Lesson From "The Happy Light"

Seasonal depression is a struggle that affects a good portion of the world this time of year. It's dark, cold, wet, anything that goes wrong has a different kind of power. It finds a way to build and climb into your very being to haunt you and often times you just want to close yourself up and be alone.
Being proactive, my family now has what we've named The Happy Light. It's supposedly sunlight in a light/lamp form and is supposed to generate the same positive effects the sun does in Spring or Summer. I'm not sure if I truly believe this works, but it is an interesting concept.

I was sitting next to The Happy Light the other day and looked at it... I couldn't. Not for too long, it's VERY bright, clear, white, and powerful. It sort of hurts my eyes and gives me a headache. Maybe you're not supposed to look directly at it, or maybe I'm just a wimp or something.

Thinking about this has caused many metaphors to build up in my head. I think about how, while we aren't conscious of it, we allow ourselves to be accustomed to the darkness, and while it may not be pleasant it becomes easy. After a while the light seems harsh and painful to be exposed to, but maybe that's because we've spent too much time in the shadows and NEED to feel the sun again. It's sort of like, when you're so cold and you draw a warm bath, your toes burn in that icy way for a few moments just because of the extreme contrast. Once you get past that slight discomfort the warmth sets in and we feel comfort again.

I have come into my own in a sense. Only just months ago did I feel like I couldn't make any big decisions for myself. I based every choice, every feeling of worth, on everyone's opinion but my own. Everything but what I know in my heart to be true.
Now, I find myself not only making my own BIG decisions, but making big decisions that have huge consequences good and bad, being able to deal with each consequence accordingly, and making these decisions without consulting everyone I feel close to.
I feel like I'm getting stronger, like I can actually be a good friend again. Like I can really be there for those who have been there for me and with me through some of the most difficult times in my life, and the most irritating thing in this moment of recognition is that it's taken me so long.

The Happy Light... maybe its working. It still hurts in some ways but not as bad. I'm starting to feel the warmth through the numbing, burning cold.
Now, I'm probably not ready for everything that is to come, but I'll get there. If I were ready for whatever was to come my way before it came, how would I learn anything? I'm more aware of reality now than I think I ever was before. I'm more aware of my weakness, and God's strength in that weakness. His victory, in my failure... it sucks for sure but at least I know the final outcome will be worth it in the end.

I feel as though I've been rather distant from the things in life with real eternal value. Things like my spiritual relationship, my family, my friends.
Sometimes we let our focus falter to things that are full of destruction, things that draw us into the darkness and make the sunlight so harsh. But what I don't understand is why. What is the draw? I'm not really sure, except that it's something that's a part of our humanity, something that was triggered when man fell into depravity.

Well, The Happy Light stays on, and I have decided to enjoy it. Sunlight is healthy. It may be harsh at first, but soon the warmth and feeling of real life will set in and true joy will be found to replace the sad excuse for so called earthly happiness. Everyone should get a happy light, and have it all throughout the year. You can never have too much sunlight. (Well, at least the kind that won’t burn your skin or give you cancer.)