of exciting new sounds and facial expressions!
- Your beautiful hair is getting longer and is still as curly as can be!
- You look more like your Daddy than your Mommy right now. I'm okay with that!
- Your gorgeous eyes are a deep dark green. I kind of hope they stay that way but you are beautiful no matter what color your eyes end up being.
- You are SO loved!
This week you got to spend time with family on Mommy and Daddy's side and everyone adores you!
Here are some pictures and videos to go with everything wonderful about you this month!
.JPG)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)