Family Life

We dedicated Levi to the Lord on Sunday. A little family thing as our dedication with our church is on Mother's day and created several schedule conflicts with our family members.

Hannah Kate was dedicated at about the same age and it makes me realize how fast time flies.

We dedicated Levi in San Gabriel park and it was beautiful and perfect.

Levi is becoming more vibrant, social and happy lately! Which is incredible because he wakes up every two hours or so at night!

This is something we are working on very gently and gradually but I'll admit, the sleep deprivation is starting to get to me. It doesn't help that Ryan's work is picking up so much that he often doesn't even see the kids during the day or he catches an hour or two with them before bed. So needless to say, life is getting pretty stressful for me and some days are more of a struggle than others. Exhaustion is a crazy thing... The combination of chasing and consistently (and hopefully calmly) disciplining a 2 year old all day and tending to a baby around the clock, keeping up with diapers, dishes, and laundry (Not very well, I might add) It takes it's toll. And I'm just going to be real here, not doing it well really get's to me. I want my house, my kids, my behavior, my life to be perfect... (Like it's actually attainable!) and when it's not, I feel like a failure. You'd think I'd have gotten over this by now because it's a daily issue!
That feeling of inadequacy grows and festers inside my psyche with every added night of crappy sleep, every long day my husband and I have to work our roles separately until bed time, every time I lose my temper, fail a diet or exercise goal, go to bed with a messy house or laundry left in baskets instead of put away... which, is pretty much every day.
I'd say that this failure issue is probably my greatest battle in life right now. The thing I'm forced to either bring to Christ daily, or suffer with.

But my God is so big and so gracious, that even on the days that I don't make time to bring my struggles to Him in prayer He still shows me His Love and blessings in my life and brings to light the joy I have in my kids laughs and smiles, in little blessings throughout the day, in gorgeous weather and majestic creation that just radiates true beauty and emanates original poetry. Things My God knows, speak to my heart.

My husband and I are planning a "Light at the end of the tunnel" vacation for this fall. When things calm down after the summer we will take the kids and go somewhere beautiful where we can fully enjoy God's creation in what I consider the most beautiful time of the year. Planning this trip gives us something to look forward to and brings us closer together in the little moments we get with each other.

In all things, God reminds me that His grace is enough and His strength is made perfect in my weakness. He is much bigger than my failures and emotional inconsistency. :)