Christopher's Room

I'm thinking very simple and basic on fabrics and let the details take over. Here are my ideas in picture form!

I have also see metal plates with masculine letters on them at Hobby Lobby and I think I want to spell out his name. I'm sure I can get barked covered picture frames and possible even a lamp. Target has these mirrored birds on a line that I like as well. I don't want everything to feel too flat and there are endless possibilities to this room. And in my opinion, the theme is very refreshing yet peaceful. I've got 4 or 5 more weeks until I really get to start working on one of these rooms and find out if my baby is my son or daughter! :) I'm so excited!

Fall is in the Air!

i absolutely LOVE fall time! It's my favorite season! The smells, the weather, the spirit/feel of it all! Thanksgiving, which leads into Christmas! It's just a fabulous time of year. Plus I'm really missing my family and looking forward to two great weekends in October with them before the big Christmas get together! I'm going to get to see my Nonnie from Kentucky! I'm so excited. I'm also going to get to share the gender of our Precious Little One with my family and that is something to get excited about! I'm already very excited for the holidays and the next several months. This summer has been full of difficulties but God is teaching me how to be content in all circumstances and how to find joy in all situations. I miss Austin so much! But one thing I have really come to enjoy out here are the trees. One of my favorite things to do growing up was walking. When the weather was nice I was always walking the trails of our beautiful neighborhood that had amazing oak trees. Here my favorite trees are the pines! We didn't have those back in Round Rock and they are gorgeous! There are all sorts of trees and plants here that I am not used to seeing because the ground stays moist and it rains so much more than back home. We are house hunting like crazy and narrowing down the field to neighborhoods we want to have our children in. I always thought the home and the features of the house were most important to me but I have learned that I would rather sacrifice some of the lovely features I was privileged to have before, for a gorgeous and safe neighborhood/community for my kids to grow up in. Much like what I had as a child. That means the houses are not brand new but I just LOVE thickly wooded neighborhoods with walking trails, some of which are gated with a security guard at the entrance! If we stay in Cypress we have it narrowed down to two neighborhoods. If not Cypress we are looking into Katy and Richmond (Which is the closest we can afford to be to Sugar Land) and are both closer to Melissa and Jon, and are still great suburbs with good school systems, (Which is really just something we have to consider for resale value and community dynamics) What an adventure we are on. God is teaching us so much and I feel there is much to look forward to in the coming months!

Thoughts...

Well, I'm a working girl again and I'm learning a lot. I've been out of the corporate work seen for about a year! It's hard to work with other people! LOL. I've been working it the oldest room at work with all the school aged kids, waiting to go back to school. The first few days I observed and helped and asked questions. After that I found out I would be leading this class on Friday. So I began to address some pretty serious issues. 1. Acrobatics in a classroom with hard floors is not only against the rules but dangerous and are no longer allowed. (This came with a lot of kick back as the young high school teachers in that room not only allowed the activity but participated as "judges") 2. The game "Wall Ball" is an outdoor game! (This is a game where you throw a tennis ball up against the wall and try to hit other players with it. If players are struck by the ball they have to run to tag the wall before someone else throws the ball up against the wall.) This game was being led inside a classroom by a teacher! 3. I have never seen such disrespect in my life. Teachers need to know that our job is to look out for the safety and well being of the kids, not become their best friend and let them do what they want. Every time I have asked a child to do something or refrain from doing something I have received, back talk, arguments, snotty looks and sarcastic comments. This is definitely not OK. Am I becoming the "bad guy" most likely but these kids are way too old for the kind of behavior they display and they know better. 4. The teachers in this room are not good influences on the kids. They have cultivated disrespect by playing around in the kind of voice and attitude they speak to the kids with and allow the kids to speak to them. I actually witnessed a male teacher as two male students if a substitute that came in the day before was pretty. When the boys responded "no" he gave them both a high five and stated he agreed with them! I was so appalled and offended. I've been debating whether or not to sit down with the director and share my observations about this room. I don't want to look like a know it all or tattle tale, but should I really ignore this kind of thing?

Baby Room Design! (Hannah Kate)

I have so many little things that I love for Hannah Kate's room if she is making her entrance in February. I'm not so sure about the fabrics now that I see all the fun stuff we can accessorize with. I may go all out on wall clings, canvas art, and frilly accessories and do more neutral but bright and colorful fabrics for the bedding. :) And I'm thinking maybe a bright yellow rocker! :) And the Red dresser would be the changing table.

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Season of Change

It's been a while since I've blogged, mostly because what was always on my mind was either too sad to want to post or suddenly very exciting but still a secret. And now there is SO much that is changing and for once, I'm not feeling so anxious about it! This morning I am baking wild blueberry muffins and the smell is not only not making me sick to my stomach but just another reminder that Fall is coming! I love Fall, I believe it is my favorite year! It's like a new beginning in the middle of a calendar year! The leaves start changing (More beautifully in some places than others.) And the weather begins to get cooler, (hopefully) That wonderful autumn cinnamon smell wafts through the doors of grocery stores and craft stores alike and then my own home. Pumpkin bread, Candles, snuggling up with a good book, even the nights feel different and everything about the season is comforting to me! Plus, I really love fall fashion! :) I am so excited about this season. I'm in a new city where everything is different and I've really struggled with it but something about this season just puts me at peace and I began to put my emotions in their place by really making an effort. I'm excited about our new church! We went to a Sunday School class for the first time this past Sunday and were greeted by several friendly people! It was the perfect amount of welcome without being overwhelming, fake, or something more about an agenda than just greeting a person. We were even invited out to lunch with a couple a little farther along in life than we are but who have very similar Foster Care experiences as we do, and are no longer fostering at this point. We found we have a lot in common, and I found out about Women's Bible studies on Wednesday mornings. Yesterday, I knew was going to be a bit rough because I spent the majority of last week visiting family in Austin and when I came home I had a job interview to go to and my mother in law in town to hang out with while Ryan was at work and then we all got to enjoy each other's company during the weekend. So yesterday was a "real" day again. Ryan at work, and me on my own. I decided to take charge and be content no matter what. So my first task was to get caught up on the laundry! (Not an easy one when the dryer doesn't work properly. It piled up while I was gone too!) But I got it done! And when I did I went to the bank and happened to find a Joanne's! I went in there and found great fabric swatches for nursery ideas. Then I stumbled upon a Barnes and Noble which has been a date place for Ryan and I since the beginning. I browsed there for a little while and before I knew it Ryan was home and I had had a good day! Now I know it's not even August until tomorrow but I'm so excited about this new season and learned that I can get excited about new seasons in life too! Even if they do seem hard. Finding the good in things isn't always easy and can take time but it's so worth fighting for. I'm hoping to get a call back on a job I interviewed for today. I'd love to work just until Baby comes to get some extra money in the bank! We will see!

Dear God...

You must think I am a whole lot stronger than I do! Or maybe you are just pushing me to fully trust you because there seems no other option. You know I struggle with control... Or rather the lack of any.. So why put so much out of my control at one time? I am having trouble getting A's passport so I don't know if he will be able to come on vacation with us or not, but court and mediation are before vacation so I guess he could go home before then. But if he doesn't and I can't get a passport for him we have to find someone we trust to look after him for seven days. Then there is the crazy notion of not knowing if A will be a permanent part of our family! As we prepare to move to Houston and start all over in a new city! And of course there is the now 16 month long journey of little control, waiting for our precious baby, wondering what might go wrong this month, and pleading with you to let it be, as if I have much influence on your decision or timing. God I am weary. I am trying to be obedient the best I know how but whether it be true impatience or a mixture of real emotions and artificial hormones, I am failing miserably. I don't want to do what you have called me to anymore! I'm so tired of being tired and stressed out all the time! I just want for some good to happen in our lives now. Enough with the long and sorrowful, the out of control and unknowns. Can I just have a break please!? I know you love me and you know better than I do what is good for me but I feel completely alone and astranged from you. I wouldn't be surprised if that's my own fault. I've been so angry lately... And irritated. God please, make things right in our home. Answer the pleas of my heart and the longings in my soul.

Hannah Kate

My Precious Girl, I think about you all the time and you don't even exist yet. That's how much I love you! Your Daddy and I are waiting for you, or your brother, whichever comes first, as patiently as we know how. It's not easy though, let me tell you... But nothing in life worth waiting for is easy. I dream about you, about how you will look, how you will smile and laugh, what you will wear and eventually who you will be. I imagine you to be very vibrant and full of life like your Mommy, but curious, purposeful and determined, like your Daddy. I imagine you will have thick curly hair and brown eyes like us both, and be breathtakingly gorgeous. I cannot wait for your arrival. I have your room all planned out in my head. I've chosen a theme, colors, furniture and accessory ideas. I think about putting bows in your hair, changing your diapers and singing to you daily. I wonder if you will be artistic and musical like me, or athletic and sporty like Ryan, either way I think about being at games or recitals and helping you practice whatever it is you want to do. I think about having "girl talk" when you are old enough to start asking questions about life. I know you will have an adoring Daddy who loves you more than you know, already! He is not the emotional type but I wonder what we will see in his face the first moment he lays eyes on you... I wonder what kind of friends you will have, what you will want to do with your time, what you will like to eat, who you will meet, what your future goals will be. I imagine your first boyfriend and let my thoughts stop wandering there. You are not here yet and I don't want you to grow up too fast but I have so many hopes and dreams for your happiness, whatever that may look like. I can't wait to know of your presence, to meet you for the first time, to spend countless nights awake with you. You are my dream and my joy and I am learning how to be strong and Godly in my wait for you. It's the hardest thing I've ever done but you are so worth it. I love you so much. And I hope God sends you soon. Forever Yours, Mommy