I recently began a Ladies Bible Study at my new church and most of it is very applicable and full of spiritual nutrients and it's a great placce for me to meet new women but today was tough.
I love speaking with the ladies at this study but all the women I've met are career women or stay at home moms which is great but I'm not either and am sort of finding it hard to find some common ground.
Today's topic was love. We defined four different greek words used for love in the Bible.
Erao- Is your romantic love. Or intense love. It's Passionate love that specifically has desires.
Storgeo- Is a love you don't really have a choice in. It's a natural, deep rooted love, like how you feel about family memebers.
Phileo- Is the most common love we see today. It's described as personal affection and fondness that is subjective and often times based on how lovable a person is or how well two people get along etc.
Agapao- is the love people preach about most often because it's the love Christ demonstrated. This love is rooted in the mind or will of the person doing the loving. Meaning it's a choice, not a feeling. This love is to value a person and it benefits the beloved. It is unconditional.
The challenge we were given is: Do you Agape love your friends? Do you give them the attention and time and investment that they need?
We looked at four basic necessities or just parts of a good relationship.
Availability
Vulnerability/depth
Truth and Conflict
Commitment
I got to listen to all the ladies at my table relate these things to their current friendships and while it's great stuff that I'll have for future relationships; hearing stories about great friends who were there for each other in crisis and able to confront one another in love and share therselves with one another and pray for each other etc... it just left me feeling sad.
I want that! I don't struggle so much with overcommiting myself or a bust schedule like most of these women. I don't struggle with being gentle or sympathetic towards others. I have love and compassion and time beyond what I need I just don't have the friends to invest in.
During the week part of our homework was to take a 30 minute test to help detirmine our top 3 spiritual gifts.
Mine are:
Mercy
Shepherding
Exhortation
And maybe that's why I have such a longing to be with people all the time. Maybe that's why I don't like being alone for long periods of time. Maybe that's why I might seem a little more needy of my husband than he's used to.
I need people to love and be loved by and they aren't here yet.
It's weird because I used to ask questions like: What is my purpose? What should I do with my time? What am I good at and who am I?
Well now through this study I am able to answer all those questions but am having trouble finding the means to do what it is I feel called to do!
Oh to be able to do things like when we were in elementary school:
"Hi I'm Tiffany, will you be my friend?"
Can you see adults doing stuff like that now? Life was easier then.
I need some hobbies or something.
I need some friends.
1 comment:
I remember this place in marriage and adulthood. Those wonderful friends I tell you stories about...I didn't meet them until after the first year of our marriage. It took some time. You aren't doing anything wrong. Most things worth having are really not as instant as our culture tells us they are. You know where I am...until you find those great, life-long, soul sister friends at least.
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