A 2yr Old And A 3 Month Old

My amazing kids keep me so busy I haven't had a chance to update my blog about them!

Hannah Kate turned 2 about 3 weeks ago and she is as full of life and energy as ever before if not more.
She was potty training like a xhanp but decided one day that she just wasn't interested anymore so we are working on that this week. All we really need to do is find her motivation. She knows how to do it.
Hannah Kate has become more affectionate towards me and Ryan and more jealous of her little brother and unfortunately much more randomly aggressive towards other children. This little issue breaks my heart but we are working hard on making it a short phase. Discipline has been a large parr of her day in recent weeks but she is still sweet and big hearted and my precious little Angel ... Who just happens to be VERY two.

Levi just turned 3 months old on Thursday and today I was told he is starting to look more like me. I still think he has his daddy's eyes but his hair continues to grow thicker and more curly every day. :)
His quiet and laid back personality has done a 180. He has gotten very fussy lately and very clingy. He has also started drooling like crazy. How early can teething start?! He has also been pretty congested and really struggles with air bubbles causing him gas and discomfort so I don't MIBs holding and wearing him but lately even that isn't enough to calm him. He and HK have been a hand full lately and I admitted I have been feeling pretty overwhelmed with everything lately but I do love my job and my incredibly adorable and amazing children.

I'm trying to remember that we are on a great adventure but lack of sleep and alone time sometimes scew my perspective. I'm a work in progress :)

5 Years

Today is the anniversary of the day I married my Husband. My confidante, friend, and partner.

In the last five years we have lost family members, pets, battled infertility, journeyed through foster parenting, moved 4 different times (Not including 2 weeks in limbo where we stayed with gracious friends) we had two children of our own, made 8 trips to the ER/Urgent care center, traveled to Costa Rica, The Bahamas, Lake Tahoe, and Chicago together. We have laughed, cried, and simply lived life together, hand in hand for five beautiful years. Experiencing our fair share of trials and triumphs, good times and bad.

And now we are embarking on yet another big and exciting journey TOGETHER! We are following God's will for our family in starting our own business.
Being self employed is not easy and not a hugely desired career these days. And it requires A LOT. We are aware that what we are doing is risky, and some may deem it unwise, but even more unwise in our opinion would be disobedience to God.

The Bible is FULL of stories where God called people to step out in faith, and a lot of those times He didn't lay out His detailed plan or give more than one instruction at a time, but "Blessed are they who hear the word of God and obey" Luke 11:28

Hebrews has a chapter referred to as The Hall of Faith. A place in the Bible devoted to listing all the accounts of people who put their faith in God even when they did not understand, could not see, didn't know, or were told to do the opposite. And it was accredited to them as righteousness because they obeyed God.

I never feel closer to my husband than when we are walking hand in hand where we know God has called us to be.

I am SO proud of my hard working Man who loves me and our children so much that he puts God first, and listens to Him over the wisdom of man. That is Godly leadership. And I am happy to follow him in this great adventure God is leading us on.

I am confident we are right where we are supposed to be and we are there TOGETHER. There is no better place.
Happy Anniversary to us! :)

This Adventure We Call Life

When I was young, I thrived in a world full of imagination. I read and wrote stories for pure pleasure and loved adventures!

Today I am thankful for that freedom I had to explore creativity, imagination and excitement through fiction, fantasy, and creative writing. I still hope to be an author some day but right now my focus is on other things.

My life is a GREAT adventure! I am drawing from the childlike spirit I had that was full of positive light to see my life as one of the greatest stories ever told. (And let's be honest; some days are harder than others to choose such a perspective.)

I'm a Mom, Wife, Housekeeper, and business partner (Super Hero)
My Husband is also a father, provider, business owner/partner (Also a super hero)
We are partnering in this great adventure we call life.
We have a rambunctious little two year old best described as a toddler pin ball (She literally bounces off of walls and furniture and just pops back up and keeps running around with ENDLESS energy)
Her name is Hannah-Kate. She is beautiful, sweet, hilariously funny, and VERY two (For those of you without kids this means incredibly difficult at times.)
We also have a son, Levi who is 2 and a half months old, and poor guy hasn't had the same documentation as his older sister so far... I'm gonna try to get better about that.
He is a handsome baby. Full of life and smiling and cooing so much more lately. He was sleeping really well until his 2 month well check where we got to brag about his longest night time stretches, then he decided not to sleep more than 3 or 4 hours at a time again... hmmm. Sleepless nights... that sounds like an ingredient for great adventures! ;)

My husband and I have been talking and praying about running our own AC business for about 3 years on and off. And over the past few months it became clear that God was definitely leading us in that direction. I just had no idea how soon!
A number of issues took place at Ryan's job over the last 4 weeks that lead us to the prayerfully considered decision to put in notice at work and prepare ourselves for business ownership.
That got cut short when said business decided to deduct and entire weeks pay from Ryan's paycheck from the Paternity leave they granted him when Levi was born.
So here we are, the 3rd day with Ryan at home focusing on getting the business up and running.
I have been in charge of websites, profiles, social media, uniform, business card, flyer, and vehicle advertising design and production as well as important things like health care. I'm also still the primary caregiver for both children, (This includes around the clock nursing about every 3 hours and potty training!) and am still taking care of house hold duties.
On top of all of that I am striving to seek out ways to honor, support, and encourage my husband while managing my own anxieties about this leap of faith we have taken.
THIS IS A GREAT ADVENTURE!
And some days it feels just like that! Other days I feel on the verge of panic but even in my weakest moments I feel God's hand on my shoulder, purposing scripture in the form of song to come forth in my mind when I need it the most.
My life's verse has popped up in a lot of various places and is WELL thought of lately.

Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight.

Here's What's On My Mind Today...

I hate politics and I hate overly opinionated conversations about politics on social media and in public conversations.

I put that pre curser out there because I'm about to address a part of a speech our president made. As I present my opinion and feelings on the matter I want to make it clear that what I am attempting to address is my decision to stay at home with my children. I am not in any way trying to bash our president and I in no way see this as a part of a "Mommy War" or have any negative comments for working moms.

Let me start with what Obama said:
"And sometimes someone, usually mom, leaves the workplace to stay at home with the kids, which then leaves her earning a lower wage for the rest of her life as a result. That’s not a choice we want Americans to make."

USA Today released an article a few months ago with the most recent statistic that only 29% of mother's with children under the age of 18 are stay at home moms.

Our society is not quiet about how it values education, career, and money over being in the home, especially as it relates to women as we strive to "prove our equality" and so it seems wrongly assumed that those of us who do CHOOSE to stay at home are stupid and ignorant of the sacrifices of our decision to stay at home.

Let me just say that this is NOT the case. We have every right to make this decision with our husbands and for our families and this decision is just as valuable and well thought out as the mother's who choose to go back to work.

I personally, have known since I was 9 years old that I wanted to marry a wonderful man, have some amazing children, and spend my time investing in them and our home. I'm living my dream!
I CHOSE not to go into debt for a college degree because I KNEW I wanted to devote myself to my children full time and I knew I wanted to have children young.
I made sure my husband knew this about me and supported that decision within the first two weeks of dating!
We BOTH understood since before we were engaged that we would eventually be a one-income family WITH CHILDREN. And we BOTH valued that decision.
We have always known that because of this personal priority we will never have a lavish life style, but we will always have just enough. (Unless God decides to bless us more immensely than he already has!)
This sacrifice has always been well acknowledged and accepted as we made our decision.
I knew from my teen years when I decided not to pursue a college degree or corporate career that I would lead a very different lifestyle from that which is more common and valued in our society.
This is something I struggle with daily. I have dealt with more comments and situations where I felt my choice was deemed wrong or a waste or unintelligent for one reason or another and am constantly fighting to remind myself that my value and worth is not in a degree or career but in Christ alone and my choice to stay at home with my children is just as valuable as the choice of those who decide to work outside the home.

I am not ignorant. People who don't care to understand why women WANT and CHOOSE to stay at home are ignorant and frankly the idea that the reason women shouldn't have to choose to stay home is because they will make less money seems to indicate that my time with my children is not as valuable or more valuable than money! WRONG!
My time with my children and my CHOICE to make them my career will ALWAYS be more important than a second income or having more money!
And raising them the way my family deems best is contributing to the future of our country by investing in the next generation!

I am PROUD of my HARD decision to stay at home with my kids and I am PROUD of my husband for taking on the role of provider by himself and standing beside me united in OUR decision to have me stay at home.

It is a sad day to me when such an important leader makes such an ignorant statement of an already persecuted 29% of Mom's. Don't make our decision seem forced. Don't make our decision seem wrong or less important or uneducated and don't you dare try to take that decision away.

Okay, it's out, I'm done.

So Much...

I'm not very good at blogging more regularly but things have been pretty crazy lately.

My church is going through Ephesians right now and is in a mini series about spiritual warfare and the armor of God and as such I am seeing a lot of life in a different way, wondering what spiritual warfare might be underlying in the circumstances I'm observing or experiencing.

My husband's sweet family has been through a whirl wind this past week as his step father went to trial for his indictment and verdict. The trial was with a jury and he was found guilty of insurance fraud. We know this to be false but it doesn't matter in the eyes of the law/government. He and his lawyers are working on an appeal but right now it looks like all of his assets will be taken and he will be given a prison sentence in February. This news has just devastated the family and really put Bob on all our hearts. He does not currently have a relationship with God so we are just covering him in the prayer that this would be his "Come to Jesus moment" and we do believe that God is calling to him and things are heading in that direction.

This past week Ryan was on call and worked a lot! The days that he was at home he happened to be very sick which means this 8 months pregnant mother of a 20 month old shouldered a lot of extra responsibility.
I'm also struggling with allergies pretty terribly and am limited in what I can take and my toddler doesn't seem able to sleep through the night anymore.
Needless to say, this Monday rolled around and I am already exhausted and extremely behind in house work.

Then my Monday decided to take a downward spiral when I got a call from my gastro dr that said they finally got all sorts of test results back that pointed to there NOT being a problem after all so they have no idea why I've had a terrible bout of illness in all three trimesters of this pregnancy even though it doesn't seem pregnant related.
I called my husband on my way home from Costco to tell him this news and my sleep deprived, sick, pregnant, mommy brain completely missed the fact that the light I just went through was RED! I got honked at and pulled over by no less than THREE police officers (THANK YOU JESUS AN ACCIDENT DID NOT TAKE PLACE) who were all quite angry with me and didn't seem to care that I was scared, 8 months pregnant and with my toddler and made a mistake! My dad saw all the officers and was worried so pulled into the parking lot to make sure I didn't get arrested or something where he would need to take Hannah Kate! I felt sad and stupid and Lord knows this ticket does not fit in our budget nor does the added stress and time of trying to take defensive driving and making it to a court house with a toddler 6 and a half weeks before giving birth!

THEN I take HK to the YMCA to meet the deadline to sign her up for All About Me for tomorrow and while I'm holding her on my big pregnant hip, filling out the paper work with one hand she leaks through her diaper and pees all over me. No big deal! I hold it together and decide it's much easier to change her and me than having to get her car seat out of the car, take the cover off, wash it, put it back together and back in the car.
At this point I decided I needed a LARGE starbucks drink and my favorite ham and swiss Panini so I go through a starbucks drive through on my way back home and by the time we get there I have drained my fully caffeinated, full of fat and calories drink and save my special sandwitch for after I get HK down for a nap.
I go into my house and find my psycho dog decided to play like a toddler while I was gone and scatter HK's toys and two packages of clean diapers all over the floor! (such clutter!) The dishes are overflowing from my sink onto my counter, the dishwasher needs unloaded and messes all over my house are just screaming at me.
My toddler was wound up and took forever to finally go down for her nap but when she did I went to my room, sat on my bed and took a bite of my special lunch.... which was NOT what I ordered!
This was turkey with something sweet and a bunch of yucky red bell peppers! NOT what I wanted!

My back hurts, I have to pee every 10 minutes and I feel I will never get on top of my crazy to do list.
This is a Monday for the records!

But.... God is bigger, tomorrow is a new day, and I can do this!

Parenting

The past week or so has been somewhat of an interesting experiment and a whirlwind of exerted energy from this pregnant mama! :)

My sister began researching certain personality traits of highly sensitive and spirited children after speaking with a friend of hers and my curiosity led me to do the same.
Hannah-Kate is definitely not considered a Highly Sensitive Person but her mama sure is! Ha! Imagine that! ;)
But my research on trying to better understand my child and how she thinks led me to try to discover what is behind her extreme physical/tactile behavior. And let me stop right here just to be clear, I was and am in NO way searching for a label to put on my child to make myself feel better as a parent. Nor do I even really think she fits the bill of any one "label" or "Personality" I was and am simply trying to be sure that as we move more into training, teaching, and disciplining Hannah Kate, we are not breaking her spirit or trying to change her personality or individuality and so that leads me to try to understand what is behind her behavior. Why she does the things she does.

AND... My research has been magnificently helpful. For whatever reason, my daughter has a deeper and more intense need for tactile/physical sensory input and output.
This week after reading signs and symptoms of this intense need I began to see the difference between tantrums and sensory need melt downs.
Here's the difference:
When HK is upset that she can't have her way or being your ordinary toddler with ordinary frustrations she will fall to the floor and throw a whiny fit for a few minutes.
When she is in need to extra sensory activities she is fussy and takes to impulsively hitting a toy against the wall. Even the toy slamming against the wall is helping that sensory input in a small way. The impact, the vibrations etc.
I started really paying attention to how many times a day my daughter asks to "go bye-bye" or play with playdough or bubbles or paint or play outside.
Literally from the moment she wakes up she is asking for one of these things.
I changed my perspective this week from seeing these as childish desires as more needs in her life. I looked up activities and crafts and set out to do several each day.
I stopped telling her not to do things like clearing off book shelves and dumping all of her toys out or making other messes and simply focused on helping her learn to pick it all up when she's done.
I started some "toddler massages" to help her calm down and really focused on understanding her and why she does what she does and the affection and outpouring of both of our hearts trying to work on the same page has been astounding. She even started sleeping better both during naps and at night!

I'm going through a parenting book in my ladies Bible Study that I'm kind of having a hard time with because it doesn't seem to leave room for this kind of thing. I feel like we really need to feel confident that we know and understand our children before we go about trying to shepherd and discipline them.
My daughter's extreme need for physical and tactile input is taxing and downright exhausting some days, and I do run out of ideas and energy sometimes to keep her sustained and I'm going to be honest, I'm anxious to have several plans in place for how to keep giving her what she needs when her little brother arrives but I LOVE this about her. She is intense and passionate. Her passion for her desires and needs and her zest for life comes from her Mommy. And her tactile and physical learning comes from her Daddy.
And knowing this about her early, and preparing ourselves for homeschooling makes me feel like we have already rescued her from being wrongly labeled and misunderstood in today's world. She is unique, and has a very special personality that I want to cultivate and help thrive. I don't want to crush her spirit, change who she is, or frustrate her with discipline to make my life easier. Having kids is something many people do, and it seems easy in our society.
Loving, training, and raising kids Biblically and as Jesus would, THAT'S hard. But more than worth it!
Understanding Hannah Kate in this special way this week and loving her physical needs as they lead to more and sweeter physical affection has just burst my heart open to grow in love for her more than I thought possible. As I get to see more and more of who she is becoming I just love her more and more.

I'm so thankful for a loving God who not only made us all so uniquely but cares about and understands our unique needs and desires.

I'm excited about figuring out who Levi will turn out to be. I am officially in the final stetch of the third trimester and I am so excited!
This Christmas is just going to be so full of so much joy! I'm not even sure my heart can handle it! ;) (Of course it can!)
I get to see how my little man is measuring and coming along tomorrow! I can tell he has grown significantly. And am pretty certain he is more than healthy based on his kicking activity.
I love seeing him though, I love day dreaming about the day he will arrive and adding him to our little family at my favorite time of year!
My little Christmas present. :)

SEPTEMBER!!!

I love September! It's the start of everything new!
A New Season, New weather! New Bible Studies and Mom groups. New opportunities, goals, and projects!

Friday was my first Mops meeting of this school year and it was great. I'm really hoping to get connected with some new friends and get some great advice and encouragement for everyday living!

Today I attended the first Bible Study at the church Ryan and I have been loving and it was pretty amazing.
There were only 3 other ladies there this time but at least 3 ladies let the leader know they would miss, so more ladies to meet next time! The leader has a 2 year old daughter and the other two moms have two kids each 22 months apart! That's how far apart in age Hannah Kate and Levi will be! And they aren't far ahead of us as both second kids are still babies! I'm really excited for this opportunity as I have been praying and searching for Mom Friends in my stage of life for a while now.
These women were warm and welcoming and easy to talk to. I felt so at ease and am so excited to have this to look forward to every Tuesday morning! :)

I also have new goals to achieve and so far so good!
I am getting back to my novel and my husband is really great at helping me stay productive. I got a new lap top so I can write at the YMCA after my little work outs and before I pick up Hannah Kate and we are establishing some writing and reading time in the evenings after Hannah Kate goes to bed.
My goal is to have the rough draft finished or nearly finished by the time Levi comes!
That's a LOT of writing to do in the next 14ish weeks! But I've been really enjoying it, and this particular book is one I've been trying to write for several years now and this is the farthest I have gotten on it. With my husband helping me keep a good pace and the positive feelings I get from accomplishing each writing goal, I think I might actually finish this venture! And even if nothing ever comes of it, finishing it would be a goal met! And that is accomplishment enough when your other accomplishments include making people! ;)