In Between Important Days

Today is a pretty neat day.

Yesterday was my Dad's birthday and tomorrow is my Mom's birthday!

They are celebrating with my oldest brother and from some pictures posted on Instagram, they are having a great time! I am so glad!

So today is the best day to talk a bit about my parents, this day that sort of connects their birthdays... it's kind of both of their day!

I've been thinking a lot about what a great job my parents did with the hefty task of raising six children! And this weekend they have both come up as wonderful examples!

Just today at lunch someone was telling us about how amazing it is to look at a child as young and new as Hannah-Kate and then one day see them go to college or get married etc, my sweet husband said he wasn't ready to think of his little girl getting married yet but that when she does get to that age he will have a good relationship with any boy who intends to pursue her.
When told that he has no control over that, both my husband and I were at the ready with how my daddy raised me and the kind of relationship Ryan had with him before and during my relationship and how involved my dad was in my whole dating life.

I was at the ready with how my daddy would take me on dates and teach me the value of waiting for the perfect husband that God had picked out for me, how from as young as 10 years old I heard my daddy pray for the man I would one day marry, how my daddy instilled in me my value as God's daughter, a princess to the King of Kings and how I should always be treated as such.
Ryan then proudly stated, "That's the model we will be using for our girls"
Thanks Daddy!

My life choice to not only be a stay at home mom but also and educator to my children has a lot to do with my incredible Mom.
The way she always knew what was best for how each of her individual children learn, how to have as many as six children and not consider us a unit, a gang, a herd, but as six uniquely individual people.
Her loving attention, encouragement and example have A LOT to do with why I knew at 10 years old that I wanted to be a Mommy just like her when I grew up.
And now, I am! And I'm still getting my "cheerleader" as I seek to prepare myself even this early in the game to follow in her footsteps and homeschool my children.

I have learned SO much from my parents and so of course I am BEYOND grateful for the days they were born.

Happy Birthday Mom and Dad! We love you SO much!

I Am Who I Am...

No hiding, no pretending...

I have spent much of my life scared, insecure, and extremely concerned about what others think of me.

Lately God has been showing me how following Him is much more important than anything else! "Seek FIRST the kingdom of Heaven and all things shall be added" Matthew 6:33

I have been invigorated in doing what God has called me to do lately. I am feeling more confident, strong, and proud than I think I ever have before, which is awesome because at 3 months postpartum it certainly has nothing to do with my outward appearance... however "The Lord does not look at what man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 6:17

My confidence is coming from my heart and where I stand with my precious saviour. My value and worth lie with Him and I am so glad!

I tend to hide a lot of myself for the sake of "saving face" and not making others uncomfortable or feel one way or another but then I end up feeling like less...

No more! Even Jesus bravely admitted, "I am that I am" in the face of death and torment He did not hide who Gad made Him to be! And nor will I!

So who am I?

I am Tiffany!
An heir to the throne of God through Christ Jesus.
I am a devoted mother who made an educated decision to be at home with her children.

I am not some boring career-less woman who missed out, I chose my career! And pouring into my children is the most valuable thing I think I could be doing with my time!

Most people spend an average of 4 years in college. I spent at least that long as a babysitter, nanny, mother's day out teacher, day care worker etc. I asked tons of questions of moms whom I deem wise, I've done internet and book research, discussed with peers and family all about the ins and outs of being a hands on, at home mother. So I did my four years of "schooling" for the "career path" I chose. And I followed my childhood dream. When I was 10 I wanted to be "A Good Mommy" when I grew up. And here I am.
There is SO much value in what I do whether our society sees it or not.
Despite what people like to say or think, I am NOT wasting my life! I am making it more valuable by pouring into my children consistency, love, Jesus, knowledge, trust etc.

The way I have decided to raise our family alongside my husband will change the course of our children's future! We have way more say in what goes into their daily living than most parents today.

Not only have we chosen to have me stay at home to care for their every needs but we have also prayerfully decided to homeschool our children when they are of schooling age.

This is another controversial subject that I am no longer shying away from.  I am passionate about loving and training my children, thus I am passionate about being at home and homeschooling them as well! And what's wrong with being passionate!?

If everyone who loves their job has a right to talk about it then that includes me as well! I LOVE my job! It's not always easy and the hours are long.... very long, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.
My children are really going to know me, and I them in a very close and intimate way. Our children will love their siblings and be very good friends with them and their cousins! (Especially cousins who might also be homeschooled and go on field trips together etc....)

I'm not ashamed of my decision! And I'm going to hold up my GORGEOUS life for the world to see! I'm going to be proud of the beautiful yet difficult life we have chosen, and I refuse to LET other people or society norms make me feel like I'm worth any less as a person than a woman working in the corporate world!

I am who I am! And that's who God made me! And I'm doing and living as He has told me to do!

I am a proud wife to an incredible, hard-working, Godly husband. And I am a Mom to an amazingly beautiful little girl! And I am a home maker in a lovely home that God has entrusted me to care for.

This is my life! And I AM who I want to be! :)

Happy 3 Months Hannah-Kate!!!

My Dear Girl!

Today you are three months old! Here is some of what's going on in your life right now!

You love going on walks around Lake Pflugerville and around the Domain!

You LOVE Gigi, Pops, Mima, Bee-Bop, and your Aunts, Uncles, and cousins, but you get to spend a lot of time with your cousin Makafui. He is Coffee, you are Cake and you two love being with each other. You even have a theme song!

You are very good at "Tummy Time" and are able to roll onto your side from your tummy and almost completely back over onto your back!

You love ceiling fans and toys that dangle above you. You can sit up pretty well with a bit of help and love to stand on your own two feet with someone to hang onto! You also LOVE when Mommy or Daddy carries you around in the Ergo

Now that you are a bit more solid you like your bouncer, especially when it vibrates like when we are in the car or on a bumpy stroller ride.

Your favorite toy right now is an awesome diamond ring rattle that Gigi gave you.

Not only do you smile but you make all sorts of adorable noises (Baby Talk!) and.... YOU LAUGH!!! Mommy LOVES hearing those precious noises, and on occasion, you like to show off these new found abilities. :)

You sleep well at night but we are working on naps during the day.

According to our scale at home, you weigh about 13 pounds.

You LOVE bath time, and being "nekid"

You are SO loved! And now you are able to express loving gazes back at Mommy and Daddy and it warms our hearts!

MOTHER'S DAY!!!

:::FLASH BACK:::

Last Mother's Day I remember sitting between church services talking to a friend from small group, choking back tears as I tried to pretend Mother's Day wasn't the most agonizing day of the year for me.
It was even the chosen day for baby dedications and all I could think of was why God didn't seem to hear my prayers to join the ranks of motherhood.


:::FLASH FORWARD:::

This year I have my precious Hannah-Kate and a few months of Motherhood under my belt and this day is a celebration of my answered prayers and the joy I have found in being a Mommy.
I love my baby girl SO much and being Mom is the best working title/career I can think of to invest my time in!

This morning I got to have a relaxed and immensely enjoyable breakfast with my mom at one of our favorite restaurants.
We talked about church, family, homeschooling, women's roles, books and movies, what's going on in our lives and how we can pray for each other this coming week! Does it get any better than that?! :)
It means the world to me to hear that MY mom is proud of my mothering! I've only been a mommy for about 12 weeks, I don't have a lot of experience and trust me, I have days where "The flesh is weak" but my mom who is so highly acclaimed (Well Earned!) at being a wife, mom, mentor etc. Is proud of the little bit of Mommy-ing that I've been blessed to do. :)
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ME!

If you don't know my mom you probably don't get it.
If you are familiar with Proverbs 31 and how it basically lays out the perfect woman as wife and mom and just Godly Woman... well, then you might just be familiar with my mom.

She not only raised six kids with very different and vibrant personalities, but she taught all of us at home at some point. She is totally hands on, in it to win it kind of a mom.

I LOVE talking shop with her and why we raise our children this way and that and what the Bible says about love and discipline and our role as Mommy.

I have learned SO much from my mom but I think the thing that sticks with me the most now that I am a Mommy, and the thing I have always come back to is a simple one word term:

"Cultivate"

My parents never expected us to be perfect or do right just because. The behavior they wanted and expected from us as well as knowledge and other things was all a part of the cultivation they put into our lives.

The vivid image of a dedicated gardener is forever ingrained in my mind. To have bright, beautiful, rich, nutritious plants, you have to work at it. Cultivate them! Turn the soil so it's soft and absorbent, Plant seeds at the right depth for the right plant and the proper season, water constantly, shelter from bad weather, give it plenty of bright sunshine, etc.
All of that is parenting! Preparing the hearts of young children = soil
Taking advantage of teachable moments at the proper age and time of a child = Planting seeds
Lots of Water! = Truth! Why we do what we do as it lines up with the Bible, who God is and how that affects us.
Sunshine = Love and encouragement!
Shelter from bad weather = Just that! Sheltering children from the evil of the world until they are old enough, established enough, strong enough to handle it.

This picture is beautiful! And ever present in my mind thanks to my incredible Mom!
Thanks Mama!
I'm proud to be one of your "plants"
Happy Mother's Day!   

The Last Couple Of Days...

In the last few days, maybe weeks, I've noticed a pretty inescapable pattern of addictions. I only watch a few things online or on Netflix and that's where it started. Characters relapsing or falling into addiction... I didn't think anything of that... But then it came up in my family. No one in my family has relapsed or anything but I've spoken with some close family members about my Grandpa and some other family members which led me to ask Ryan more about his past and how he feels about it. Then it came up in our small group. One of our members brother is just broken and needs Jesus. He is 34 been through at least a dozen rehabs and just a sad and guilty mess.
I told Ryan about how I'm not sure I believe all of this is a coincidence and may e we should begin praying about whether or not God is calling us to some sort of ministry to people suffering with addiction and or their families.
Surprisingly he told me all of this has been on his heart as well. So we are seeking God and asking Him to show is what, how, and when...

On a lighter note!
My sister and I played total granoalas yesterday! We strapped our babies to ourselves and went walkin through whole foods! Yes we had some gelato... And may or may not have samples 2 or 3 other chocolate treat type things.
We watched Makafui chase giant pigeons at the roof top play area with a big boy.
We looked at some expensive skin care for Hannah Kate (but I decided on a cheaper yet still organic option from Target)
And we walked through the delicious and impressive bakery and sampled some bread... I meant to buy a loaf but it may not have made it home so I guess it's good I forgot.
I realized just how much I LOVE food... This is a little concerning.
Note to self: never go to Whole Foods when your hungry, like meal time hungry.
On the way home Hannah Kate got made about traffic and that she is growing and started screaming. Makafui decided to "sympathize" and yell right along with her. Then he realized how funny he was and all sympathy turned to entertainment... Hilarious!

My husband has something planned for Mother's Day and I keep trying to get him to tell me but he wont. I'm looking forward to it though. He's a pretty thoughtful man!

I'm also looking forward to my Mommy and Me breakfast with my mom this weekend. We are ginna eat froofroo French food at LaMadeline! Mmmmm! (again with how much I love food! Ha!)

My baby is totally throwing me off! I'm trying to watch her natural tired/sleep cycles to see about a nap schedule where I can get her to sleep in her crib during the day and get things done without wearing her the whole time. But she is going through a growth spurt this week, eating nearly every hour and dosing off constantly so that will have to wait.

This weekend is gonna be awesome! Woo Hoo!

That is all.

Spiritual Stuff and Random Thoughts

- Fear has been a hot topic in my life lately. It's come up in sermons, in a Bible Study Ryan and I are doing together, with my mom and sister and in my own life.

- I realized recently that my greatest fear in life is losing a child. I've known some awesome Christian families that have lost children as young as 12 and 16 as well as several families who lost a baby before birth. I pray that God would never let me walk there. And I'm learning to roll that fear over to God when it strikes, and every time I hear of someone's loss... it strikes.

- I'm so grateful for my sweet healthy baby girl. (We may be headed to the Pediatrician today to double check a rash that was supposed to clear up over the weekend but didn't) I'm thankful for good health care too.

- God has really been reaching out to me right where I am in life. I'm finding it hard to sit down and have regular quality Jesus Time with my little one and yet I feel like little things are drawing me to Him. Things like a fairly accurate Bible TV show, a Study Ryan and I can do together and switch off with the Baby. It's a DVD/workbook format. Small group and church are both encouraging and convicting.

- Yesterday Ryan and I took Water, Coke, and Doughnuts around to all the construction workers building homes around us. It's crazy how fast our street is developing. That really helped my attitude about the noise. These guys are hard workers and were very grateful for the treats and it humbled me.

- The Bible Study Ryan and I are working on is bridging a gap between us. It's about evangelism. One of the first exercises was to tell each other the first thing that came to mind when hearing that word. My big hearted husband said "Obedience, making disciples, sharing God's love etc" My answer? "Annoying Solicitation" I know, that's not the kind of response a Christian should have about something that is so clearly laid out in the Bible, I have been jaded by approaches past churches have taken... So this is the gap we are bridging... How is God calling us to Share Him in our daily lives.

- We are getting rid of TV. This is a personal conviction we have discussed and believe is right for us. We don't think TV is wrong and we will continue to watch movies and Netflix but in a limited amount. We want to be more productive when we are together; spend time connecting with one another and our sweet little girl.

- I mowed the back yard this weekend. My husband didn't really like the idea but I had a long week of a lot of just me and Baby and I needed a break. Mowing was not quite like vacuuming the yard like I expected and I felt like I might die from allergies afterwards, but I got a good work out and a better appreciation for what my husband does! :)

- I want to join the YMCA this fall once Hannah-Kate is on solid food and sitting up etc. I see this as a very productive thing for us as Ryan will be back in school after the summer break and I will have lots of time to kill. I also know a couple of cool ladies who have memberships I'd love to team up with.

- I've been thinking about what my role in my family should be... I think God is showing me

- My husband is a hard worker, and a dedicated man. These are great traits that are hard for me to appreciate all the time because it seems to mean I see less of him... working on this...

- What's the difference between being: Loving, Clingy, and Co-Dependant? Where might I fall? ... exploring this...

- Someone blogged about Mom Jeans  :) ... Heck I'd just like to fit in to Mom Jeans... what's worse is maternity jeans when you aren't preggers anymore! Hah!... I suck at losing weight  : /

- I really enjoy time with my mom and sis, if something should happen to change how much time I get to spend with them... I will be sad.

- It's my first Mother's Day this Sunday! :) I'm super excited! It's amazing how 1 day out of the year can go from excruciating to exhilarating. I'm so glad I get to be a Mommy.